Women, would you date a man who earned less than you?

Following on from my other thread about women approaching men for a date, I am curious as to how many women would consider dating a guy who was earning less than themselves. I ask because traditionally men were the chief earners of their households and while more women are taking on that role due to women's lib etc, it still seems that as men we are expected to be good financial providers and women look more towards men who fill this criteria.

It would help if you could also state your occupation. I wonder if there's a divide between women in lower paying jobs and those in high flying careers?

Men, how would you feel about a woman being the main bread winner?

  • Yes
    72% (121)7% (9)43% (130)Vote
  • No
    11% (18)10% (13)10% (31)Vote
  • Not sure
    12% (21)4% (5)9% (26)Vote
  • Other (please explain)
    4% (7)0% (0)2% (7)Vote
  • I'm a guy/See poll results
    1% (2)79% (108)36% (110)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd have no problem with that at all. However, he should make enough to comfortably support himself and live within his financial means, like I do. I don't want to become his personal ATM. I would help him if he needed a bit of money for rent or something, as long as it didn't become a regular thing every month, or where he's asking me for money all the time for things.

    I'm a teacher although I haven't gotten my first full time position yet. I have another job right now. Starting salary is about $50 - $60,000 a year here and I live in an expensive city. I would never expect a guy to carry me financially since I'm more than capable of doing it myself.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • hmmm I dont know where guys get this frear of a woman earning more won't like me. have you ever noticed all the deadbeats who have no job, no car, no ambition and they still manage to even get married and have kids

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What Girls Said 60

  • I already do, my partner supported me when I went back to college so that I could get a better job. Our money goes into one pot so who brings in what really isn't important, and even less so since he supported us both in order for me to get where I am now.

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  • I would date/marry a guy who earned less than me, but not one who is incapable or unwilling to contribute meaningfully to the quality of life that I envision for myself and my future.

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  • Provided that he makes enough money to support himself, yes. I'm not into paying someone else's rent including my own.

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  • I would, sure, as long as he still works, has ambition, and is not lazy. It's more about effort and having goals than it is about money. I am still in school right now so currently my income is negative (rackin up that debt) but in 2.5 years (as long as all goes well lol) I will be a doctor

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  • Yes, I have before. My only requirement is that you can contribute. I don't expect you to make more or even as much as me. I don't really give a shit.

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  • I put down other, but mainly as a technicality. Right now, I'm in college so the "broke college student" syndrome has been going around, and everyone is focusing on schoool rather than working. So right no, I would date a guy based on his looks and personality mainly. But I will say, that I prefer to date someone in a high paying major (like mine).

    But as soon as I graduate, then I'll be really specific. I want the guy to be able to ake at least as much as I'll be earning in a year. The hard part about that is that pharmacists make $100,000 a year, and I understand that not as many jobs earn that. So, that's why I date other people within my major as an "investment".

    I'm not vain, it's just don't waant a lack of income, to be a problem when I get married; I see my parents argue about that a lot. I just don't want my future adoptive kids to have to worry about that. Plus, I don't want to "degrade" my husbands sense of self woth by making more than him, but I would never be ok with "dumbing myself down" in order for us to be on the same level. Dating within majors that match my own potential income, seems like a good way to save time. But later on in life, I wouldn't date someone who made a lower income than me.

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  • I wouldn't have an issue with that.

    Considering our places in life at the moment, I earn more that my boyfriend. I make in a day what he makes in 2 weeks.

    Of course, I am a senior in college with a paid internship that will (fingers crossed) turn into a job (with a raise) upon graduation. My internship is with a PA330 organization (Privatized police).

    He is a sophomore in college and works as an RA.

    We plan on getting married upon his completion of his undergrad. And for a while, following our marriage, I'll be the breadwinner as he will be continuing his education. With my field of work we won't be living too large. Hopefully comfortably though. Assuming we manage it correctly, my estimated $40-50K/year should be able to support us.

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    • "I make in a day what he makes in 2 weeks. "

      Are you an escort?

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    • Private police often escort people to their cars... just sayin'

    • he has to be hot and tall as fuck.

