I'm a young, unmarried, single mom. That has many stereotypes and stigmas attached to it that seem to follow me in the dating world. It is assumed that I am desperate, looking for a meal ticket, trying to shove my child on some guy, easy, and irresponsible.
Honestly, I am actually pretty conservative which is why I am a single mom in the first place. I didn't choose to give up my child. I also am not fond of sex unless it is taken very slowly. I make good money and have a great job for my age. I'm a college graduate pursuing a graduate degree. I am told that I am very pretty. I tell guys from the beginning to go away if they don't intend on entering the lives of both my son and I. I cook well and cook at least once for every man I date.
However, they always end up leaving me because of either some last minute excuse or "I deserve better". I take both of these to be fillers for a real reason. The men then come back usually begging for sex (even if I never had sex with them).
I'm only 23 and considering just stopping and refusing to date and only considering courtship. This may mean I live alone which I prefer over being used. My main question is why am I being used though?
Most Helpful Guy
Being a single mom drives most men around your age away. Single moms have to be committed to her child; thus, the man will never be number one. Secondly, unless you were married before then had a divorce, it is irresponsible to have a child. The guy was a dumb ass for not using a condom, and you should have been on birth control as well. Anyway, I agree with one of answers below; you might have to find a man with a child himself or someone older or is ready for a starter family. It's true about your appearance; if it wasn't for the single mother thing, you would have a lot more offers because you are attractive.
To answer your main question, many men assume you will get desperate because of your situation. Thus, they assume that they will be able to take advantage of you.2
Most Helpful Girl
You are not on the low quality of the dating spectrum. It's just that there is a lot of negative stigma attached to women who are single mothers, which is completely unfair and stereotypical. But I know you have heard them as well.
However, you will hopefully find someone who doesn't have such crappy. judgmental opinions.0