Am I the only one who doesn't want to get married?

The idea sounds great.. Graduate college.. Fall in love.. Move out together get married have kids. But it's becoming less and less popular for a reason today. I literally see no benefit in marriage. Long term serious relationships of course but marriage.. No thank you.

  • Agree
    46% (24)57% (28)51% (52)Vote
  • Disagree
    54% (28)43% (21)49% (49)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Marriage was never meant for love it's for survival. My ex and my grandmother inadvertently taught me that. My ex's mom has been remarried 3 times. I'm not gonna go into too much detail but I will tell the story of the first time I met most of my exes family. It was Christmas. I was suppose to meet my ex's mom and brothers. Instead I met them plus her mom's fiancé, her ex step dad, my ex's dad's ex-wife and thier son, with a few short and abrasive phone calls from her dad. Long story short lots of anger, yelling, sadness, and fake smiles and bad jokes aimed at me to cut the tension. Add in the fact that we were an interracial couple which was a first for everyone their, in Alabama. Yeah it was... energetic. Everyone expected all of that to bother me but it didn't. Because to me it was just part of being a family. I was more shocked that this was a family that had unresolved issues from months, sometimes years, ago. Which leads me to my grandma.

    My grandmother was placed in a mental health institution due to schizophrenia and Alzheimer's. She died when I was 4 so I can't really remember anything about her. But I know my grandfather stayed married to her through it all and went on to continue raising their 10 kids. So that was proof to me that the right two people together can make almost anything work. My grandfather had cancer about 5 years ago and ever since then at least one of my aunts and uncles or my mom has been at his house taking care of him. The reason my exes Christmas was so easy for me is because my mom's family christmases had 50+ people in one house every year. There's more people at my grandpas house to watch "scandal" on Tuesday's than there was at that Christmas. Most of my family that is of age for marriage is married and very few have been divorced. And that numbers just going up. My family doesn't treat marriage like a Disney story. It's more like signing up for the army. Family is suppose to come with the benefits of safety, assistance, love, etc. and marriage used to be about the extension and maintainence of family. Think back to Native tribes, noble houses, the freakin mob for Christ sakes. They were large extended families. The rothschilds, the Rockefellers, the Waltons, all families. Having a large permanent dependable network of support is essential for getting a leg up in a world that's built off of loose corporate contracts. And marriage is the delicate but necessary staple to keep things going. And a bad marriage will kill it

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You have to pay less taxes if you get married but that's all. Unless you want children, marriage isn't really that important in my opinion.

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What Guys Said 15

  • Ah, I was young once. Up until I was about 24, I said screw the whole notion of marriage. I'd become a single father by adopting.

    But then I met a girl who fell madly in love with. And that's when I reconsidered marriage. Unfortunately, it didn't work out with her but if I can find someone again who makes me feel like I did with my ex, I would have no issues getting married.

    If you can find someone who you can hang out with as a friend but have that romantic relationship with, I think you'll change your mind.

    There are obviously pros and cons to being single, being in a relationship, and being married. I won't list them because they're pretty obvious and you can find that answer on the internet.

    Keep in mind, you don't have to get married if you love someone. Plenty of people stay in relationships without having the marriage tag involved. So consider that if you ever find a guy.

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  • We met in college, started dating at the uni, got living together as much as possible once we had our uni degree, married 2 years later, waited another 5 years to buy a house and make a child. We've been happy with each other ever since we met.
    The marriage was quite expensive because the IRS here added our incomes, with only a minimal deduction for marriage , bringing us in a higher tax scale.

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  • you probably just haven't experienced a love strong enough yet
    dont close yourself off to the idea, but dont become obsessed with marriage either

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10257-syra-my-heart-i-give-to-you-till-the-very-end

    i thought this mytake was pretty relevant after reading your question...
    its not about the benefits or cons of getting married, its about your love for someone :) and making it eternal

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  • I completely agree with you. There is no reason for marriage. It's nothing but a piece of paper. You can spend your life with someone if you want to, no need for the paper.

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  • i just don't think their are enough women worth committing to now. marriage is for the benefit of women and children anyways.

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  • Yeah, you don't need to be married in order to be in a long-term committed sexually exclusive relationship. Additional expensive paperwork.

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  • "Long term serious relationships of course but marriage.. No thank you."

    Where do I find women like you?

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  • Well, cohabiting and marriage life is the exact same thing. So, if you think you would live with your one boyfriend for the rest of your life, all you're opposed is the legalities marriage brings.

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  • Yes! Someone who understands! Screw kids and marriage, hello free time to do whatever I want!

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  • In the US, the reason is taxes, provided the two partners have income inequality.

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  • I just want a girlfriend.

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  • Yah I don't wanna get married either

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  • Marrying for love, is a relatively new idea. People used to only get married because of money. Love is a new idea, to get married

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  • i don't think you understand what marriage is truly about. maybe you don't like the commitment part of marriage which shows a lack of maturity.

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    • No. I just see that society has systemically rigged against two people staying faithful and together for the rest of their lives.

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    • @Asker, how is society "rigged?" Are couples forcefully separated by a SWAT team at the five year mark? We're talking about a commitment made by two people to each other. If they can't keep that commitment, it's on them, not some nebulous outside force.

    • @KHaskins The real question is why legal binding is required for said commitment between TWO PEOPLE to EACH OTHER. Marriage feels like you are actually committing to your local government.

  • Do you want to be a career woman?

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    • Yeah but it's not just that. Society is pretty much systematically rigged agains't two people staying together for the rest of their lives.

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    • Those marriages worked well back then.. not today.

    • lol oh you mean they don't make em like they used to?

What Girls Said 8

  • I think marriage is necessary only if children are involved. The concept of marriage gives a child much more security. Other than that, I don’t see the need for fancy weddings and rings. If I’m going to be faithful and loving, then I will do that, married or not.

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    • Yes, my parents' marriage certainly secured them maintaining a completely dysfunctional household governed by verbal abuse for multiple years...

      I was happy to see my parents divorce when I was 17.

    • Well not every marriage is like that, and certainly not every parent acts that way. Ok, maybe you were raised in a family where verbal abuse was a regular. I was raised in a family where cursing, lying and another set of things were strictly prohibited. Even now, at 19, I’m afraid to use curse words in front of my father. And about the dysfunctional part, I’m just going to quote Mary Karr, who said “A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.” , which is true. There is no such thing as a perfect family.

  • i would like to get married if i have a long term relationship with someone. but that doesn't seem to be the case.. I would be okay without getting married if I never find someone.

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  • I believe that marriage is basically useless, but I want to be married with the person I love because I want to make a fabulous after-wedding party. B|

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  • I sometimes feel the same. Sometimes though Im like getting married isn't bad but most of the time I'm like meh

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  • I would get married if I find the right person but the chances of that happening are probably slim. I'm perfectly fine with staying single as well.

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  • I agree completely. It's just a stereotype, I don't see any use of marriage

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  • Well in that scenario, yea but marriage is a tradition and religious thing in my country.

    So all is well here regarding marriage.

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  • I personally don't have a desire to have kids of my own (for a variety of reasons) - but I do still find interest in getting married. In no way am I in a hurry to get married, but I have always felt like I wanted a husband. I see it as a partnership... Committing to 'do life' together. I think it's a really nice and beautiful kind of relationship to have and one that I still see value in even without kids in the picture.

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