  • I would date him, as long as he's one of those exploiters, I wouldn't have a problem with that, my boyfriend now works on his own network operating project, he earns enough for himself, but he sometimes has some financial hardships tho, I'm in business school and probably, I'll earn more than him in the future, but that never came up on my mind as a reason not to date him, plus, I'm not dependent, I'd like my own career and financial life, I get annoyed by just asking my mother to pay for college, which here is a must, I pay like 650$ per year, which is absolutely not much, but I get irritated by just asking.

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  • As I have gotten "a bit" older, I find that things I thought mattered, don't. As long as he is employed and is responsible with the money he does earn, I'm good.

    I make more than a lot of people, it would be silly to have his earnings play any part in my dating decisions.

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  • Yes I would.
    This isn't going to be one of those stories where this old rich dude got some money, and some slut decides to marry him just for his money, then die, rich dude, I got your money!
    No.
    Although he makes a little less than me, it's not a big deal.
    Well, it sorta matters on his character.
    If he's your typical man who decides to not help around, y'know, lazy ass, no.
    But if he at least has a great personality, he's a good guy, hasn't been smoking any drugs, didn't kill any men, yeah, totally!
    It doesn't matter at that point whether finance counts or not.
    Unless you would rather take this relationship more serious, and plan on a wedding, then yes, finances count.

    Hope this helped in a way :)

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  • I earn a very high income, so unless I date someone in my field or someone who has a higher position than me, then there's a very slim chance that I will meet a guy who makes more money than me. Especially at my age, the majority of "successful" men are already taken. So I'm looking at divorcees or other guys I guess... maybe even younger guys.

    With that said, I'm willing to date a guy who makes half of my yearly income. Half of my yearly income is still pretty good and means he can at least still support himself. I'm just NOT interested in supporting someone else. If I see a guy can look after himself, and can potentially look after me (you never know what can happen, people do lose their jobs) then I'm okay with that. But if he's leaning on me for support and expects me to support him, then I'm definitely not interested in that. Ambition is very important to me. I don't like laziness, but he doesn't have to earn as much as me...

    However from my experience, dating guys who earn less than me doesn't work out. Eventually the men start to get uncomfortable and it bothers THEM. So although it doesn't bother me that doesn't mean I'll have a successful relationship and that it won't be an issue...

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  • If I were rich then yes. Why? Because it's extremely difficult to get a job here.
    If I had a normal, steady job, why not?
    Makes sense.

    I'd date someone just as jobless as me, but when it becomes too real I know I'll have to move to another country to get a job and then it would be over anyways...

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  • Hard to answer. Right now? Probably, but here's the thing. I earn just enough to get by on my own (with student support money) and if a guy earned less than me, chances are he wouldn't be able to live on his own unless the rent was significantly lower. That's ok I suppose. But in a few years? If we're about to get serious (move in and stuff) then we'd both have to earn a lot more money. The student support thingy I get will only last for as long as I study, which is for another two years if everything goes well. After that, the both of us would be fucked if we didn't earn more money. At that point it would be nice to be with someone who's financially secure. Struggling together could be cute I guess but it could also cause a major strain on the relationship. So I really don't know. If I made enough to support us both I don't think I'd mind, but right now I don't really make a lot to begin with and I'm not sure how that would affect the relationship.

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  • Sure. I'm significantly more interested in whether or not he actually enjoys his job. I don't bother asking how much a guy makes, because I'd rather hear about his day, share funny stories, whatever.

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  • I wouldn't care if I made more money, I'd still want him to take on the leadership role of the family though. Just a personal preference.

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  • His making less than me would mean nothing to me.
    I wouldn't care a bit. If my guy works and helps me build a life, I don't care about numbers. I care about effort.

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  • I don't care if he earns less than me granted he is employed and still doing something with his life. I'm not working yet but graduating at the end of the year in logistics management.

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  • Yes, it'd be great to be the bread winner.

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  • I can t say I wouldn t date a guy that earns less than me. I mean in today s world I know how hard it is to get a job and be stable.
    The problem will be if he doesn t have a degree or isn t hard working and ambitious.
    If he does have those qualities, his situation we ll get better in time and he ll be able to support me.
    Meanwhile I ll support him. Anw that s one of the reasons women get jobs, putting aside establishing yourself and following your passion, it s also to support your husband and family in case he can t.
    I am currently an architecture student but I am lucky enough to have my family s support. When I graduate I am gonna continue working in the family s business. I already have a car and a house so I am already stable thanks for my dad :)
    Yet not everyone is lucky enough to have a good backround, and he/she needs type to climb the ladder.

