Anxiety in a relationship?

My boyfriend & I just started working in the same building, but not for the same company. This scares the crap out of me. I worked with someone I was with before and the whole relationship turned ugly. So, I've been anxious all week & he's been grumpy because work & I flipped out. He was really good about it, but I need to chill out. What are some tips to calm anxiety, because I don't want to push him away, as he loves me because I'm a strong person, not some wuss who needs comforting.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, if it's any help. The anxiety will lessen if you feel like you have some control over the situation.

    My girlfriend and I have the same situation. We work in the same bldg, but for different companies. We also live together now and we met at work. We set some pretty basic guidelines, ...

    Work is for work, when we are at work , she might as well be on the other side of the planet. If we happen to run into each other we might chat for a minute or two but we don't go out of our way to talk to one another.

    We don't hide our relationship, most everyone there knows we are together, but we don't publicize it either.

    We don't commute together or coordinate our work times, we just do what we need to do and coordinate our off time together.

    Work is for work, not for our relationship.

    • Thanks!

      I guess it bothers me because for the first week a lot of people made a big deal & then he's been kind of distant since I started. So I freaked out. But I decided to give him space to blow off steam & chances are it'll be okay.

    • So it sounds like you are more concerned by his reaction than by actually being in the same bldg. If that's the case the yeah, allowing him a little time to see things haven't really changed much is a good way to go. Where I'm at it seems pretty acceptable for people to date within the company , nobody thinks anything about it at all and in the 5 years I've been there I've never seen anyone have any real problems that leaked over into the workplace so I really don't see it as a big deal. But some people don't like to cross that boundary and then when people around you start harping about it , it ups the stress level in ways that just aren't beneficial, so those people around you guys just need to stfu and act like adults. Showing confidence in what you are doing will show you don't feel threatened and help your guy along. If he was on here I'd tell him the same thing... except I'd replace the word guy with gal.

    • I don't do change well. I'm a very easily stressed person. No matter what, I would have gotten upset. But now I feel like my being emotional all week has damaged things. I also overthink. I'm pretty much a pressure cooker lol.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Breath maybe do some yoga (I know that sounds lame but it makes you aware of your breathing and tones you). Know that this guy isn't the loser you dated before and just because he is now working in your building nothing has changed. Maybe you guys can ride together to work which is a positive.

    Worst case scenario if hints don't work out you see him rarely in the elevator. You can modify your schedule by as little as 15 minutes so that doesn't happen.

    You're making too big a deal of it and that is the real threat to your relationship. I'd be totally heartbroken of somehow I ended up working in the same building as my boyfriend and he freaked out. To me it would indicate he doesn't see a future together which, at your age and being in love, you should. I hope this helps. Best

    • I explained it's because I don't want our relationship to become just about work. And that we neglect our time together because of work. Like, we see each other several times a day, as its one big building. I work in the back. He works in the front. And I know I'm making a big deal about it, but I don't want us to lose the good place we're in. Does that make sense?

What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think anxiety can be calmed by having a conversation about this, about how each of you is planning to behave towards the other when you see each other at work, and what you guys expect and don't expect from each other. When you state things from the start, it's less likely that uncomfortable surprises will occur.

    Actually, I'm telling you this because of a smilar situation that happened to me with a boyfriend at college. But what is it that specifically worries about about working near him? How he will behave around you or what?

    • I just worry that we'll neglect the relationship because "I saw you at work." Or we'll feel always on top of each other, or worse, if this prompted a breakup. I get spooked in relationships easily, so any change freaks me out.

    • Well then I think it'd be a good idea for you to communicate this to him, so that you guys can find a way to make this comfortable for both.