Do you think sleeping on the first date is good or bad?

For the first time ever I recently slept with a girl on the first date and it now feels like I can never go back to, lets wait until the 3rd date or just a kiss on the first date. The truth is that you know if you want to sleep together within the first 10min of the first date. I feel so much closer to this woman so much sooner than all my other previous dates and it just feels so much more natural. I mean I'm going on a date to test drive this person so to speak. So if we really click why not test drive how sexually compatible we are?

  • Have done it, good idea
    6% (4)15% (8)10% (12)Vote
  • Have done it, bad idea
    13% (8)13% (7)13% (15)Vote
  • Have never done it, would do it
    11% (7)27% (14)18% (21)Vote
  • Have never done it and don't plan on ever doing it
    63% (40)31% (16)49% (56)Vote
  • See results
    7% (4)14% (7)10% (11)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Just an update. This girl and I had our second date last weekend and it went extremely well (the best date I've ever been on). We're seeing each other this upcoming weekend as well. By the looks of it we're going to end up in a relationship :).

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't consider it good or bad, it's just up to the people involved and how they want to go about it.

    Personally, I'm not comfortable sleeping with someone on the first date. I can be very attracted to a guy, and we can click perfectly, but if the level of trust, familiarity, and care isn't established yet, which it can't really be on the first date if we've just met, since those things take time, then it feels too soon to be that intimate with the person. I wouldn't feel ready to take part in it no matter how much I like the guy.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Generally girls lie about their past but realistically Id say like most girls have had sex on the first date before. So if a girl was making me wait a month I'd just feel like I wasn't as attractive as the guys who she slept with sooner. Id wonder "why was she so excited to sleep with that guy she met at the club and for me i have to wait a month?"

    So I'd prefer sooner rather than later. I'd want to make sure she's clean of stds first so maybe within the first week of dating would be ideal for me.

    The guys they sleep with right away are the guys they are excited to have sex with. The guys who have to wait months are the ones they are only kinda attracted to.

    Id prefer to be in the group of guys who she was MOST excited to sleep with.

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    • Excellent response.

    • True that man! I've notice this girl treat me wayyyy better than the previous girls I've been with as well. I guess they weren't as excited to be with me as she is.

What Girls Said 9

  • It's not something I'd do, but I think everyone has the right to establish what's 'right' or 'wrong' for their own particular situation.

    If you want to have sex on the first date, go ahead. Whatever floats your boat. However, do know that doing that will establish the vibe of the relationship from the go. Sure it can change, go back and forth between focused on sexual needs to more emotional but sex on the first date or early on does send a message that the physical is important. In some cases, that may be all the other came to get, hence why so many girls tend to withhold sex till they know they've 'got the guy' in more way than just that one. To weed out those with the 'fuck & chuck' mindset.

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  • Pretty safe to say I will never sleep with someone on the first date.

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    • I thought the same and well yea, when you find someone that you really click with that all goes out the window

    • No, pretty sure it's easy to control yourself.

  • I slept with a guy on the first date, but I think you should base whether you are gonna sleep with someone on if you're both ready. Maybe she's ready to fuck on the first date, that's fine; but it should also be okay if she's not. Never push/force a girl to have sex, whether you've been on 1 date or 4.

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  • My boyfriend and i got pretty close to doing it the first night, we had known each other for years so there was lots of tension, he ended up stopping it before it happened though because he wanted to make me feel like he wanted me for more than just sex.
    Which was good because i probably wouldn't be with him if we would have had sex..

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  • Have never done it, would consider it but probably wouldn't actually do it.

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  • nope.. I'd never do that

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  • I clicked "have done it good idea" but really only mean "have done it", a couple times, For me, It has proven to be both good and bad ideas.

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  • I wouldn't ever do it. It takes more than a date to get to know someone and establish an emotional connection with them. I've never had sex but I would imagine that you are extremely vulnerable. I'd have to really trust and be comfortable with someone before having sex with them and I don't think a few hours is enough time to do so.

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    • Oh and I don't think having sex on the first date is necessarily a bad think but it's something I don't think I will ever understand.

