Why is being "clingy" or "desperate" considered a bad thing in dating or a relationship? Don't people like to be loved and wanted?

I don't get how someone showing a lot of affection and adoration can be a turn off, instead of a turn on. Please explain.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • People don't want someone who doesn't let them breathe. Plus, imagine someone who you are not attracted in chasing you all the damn time. It's annoying isn't it?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • There needs to be some sort of medium. Relationships can be pretty difficult in some aspects because people within them seek two things which are contradictions. People seek closeness in relationships, while at the same time seeking isolation. When a person shows too much affection it is seen as being clingy and people don't like that because we all want our space so we can collect our own thoughts. However, if a person don't show enough affection or is too isolated then that leaves room for cheating or frequent arguing.

    Moral of the story, is that "Too much of something isn't always a good thing". You need to find that middle ground between being close and distant.

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What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 2

  • I think it has a lot to do with coming across as overbearing. Think about it this way. When someone calls you with a really good deal on a new phone, you may think about buying it. However, if the call you 10 times in one day, no matter how good a deal it is, your going to say no, and report them for harassment.

    No matter how much you like someone, if they are constantly in your business, even if it is to give affection and adoration, it's going to quickly become annoying.

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  • They want to be chosen by someone who has options. That's a self esteem boost. Someone who seems desperate seems like they have no options, which isn't flattering.

    Aside from that constantly needing to reassure them or babysit their feelings can be annoying.

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