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  • Fuck traditional values.

    I wouldn't want to be the traditional bread winner, but I will still want to date a guy if he earns less than me. If he's otherwise an awesome guy. As of right now, I'm a student and an English teacher.

    I'd rather be with a struggling artist or a simple handyman, than being with a company shark who earns his money by selling empty promises and treating the "small" employees badly.

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  • I wouldn't mind. But it is important to me that i'm with someone who is either working towards or employed in a job they really like or feel passionately about. I think it just stems from wanting to be with someone who's also independent and has their own life and goals. I'm a library tech atm, studying part-time to become a librarian.

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  • Of course. Money means shit lol I'm not dating his wallet

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  • No, I wouldn't.
    I'm not looking for a man who's rich or who can give me money. Sure it's important to have a job, but I don't expect him to be my financial provider.
    The reason why I wouldn't date a man on this situation, it's simple because I know that some men are bothered by the idea of being in a relationship with a woman who makes more money than them.

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  • Yes. That wouldn't really be an issue for me. As long as he has a career, then it's all good. I find that most times in those situations, it's never really the woman that has the issue. It's more than likely the man. He equates that with competence amongst other other things.

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  • Women, would you date a man who earned less than you?
    B. No

    I am interested in an equal earning partner. Plus I find guys tend to get complexes, more sexist, and/or more misogynistic to reaffirm their masculinity. Also I highly doubt a guy would seriously date and commit to a gal if she was less attractive than him. So I see no reason to give guys a break on finances.

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    • so you reduce a persons value to either looks (for women) and money (for guys)... now tell me again who the mysoginist/misandrist is in your "world"?

      There is much more to a woman than looks and much more to a man than his salary.

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    • If it isn't the biggest advantage, then name what is the female genders biggest advantage! Nothing comes close to the value of your vagina, hahahaha nothing

    • fuuuark
      Again what is the biggest female advantage is a matter of opinion. Unless you have credible data or facts supporting your claim.

      Before you say Bateman's principle. Bateman's principle is not data stating the biggest female advantage is the vagina. Bateman's principle suggests that in most species reproductive success or reproductive variance is greater in males than in females. In my opinion lacking DNA variance does not support gals vaginas being the biggest advantage they have.

      If you are not going to use Bateman's principle but his promiscuous male/monogamous female dynamic as the models of reproductive success... that has been criticized. Numerous biological studies have shown just like their male counterparts promiscuous females have a higher rate of reproductive success than monogamous females.

      In your opinion nothing comes close to your perspective of value of the vagina. What you consider value may not be the general perspective.

  • I make more money than my boyfriend and it's never been an issue for me and it would never bother me, as long as someone works, then the amount of money and their occupation doesn't matter to me.

    Also i'm a cocktail server but I have an Associates to fall back on if I ever get tired of it.

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  • What matters more to me is whether or not he's as ambitious as me. A man can be as ambitious or more ambitious and still not make as much money as me, but if he isn't doing what he loves or trying to learn more and be more, then it would matter.

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  • Yes I would.

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  • Yes, why not?

    I earn quite a bit developing software (it's a lucrative field and is growing very quickly in the Netherlands). Arbitrarily rejecting any guy who makes less than me would be nonsensical and any girl who does so is definitely a gold digger.

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  • For the past 7 years I've made more than my husband. Matter of fact, he's gone back to school and isn't working recently. I don't have a problem with it at all. He supported me at one point and I'm supporting him.

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  • More from Girls
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What Guys Said 21

  • As a guy I literally don't give a shit what my girl earns. More or less, I don't care. I love her for who she is, not her paycheck.

    She could scrape shit from toilets for all I care. I'd admire her for her audacity. That's a job no-one wants to do. But, tough times call for tough calls.

    She could be a CEO of a organization and I'd admire het for how successful she is.

    Love doesn't have a paycheck. ❤💖

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  • These women are liars
    i haven't known of a successful or healthy marriage/relationship where the guy earns less...

    my ex girlfriends father made around $60,000 a year, her mom made about $140,000 and she treated the fucking guy like garbage sometimes, and her spoiled daughter followed suit...
    he felt bad about it too, my girlfriend was a insecure about her dad, and so was her mom!!!
    he was the perfect guy! a good hardworking man! i love that guy, i miss him, he loved his family so much. even though they disrespected him. i respected him, he worked just as hard as anyone else!