  • Easy come, easy go.

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What Guys Said 19

  • I think it is neither good or bad. What matters is where you both stand on the issue and whether you both don't want anything more. It would be kind of unfair to pressure the girl (presumably) into early sex in return for promises for a relationship when in reality it's never gonna happen and you're just gonna string her along.

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    • I never pressured her into anything, she's the one that invited me over, she's the one that suggested I sleep over, she's the one that took me to her bed. Believe it or not, women are just as horny as guys, it's just seen as slutty if they portray it.

  • I don't advise it but it can work out. It all depends on the persons doing it.

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  • Well there was a mytake where a girl slept with a guy at her office on the first date and got labelled the office slut in 24 hrs. I think people should gauge the person better before the willingly share themselves with someone they barely know.

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    • That"s interesting because you would think they already knew each other really well given they work together.

    • @Anniroc She slept with him within a week I believe of working there. She just started.

    • Ok that is more understandable... I was thinking of the scenario where you got to know them over a couple of years working there - you can spend a lot of time with work colleagues.

  • I slept with a girl on the first date, end up being one of my best relationships.

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  • ehhh i wouldn't commit long term to a women like that in the past or present.

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    • And this is why I think it is a bad idea...

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    • So are you.

    • @Anniroc yeah but im a guy. lock and key analogy. also women have never had a problem with my number it matters less to them not in theory but in practice.

  • Bad idea... WHO AM I TRUSTING MY BODY TO?

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  • I've slept together on the first date.

    I've also had sex on the first date.

    If you're actually compatible, this shouldn't affect how things go afterwards.

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    • I agree but how do you know on the first date if you are compatible?

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    • No I meant do you feel like you have invested more when you have slept with them therefore the disappointment is bigger.

    • @Anniroc I'd be pragmatic. Chalk it up to experience and be glad that I'd at least gotten some fun and companionship out of it.

  • Usually its bad... actually most of the times it is.. if your curious to know exsctly why - just ask and ill explain

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    • You have my curiosity sir.

  • It's not good or bad, it depends on the two people.

    It's not something I would ever do and but that's just me.

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  • I would not count a girl out because of it... obviously the sexual chemistry is good so why not see if the rest compares?

    It is pretty short sighted if you don't try!

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  • After wedding only.

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  • Its hard to have sex on the very first date for me. I need to know her a little before unzipping myself and waving my tool before her.

    No matter how excited I am, I am not in it.

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  • It's not necessarily a bad thing. If she acts cool and you guys have the same chemistry afterwards you might be on to something. If there's a weird vibe next time you see her it's all fucked, move on.

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  • Why is there even an unwritten rule for this? Have sex on the first date if you feel you're ready, don't do it if you don't feel you're ready. It's as simple as it gets.

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  • It's not a good idea to randomly fall asleep during your first date

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  • "Do you think sleeping on the first date is good or bad?" Bad idea. You will find out more about the girl if you stay awake.

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  • What others do is none of my business as long as it's not affecting me (and I hope no one else) but I personally wouldn't do it, even for a quick lay. I'm over the wham, bam, thank you ma'am days and would rather try to build a relationship. I met a girl online, got to know her for months and eventually met her in another state. We hit it off and had sex. The sex complicated things and now we don't talk to each other anymore. So While it wasn't a first date (we saw each other for 4 days), it still was too soon even though we were really into each other.

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    • Maybe you two just weren't that compatible? The girl that I slept with I met online as well. We were flirting like crazy from the very beginning. After a week of talking we agreed to meet and the next weekend (last weekend) we met and hit it off amazingly well and ended up sleeping with each other. We've been talking constantly since then and we're meeting again this weekend, which I can't wait for. It feels like having sex with her jumpstarted our "relationship" by almost a month.

  • If she wants to then yes if not then well if i dont get it by the first 2 months i am moving on

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  • It's not something I would do. I dont think its a big deal to sleep or not sleep with them on the first.

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    • Basically it's a matter of preference I think. I don't think it's gonna hurt anything if both are fine sleeping together on the first date.

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