My boyfriend makes less money than me. Will it affect my marraige?

I have been seeing my boyfriend for over a year now. he's sweet and funnny but lacks ambition. I have worked hard all my life and im going to be a consultant in medicine in a few months time. Im already earning 4 Times more than him and im worried if this will affect our marraige. I dont want to sound shallow but I know finance is also an important part. Or is love enough?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • That you believe he lacks ambition is alarming. Can you elaborate on that?

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    • he's satisfied with what he's earning. He could have had better jobs but doesn't want to try. He wouldn't go for interviews and he doesn't want to work in a place with long hours even though it pays better.

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    • I think you should talk to him and begin an adult conversation about your relationship. It can be a really great thing, actually.

      For example, is he willing to be a stay at home dad? Are you comfortable with that?

      What are his long term goals in terms of home ownership, where he wants to live (cost of living), where he sees himself going professionally, etc.

    • Thankyou. :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Will he raise the kids?

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    • He wants us to spend equal time with the kids.

    • If you are making four times as much as him it only makes sense for him to stay home with he kids. He probably barely makes enough to cover daycare expenses... I hate men like that. Not men that make less money but men that refuse to stay home with the kids when you are going in the hole to put them in daycare. I have a friend whose husband won't stay home with the kids even though he makes less a week than it costs to put them in daycare.

What Guys Said 6

  • It's only important if it's important to you. Only you can answer that. If you continue to make more than him, you'll most likely contribute more to everything you do. If you are OK with that, there is nothing inherently wrong with it.

    It never bothered me contributing more financially than my girlfriend. I made more, but she still worked and wasn't lazy. If she had been taking advantage, that would have been different. But that wasn't the case so it was all good with me.

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  • Funny, he'd be a "dick" these days if the situation were reversed. All that matters is what you think. He's likely not ready for marriage if he's content not really earning money.

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  • The likely outcome is you will divorce him

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  • what do you mean he lacks ambition?

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    • he's satisfied with what he's earning. He could have had better jobs but doesn't want to try. He wouldn't go for interviews and he doesn't want to work in a place with long hours even though it pays better. I on the other hand dont even get proper meals but im doing it cuz its my job and I dont complain

    • Does he make enough to help support you and him?

    • He doesn't. He makes just the bare minimum. He wouldn't be able to support to two of us let alone a family. I guess im gonna be the one paying all the bills. I'm afraid I might resent him for that.

  • Try to change him to get a better job and earn more money.
    But don't say "you have to earn more" because that will make him resent you.
    Tell him something like "I know you are capable and I believe in you. Please don't give up I know you can find another better job that makes you more happy. Tell him to work hard."

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  • Yes. You'll eventually stop loving him. Guarantee it.

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