Hi everyone, I need some advice, I'm with my boyfriend 5 years (6years at Christmas) we have loved each other for years and been there for one another. He started working and became friends with a girl kelly* they text and WhatsApp A LOT, they work together go out to town and hang out get coffee etc. Now he didn't even tell me about her at all I found out by a friend he was in town with some girl so I did calmly ask him. If she texts his phone and I even look in that direction he'll hide the phone and be like ' how dare u try read my messages' if I ask him can I go town with him and her he's like what's the point where only going for coffee? He goes out more with her then he ever dose with me, if I'm talking about her or ask can I meet her he will fight with me for like 4 days , like he gets so angry he even said he would love to hit me to shut me up. He calls me selfish and says I only care about my feelings. Here's the funny part , he told me she's a lesbian. And he has met her girlfriend and all? even if she is a lesbian what is his deal? He never takes me out on nights out, I have never met his coworkers, he says things like I'm so annoying and I wreck his head , he using sarcasm and says hurtful things, uses silent treatment or withholds affection if I ' annoy him' or won't see me for a few days. He's actually not speaking to me right now, yesterday I spoke about his friend and asked where was she from? Just simple question , he started going crazy telling me to fuc off out of his house I sat there and cryed because I was so hurt, he didn't even notice then he said ' ah your only looking for attention ' so I just said okay I'm going to go home, and he just stared at me. I walked to the front door and he kissed my forehead? And said see you later. I'm so angry and confused and upset. I think I'm just never going to ask about his friend/'s ever again. Just carry on without thinking of it. Any advice guys? Thanks for reading x
Most Helpful Guy
Break up with him. Thats fucken horrible.
Clearly you love him but if he does things like that to you do you really think he loves you the way you think? He swears at you, puts you down, threatens to hurt you, choses another girl over you, takes a girl out more than you, shows another girl more attention than you.. etc.
There's obviously a reason he's trying to keep you's two away from each other. Straight up trust me, a relationship like this is so unhealthy and the longer you are in it the more you will hurt yourself.1
Most Helpful Girl
So... your boyfriend is basically an emotionally abusive asshole. His behavior is 100% NOT okay. I mean, it's one thing to have friends of the opposite sex, that's not a big deal. But to put those friends before your significant other? That's not cool. In my honest opinion, there's something going on between him and her. If there wasn't, then he wouldn't get so defensive about it and treat you so horribly just for asking questions about her. That's a major red flag. My advice would be to consider ending things. He obviously doesn't respect you or care about you that much if he says such terrible things to you and defends his relationship with this other girl so much.2