Women date up, men date down - How often is this true?

The question says it all. It's a common belief that women tend to date men who are 'above' them in general, whereas men prefer dating women who are 'below' them. Well, not exactly 'above' and 'below', but I don't know how else to put it here.

So is this actually a 'norm', which very few people tend to break? Because in my personal experience, this has indeed been true most cases.

  • Usually true
    17% (4)74% (23)50% (27)Vote
  • Usually not true
    83% (19)26% (8)50% (27)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd like to tweak that statement...
    Men generally prefer equal or lower
    Women generally prefer equal or higher

    I do think this is true but with a fair amount of exceptions. :) This trend probably has a lot to do with what is instinctual to both sexes when it comes to attraction. Women want providers, men want feminine.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The whole premise is bullshit. "Up" and "down" or whatever are all matters of perspective. It's too subjective to be considered anything other than opinions.

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    • I know that as a premise and belief, it's crappy. But then, why do we see this happen so often around us?

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    • I just don't think any of that matters. It's superficial. Dating down is dating someone who doesn't make you happy because you're afraid of being alone. That I see everywhere.

    • Agreed totally!

What Girls Said 9

  • Wow I don't know if you guys noticed but all the girls voted no and all the guys voted yes :D I would actually say it depends on the age group. More girls in high school date under them but once they're older tend to try and aim higher. A trend I've noticed in guys is that at first (ie high school) they tend to only look at the appearance so they try to date as high as possible, but as they mature they realize that other things are more important and looks are no longer a priority.

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    • Somewhat agreeing with you here. I've always been attracted to older, successful men, but was too young of course in high school. So I dated a few bummy guys who ended up living with me, cheating, and being absolute sleeze-balls. And the one much older guy I did fall for who was independent and took care of himself also happened to be a junkie at the time. 21 and 2nd year in college, I still prefer men who don't care much about their appearance but they have high esteem, are sure of themselves and take care of themselves. Basically, I think it's an age thing, too.

  • I can't really say about other women since I don't know every women in the world.

    When ever i dated guys I never really paid attention to that. Though I guess looking back most of the guys i dated either had the same looks as me or a little down. Until I met my current boyfriend which I think he's 10 times hotter than me, lol. Though personality wise we are on the same level. He's just more logical than I am. :D

    Age wise I've noticed I get along better with guys that are a little bit younger than me.

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  • Usually the opposite.
    If you mean social standing, this might be somewhat true.
    If you mean looks - then that's completely untrue.

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    • That's only because women care more about social standing than what a person looks like, though.

      And they only care about that because they want to feel powerful themselves, so they leech off of someone who is more powerful than them~

  • Totally the opposite? A guy never even realised when a woman is too beautiful for him lol
    Men go for beauty, women go for power. On average.

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  • Hooking up wise, you are right.

    Relationship wise, it's the opposite.
    From what I've seen at least

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    • No way. That's the biggest lie ever. Relationship wise, their standards aren't as high as compared to hooking up wise but it's still more shallower than men's.

  • i'm dating down

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  • Depends on what you mean by above and below? Looks, age, intelligence, economic class?

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  • I am dating down

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  • I just couldn't find a good looking guy who spoke 4+ languages and had a PhD degree in a STEM major... Who was also very funny, extremely well read and well travelled. Cuz that would be me dating up... You know...

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What Guys Said 10

  • Great question! I'm one of the few that goes for what I perceive as my equal. This causes loads of problems though because I'm an independent and career driven guy and I'm attracted to the same type of girl, but our personality types make meeting eachother nearly impossible due to us being busy all the time. Because of this I have had to "date down" but it doesn't work. I'm not satisfied with someone that's not on my level.

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  • Women tend to hookup with guys who are out of their league in regards to looks and status.

    Men tend to hookup below their league but marry/date girls better looking than they are but who make less money.

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  • Depends on what you're talking about. Men tend to go for women that are above in terms of looks, but below when it comes to job, accomplishments and all that. Women tend to do the opposite.

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  • I date down always :(
    haven't met a girl who, can offer as much as me all round, the few i have usually date up, so i have no choice but to date down, its so hard to find a girl who's single and on my level

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    • That's bad! People should be able to date equally, but usually it won't work that way.

    • people will choose to go after the person who can offer them most.
      its true for everyone.
      but what differs is what people value...

  • Yeah, since women are more shallow than men. The only time women sacrifice when it comes to a man's looks is if he's rich. But that's also dating up in my opinion.

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  • I don't think it's true. My last relationship I dated up and I feel lucky she even gave me a shot.

    But overall I'll pursue a woman I think is awesome. I don't think of it as dating up or dating down.

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  • This is probably true when it comes to social status. Most men aren't looking for a woman with more "power" than him

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  • What an interesting question. The results are also interesting. Notice how most guys think this is true, compared to most girls who think this isn't true.

    The "above" and "below" theory is something I agree with and practice.

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  • Women absolutely date up in terms of power, social status and money. they also get with someone who's just as attractive as themselves too

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  • Women do indeed "date up" in terms of social status and power. There is no question about that.

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