    My brother also had his heart broken after 5 years of dating when he got laid off at a hedge fund, he was making bank, and would treat his girlfriend to dinners, jewlwery, fucking everything it was sickening!
    when he got laid off, andd the dinners were less frequent, and she stopped getting what she wanted, she left him... he was unemployed for 4months! 4 freaking months!!! she threw him away, she coudlnt handle helping him out a bit, and paying for dinner

    easy to say one thing, when you aren't in that reality!
    i have seen that reality! its not nice at all...

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    • I believe you because i have seen the same. A woman treats her husband like shit just because the man earn more lesser than her. But i don't think all ladies have that same heart. But it will be difficult to cope with a man who has lesser income in a marriage but very easy for just in friendship or dating.

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    • i know all women aren't like this... but its hard... to find one who is secure enough in her love

    • Yea that's true.

  • I actually think it might be attractive if a woman made more money than me.. Is that weird for a dude? haha

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  • The answers give me hope for humanity.

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  • coming from a guy, I obviously don't mind lol.

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  • This question is a waste of time. Every woman says yes; only a few actually mean it.

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  • I am happy to see so many women not care so deeply about whether he makes more money than her.

    Thank you ladies.

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  • Lol I am 18 and was once with chick who was 19 when I was 17, Didn't had no ride back then and she seemed ok with it. She used to pay most of times when we used to go out, But I did put up a fair share too lol She had a job (not permanent doe) But yea it doesn't really matter out irl

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  • I think most women are ok as long as he makes some kind of money.
    Besides, if he has drive then he can always make more with her help and support.

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  • If I have a girl mark more funds then I do then we got a problem loll. I'd want to be on top

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  • A woman can earn more money than me, she keeps her money and I keep mine. She spends her how she wants and I spend mine how I want.

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  • My girl and I split everthing 50/50

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  • bitches do it all the time

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  • When my girlfriend and I started dating, she had more money than me - I didn't really have anything material to offer. It was never an issue for her.

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  • They'll say they will, and most will legitimately believe it to, but in reality it's not going to last in most cases.

    Women may 'think' it doesn't matter, but it does.

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  • If she made more money than me I'd be shocked but thrilled. We would be able to buy pretty much anything we wanted and have a massive amount of stocks. So bring her on!!

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  • Looking at the women who have been interested in me even though I'm working a dead end job, I'd say yes. But it's just a college job, and I've had elite companies asking to talk to me. Women look at potential. Most women can sense if someone is smart and ambitious.

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  • Wow this is actually depressing. I wish more women were gold diggers, thats the only thing I got going for me, my money. I am not good looking, I have zero sense of humor, I am incredibly nerdy and not very athletic. The fact that the overwhelming majority of them dont care about money sucks, when money is all you got.

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  • In theory, they don't have a problem with that. In practice, they absolutely do. Ignore the women on this, bro.

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  • Most women will say yes. They probably mean it. Two caveats:

    1st, girls who are not past about 22-23 don't care about a guy's income. Many of them are still in school, the guys who are going to earn bank are still in school, it's not yet a status marker. By 25? Different story. This site skews young.

    2) It's like asking guys 'would you date a woman 3" taller than you'. The answer is probably yes, if she's an amazingly sweet, funny supermodel who is obsessed with sex but never had a boyfriend before now.

    Sure, they'll date an amazing guy who earns less then them. Most of us are not that amazing. Most of the time, by mid 20's and onward, earning a lot less than a woman you're interested in, especially if you don't have longer term better prospects, may not be a deal breaker, but it's a big negative. Not insurmountable, and some women it's not a -big- negative.

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    • You might find this interesting (from the OKCupid data set):
      cdn.okcimg.com/.../...stributionByIncomeBright.png

    • I think that this guy has a point. I have in the past dated\lived with guys who earned quite a bit less then me. I earned more because of post grad study, long hours at work etc. I do this so I can enjoy a better quality of living. It can be hard to have a partner who does the bare minimum, and then goes home to enjoy the benefits of your hard work.

  • Don't believe this BS. Statistic shows women will ALWAY Always for the majority only date guys who make more/and or equal to her.

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