My love story... do I have a chance?

So there is a group of friends I became a part of a year ago, lots of guys, lots of girls. Now there was this one girl that I ended up really liking so I asked my guy friends for advice. Turned out these guy friends were complete idiots and gave me terrible advice, and I ended up coming off as a jerk who didn't have any respect at all, always being mean to her and saying terrible things because my friends said it would work. Well, that obviously didn't go well.

She ended up getting really mad at me and we didn't talk for a few months. Over the course of time, I ended up having a crush on ANOTHER girl in the same group. This stayed for few months and I slowly became friends with the first girl again. (let's call her A) Something came up and there was this huge drama that happened, and I ended up getting rejected by the second girl too (call her B now.)

I didn't have any romantic feelings for anyone for a while after that. B never spoke to me again, while I became really close with A. And the thing is, I've started to really admire A again, and now that I'm actually who I am, not some bad boy because "girls like bad boys," I just feel like I've lost every chance because I will always be known as, pardon my french, an asshole in her eyes.

I really do regret that because the way I acted while I was trying to impress her back then was the complete opposite of who I actually am. No, I do not make fun of people's flaws constantly. No, I do not obnoxiously insult her at every opportunity.

It sucks knowing that I probably have shattered all chances with this kind and beautiful person who is just pure joy to be around, one who I genuinely can relate to and am close friends with now because of how badly I acted my first time around.

So... to girls, what would you think if you were A?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would just like for you to be honest with me, if I were her. Tell her everything. How you had a crush on her, that you got absolutely terrible advice, that it's not who you really are, that you're sorry for acting like an ass and that you're now being your true self. It might take her a while to warm up to you still, but being completely honest with her will most likely help her regain some trust for you. Babysteps.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Somehow let her know, that when it comes to romance, you try to control yourself, you become defensive you say harsh word, and act like a contract freak, it's normal for people especially girls who aren't Confident.. She might understand and send her this link
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eyShGmUx4Rg
    Might help it..

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What Girls Said 3

  • If I were A, I would not know about that lengthy heartfelt acknowledgement about yourself as you have so nicely done, and my opinion of you would change for the better if I knew why you once were a jerk, and how you've grown from that experience.

    Essentially, talk to A and let her know, sincerely, the things that went through your mind. Omit the part about girl B if you don't feel comfortable talking about that. She'll be likely to see you in a new, good, light.

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  • To be honest first impressions count a lot but if somehow we ended up communicating more in the end ignoring the asshole-ness part. A person is a person, we all f up some way but what you showed to A there was obvoiusly two sides to you. Do you honestly think you dont have a chance with A?
    wouldn't you wanna come out to A and say hey you remember that day I first talked to you... I was a jerk... and etc. Just be honest about it she'll see a different side to you for not only talking about it but the honesty behind it as well. You don't have to lose her maybe she'll see you more in the friendship light but at least you have something off your chest that may tip the scales. Chances are if both of you hung out as solo and tell her the honesty she'll be shocked so don't knock it down unless you really see for yourself.

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  • You should tell her what happened and apologize! I think, if she really knows you, she´ll understand that your past behavior was a way of capturing her attention but you totally messed up, and that you are not that kind of guy. Don´t think that just because she now thinks you are an asshole, you can´t change her mind.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You asked for opinions from girls but I feel compelled to offer an opinion. Something that most people don't hear often enough in relationships is sincere apologies. "I was wrong, I know it, I wish I could do it over but I can't. Can you please forgive me?" If she is as wonderful as you think she is, she should have some forgiveness in her soul. If you don't give this a shot now, you will regret it for the rest of your life.

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