Why does this really outgoing, dominant, impulsive older guy like me? (I am much younger and less talkative than other girls my age) ?

He's really dominant, talkative and outgoing and he's in his 40s.
I'm 18 years old, very shy, gentle, affectionate, quiet, introverted, and sometimes demonstrate submissive behaviour like looking away and giggling when he catches me staring at him OR when he strokes my hands and my face.

I am - not - 'weak' or scared to speak my mind, but I only talk when I have something IMPORTANT to say. E. g I love philosophical and political discussions instead of trivial small talk.
He tells me I am beautiful and I am certain that he really likes me.

Why does he go for me instead of the other girls and woman around me that are more outgoing?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He sees you as an easy prey. There is only one thing he wants from you. Some guys are REALLY good at finding the "weak or wounded" and capitalizing on those weaknesses to get what we want from a girl.

    I am only going to say this once. There is nothing good to come of this. He will only use you for sex and brag to his friends about this conquest. Even though you are 18 it is merely a legal way for him to be a pedophile.

    There is something wrong with him that won't allow him to seek out women his own age. Probably because he is a complete loser and older, more confident and experience women can see this immediately.

    If I were your Father and knew this, I'd put this man in the hospital

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    • Just curious, how can he sense I am weak and wounded? Even though I say I am not weak, I am a very emotional, sensitive and wounded girl. But I obviously don't introduce myself like this to him.

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    • We (predators) can sense these things in women (prey). Given age and experience we get better at it. I can walk into any bar and immediately spot, with a good degree of accuracy, girls with Daddy issues, princess complexes or any other insecurity or emotional issues. Just the fact that you let him close, flirt, touch you sends the signal that he has the opportunity to get what he wants. Now all he has to do is figure out what he has to do to convince you to let it happen.

      I am sure it feels good to have his attention. I am sure he makes you feel special. I am sure he seems sincere and honest. I assure you he is not. Is there a 1% chance he may be something special? Sure I can't lie about that. But 99% of the time guys like this are only out to fuck you and have you as a play toy or trophy. It is not love, it is not protection, it is nothing more than a conquest.

    • Now I can see how he sensed it... I looked down, would be in the corner of the room, have a very soft, girly innocent voice and would look away and giggle whenever he touched me (which I allowed him to). It probably indicated "daddy issues" since he is so old. I mean, I love older men, and I think he gets that because I never pay attention to younger men..

Most Helpful Girl

  • Um a guy that old only wants you for sexual reasons, BELIEVE me. When he approached you, which he probably did because thats how you got in a relationship (because I doubt you approached a middle-aged man because you were intrigued) , he wasn't thinking any thoughts like "I wanna get to know this girl and be friends with her!". A man who's 50 years old doesn't just approach an 18 year old girl without dirty thoughts. He wants to take advantage of you. And if you're fine with being trophy wife... ok..

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    • yea he did approach me.

What Guys Said 19

  • He 'probably' wants to take advantage of you, and it's up to you to let him do that or not.

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    • Someone said that, but what exactly does "take advantage" mean in this context (most likely)?

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    • @PeachSunset Says the 15 year old. XD Bit of a ridiculous statement isn't it?

    • hmmmmmmm😁😂.
      @Krillanr

  • "Does he see me as vulnerable?"
    More vulnerable than women closer to his age.
    "He's really dominant"
    Nuff said.

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  • You're young and probably physically attractive. That's why he's interested.

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  • It's nice to date someone as old as your parents huh?

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  • Woah... wow my goodness young lady

    Im worried about your reasoning and judgment skills... like big time

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    • I haven't made a judgment of any type? I love older men, I admit, but I still haven't allowed one to kiss me or get with me. This includes this man.

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    • I am sorry but this is a complete fantasy. Someone who is twice your age has nothing in common with you. He will not treat you like a lady or princess. He will treat you like a sex slave. When things get too complicated he will move on to the next young girl. I have seen this many times. If you were 35 and he is 55 I'd say go for it because you have had time and experience to mature. In this case he is a hungry lion and you are a young gazelle who doesn't know the lion wants to eat you.

      Don't let your insecurities and self esteem cloud good judgment.

    • @AmericanPoet thank you so much. Your insight has been great help to me and has cleared my mind.

  • 40 - 18 = 22. Please find the 22.

    If he's taking you as a friend, never let him touch cus you will regret it.

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  • I get it, he likes to be able to control people, a quiet young, cute girl will let him run the rerelationship.
    He probably wants to "take care of you" (makes him feel important)
    He is old so he probably wants to prove something to himself as well.

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  • He definitely see your feminine virtues and as long as he respects you, i think its fine
    BUT his priorities for a relationship might differ from yours do to the huge age difference

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  • "He's really dominant, talkative and outgoing and he's in his 40s.
    I'm 18 years old,"
    Nuff said.

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  • Go for it good luck

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    • you didn't answer my Q lol

    • Have you ever heard opposites attract? Also you could so be his type of girl as far as the looks go.

  • That's really bad

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  • Maybe he doesn't like such loud women. Many of the traits you mentioned are very attractive traits.

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  • he wants to have sex with you for sure. It's up to you how you respond

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  • out of interest how old were you when he had an interest in you also when he started touching you?

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    • when I was 17, just before I turned 18 this year

    • the guys an official child predator

  • It can work.

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  • What he is 49 and and you are 18 ? I recommend you don't go in relationship. Treat him like your father.

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  • Daddy issues galore

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    • Actually, no.

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    • Whatever you wish to believe.

    • Just sayin'

  • ye he can sense that ur vulnerable and easy target lol

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    • how can men sense I'm vulnerable?

  • How did you even meet him in the first place? Guys his age shouldn't be hanging out at places that teenagers hang out at to find dates...

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    • church

    • Be careful honey, you never know what his motives are. And although it's the same with younger men it's more suspicious in an older one. Keep your distance until you know for sure, and good luck.

    • I think I will just keep my distance from him forever... I don't trust him enough.

What Girls Said 10

  • It sounds like he sees you as an opportunity. Be careful girl, doesn't sound so good from here. How long have you known him?

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  • He thinks you're an easy target.
    Move on - to someone who isn't only after using you.

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  • We've already told you to avoid this guy at least twice before :/

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  • Most likely trying to take advantage of you.

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  • Well, This guy is very outgoing and he acts shy around me. (Check my recent question to see how reacts when he sees me), maybe he likes the OPPOSITE personality or thinks your very intelligent and kind. Or maybe even pretty. That's what I want to figure out also...

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  • I don't think it will be a good idea, but it's your life. you choose what to do with it and if you choose him, them I'm truly happy for you. :)

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  • girl you are OUT of your mind

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  • Because you are young and probably very attractive.

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  • ummmmmmmmmmmmmm, ummmm

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  • Girl when you are 30 he will be 60. That's nasty.

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    • I don't intend on getting with him or anything. I am certain his intentions aren't for a long term relationship.

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