I unknowingly dated a man with a girlfriend for almost a year. I found out he had a girlfriend cause he got engaged and people were talking about it on social media. I confronted him and he admitted it. He said our "situation" started a few months after they started dating. He doesn't think he's hurt his SO. When I found out, I ended our situation and haven't contacted him since, even though he wanted to continue it. I know who his SO is because of social media. I've never met her or anything. We are strangers. I'm heavily leaning towards not telling her. I don't know her and she may not believe me and take it out on me. Also, I don't want to ruin anyone's life. But I also think I should tell her so she can make her choice about being with him and for her own health. If I were, I'd want to know. What would you do/have done? Would you believe me (there is proof)?
If I never find out and they stay loyal then I suppose ignorance is bliss.
However, if I'm going to find out, Id strongly prefer yo find out BEFORE I got engaged or moved in with them.
I'd believe it if there was proof. I might be skeptical if there wasn't. It would depend on who it is who tells me. Generally people don't lie unless it benifits them, so I'd just try to see if the person telling me would have any motivation to lie and breask us up. If I can't think of any then I'd believe them.
If you don't tell her she could end up catching an STF unknowingly because of his behavior. I highly doubt you'll be the last person he'd cheat on her with, and it's better for her to know now then for the rest of her life to be ruined because of him.
I would say something, she doesn't deserve to spend her life with a guy like that. She may not believe you, understandablly, but it is your responsibility to inform her. Its her choice what she does with that information. She is going to be hurt regardless, the sooner it is dealt with the sooner she can move on.
If someone I trust, told me that, then I would be very thankful that they did. I mean, cheaters won't tell you they cheated, right? So, if you know something that they don't, why not speak up? In fact, in law cases, you can be arrested for that