Would you want someone to tell you that your SO cheated on you?

I unknowingly dated a man with a girlfriend for almost a year. I found out he had a girlfriend cause he got engaged and people were talking about it on social media. I confronted him and he admitted it. He said our "situation" started a few months after they started dating. He doesn't think he's hurt his SO. When I found out, I ended our situation and haven't contacted him since, even though he wanted to continue it. I know who his SO is because of social media. I've never met her or anything. We are strangers. I'm heavily leaning towards not telling her. I don't know her and she may not believe me and take it out on me. Also, I don't want to ruin anyone's life. But I also think I should tell her so she can make her choice about being with him and for her own health. If I were, I'd want to know. What would you do/have done? Would you believe me (there is proof)?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If I never find out and they stay loyal then I suppose ignorance is bliss.

    However, if I'm going to find out, Id strongly prefer yo find out BEFORE I got engaged or moved in with them.

    I'd believe it if there was proof. I might be skeptical if there wasn't. It would depend on who it is who tells me. Generally people don't lie unless it benifits them, so I'd just try to see if the person telling me would have any motivation to lie and breask us up. If I can't think of any then I'd believe them.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you don't tell her she could end up catching an STF unknowingly because of his behavior. I highly doubt you'll be the last person he'd cheat on her with, and it's better for her to know now then for the rest of her life to be ruined because of him.

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What Guys Said 7

  • I would say something, she doesn't deserve to spend her life with a guy like that. She may not believe you, understandablly, but it is your responsibility to inform her. Its her choice what she does with that information. She is going to be hurt regardless, the sooner it is dealt with the sooner she can move on.

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  • I hate to hear it from someone else. I feel betrayed hen. (happened with an ex)

    I prefer to hear it from her. I can pardon then.
    (That too happened with an ex)
    If I stay ignorant about it, I'll never know and never be hurt.

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  • Yes, although I'd hate to hear it, its better to know. Even so, there's a tendency to shoot the messenger in these situations

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  • I would want to know.

    In my native language we have a saying translating somewhat like this: "It's better to make a painful break than draw out the agony."

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  • I'd prefer it if someone told me.

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  • yeah. better to hear about one affair then a few.

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  • If someone I trust, told me that, then I would be very thankful that they did. I mean, cheaters won't tell you they cheated, right? So, if you know something that they don't, why not speak up? In fact, in law cases, you can be arrested for that

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What Girls Said 4

  • Yeah I would so I could confront them on my terms and be sad about it by myself before getting mad when I finally confront them. And if want to do whatever snooping I could to see if it's true or not.

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  • Yes, I'd want to know about it, but only if they could provide me with proof rather than just an allegation. I want to be able to confront them knowing I'm in the right.

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  • Yes, I'd wanna know so I could dump the scumbag.

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  • Yes i would want to know the true qualities of the guy i'm consider ing spending my entire life with.

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