How important is sex in a relationship for you?

[Anonymous]

Do u appsolutally need/want sex in your boyfriend girlfriend relationship?

1. Yes very much so

2. No but it would be nice

3. No, rather wait

[Elena_the_Star]

Well it becomes important after the infatuation fades out if you can hold out that long. I am a virgin so I'll make the guy wait for a year or at the least 6-8 month before I lose it because I want it to be with somebody who I know is in it with me for love not sex and someone I have a long term relationship potential with. After that I will gradually reduce the time interval before we have sex, like for the second guy it might be 8 months, then for the third it might be 6 but it won't go down after 2 months minimum. Its actually easier to abstain from sex when you're virgin then when you have had sex and know how awesome it is, thats what I have heard.

[Asker]

I'm a virgin 16 year old too! And yeah I would wait for a period of time! But for the most part I am going to try to wait for marriage

[kaylaS91]

Very important.
Not that I don't love spending time with my boyfriend outside of the bedroom. Whether it's playing badminton together, grabbing sushi, or just chatting and him being all cute. A night of cuddling can be just as enjoyable as a night of sex, but without the sex, how would we differ from just being best friends?

[Asker]

ok ok but what would u say if someone wanted to wait till there married for sex?

[kaylaS91]

I answered your question but yeah, it depends on your priorities. Of course you're still 'dating' even though remaining chaste. Just for myself, who happens to not wish to wait for marriage, there would be no point in dating someone if there was no sexual activity between us. As in... since there's nothing I'd be really waiting for with that, a boyfriend with whom I'm not intimate would be more or less the same in my books as a close male friend. If that makes sense?

[Asker]

yea kinda

[TenderFantasy]

Just listen to this and everything will be okay...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4ueaD22hg8

[Prettygurl12]

Sex is the most important. Which is why I save it for my husband.

[Prilee1992]

What if you found you both NOT SEXUALLY COMPATIBLE on the first night of marriage? That sounds disastrous for me. People only buy after testing the products, that's the general rule.

I don't care about ''sex before marriage'' thingy. That's just basically saying ''she acts upon societal conditiong not through her internal feelings.''

I'm not going to be with someone who's uptight, not following her heart.

[Asker]

well I think that u shouldn't love someone for if they can give u great sex.. I think u should love them for who they r

[TenderFantasy]

"What if you found you both NOT SEXUALLY COMPATIBLE on the first night of marriage? "

More often than not, there will be cock blockers to your relationship... (kids, parents, work, other things that are daily things), can you get along with them OUTSIDE the bedroom? That's one good indicator of a successful relationship not whehter she can make you c u m in the best way possible!

[Asker]

@TenderFantasy ur right

[Xelebrum]

At some point, yes. If my girlfriend wanted to wait until marriage to have sex, then I would be willing to wait. But if my girlfriend never wanted to have sex at any point in time, I would leave her.

[Asker]

true true.. glade u would what for her if she wanted to wait till marriage

[Asker]

Wait* not what.. sry lol

[AleDeEurope]

Very important, I couldn't wait too long for that. I want to believe I'd wait for the right girl, but if she wants to wait like 3 months for example, then she's not the right girl for me.
A relationship without sex can't work, at least not with me.

[Asker]

ok but what if u met the right one and she has the thought of waiting till she is married for sex?

[AleDeEurope]

Then she's not the right one for me, as much as I like the rest of her.

[Asker]

really... hmm. I think if u truly love someone than u would also respect there decision and be able to wait for them

[Asker]

but that's me.. u r free to think ur own thoughts. u r free to ur own opinion

[AleDeEurope]

Yeah, but I won't reach the level of "love" if I haven't experienced that intimacy and bond of sex.
I don't believe in love though.

[Asker]

Y don't u believe in love?

[AleDeEurope]

Cause I've seen too many examples of people saying "I love you" before they did something that hurt their partner and clearly showed signs of no love, like cheating, hitting them, lying, stripping them of their money...
Unless I actually experience something like how love is described, I won't believe it.

[Asker]

I fucking hate people that do that

[Asker]

opps did I say that.. lol

[AleDeEurope]

I hate those people too, and something similar happened in my family, with my uncle and his ex wife, so that really affected my view on "love"

[Asker]

wow... ok

[Asker]

that's cool

[Asker]

u can have ur own thoughts about it. I don't judge

[AleDeEurope]

Cool, thanks. Same here, I won't judge. You do you ;)

[Asker]

awesome.. :D

[Eric644]

yes, but the guy can turn the love argument against you and say "if you love me, you will have sex with me". I think it is unfair for both, if the guy wants to have sex and is not religious, it is unfair to put him through a sexless relationship, since he does not put the same value in virginity as an uptight religious person would, and that would be frustrating for both of you. The whole abstinent thing in my mind is just a segment of society shaming people TBH. You have a right to believe that you will go to a place down below if you have fun, but keep in mind not everyone believes in that place below the ground

[Asker]

true true... and fyi im religious but im not uptight.. tbh I still like fondling and sexting.

[Eric644]

I just think most religious people are uptight, since you believe that if you have fun in life you go to the fire place lol. Not pressuring you, but my outlook in life is not to worry about when you die, if you keep on worrying about that then you miss out in all the fun things life has to offer

[Eric644]

TBH, i just don't think you need to have a ring on the finger to have sex.

[Asker]

@Eric644 which is totally fine.. but yet again I am religious and I love to have fun!! and I believe that just bc I have fun doesn't mean im going to hell

[Eric644]

but you people do believe that people who don't wait till marriage are going to hell

[Asker]

umm ok so then.. what? I think basically my whole family is going to hell? No! I think not.. almost EVER one in my family didn't wait... sooo yeeaa I totally think my whole family and everyone is going to hell.. fyi im bering sarcastic

[Eric644]

well no because your family "repented" and are now chase or married, but you believe that people who still do it are going to hell

[Asker]

NO I don't.. I think nothing like that

[Eric644]

sorry my experience with born again christians tells me otherwise

[Asker]

well not all Christian r ass whips like what ur making them all out to be.. I am nothing like that, NOTHING like that.. TBH I have even touched a dick

[Eric644]

i went to a christian high school, almost 99% of the teachers preached to us that if you didn't do exactly this or that you were burning in the pit of fire, oh and if someone was gay, may God help them. I just had enough of the intolerance and the hate being preached that I became agnostic and live a much happier life, although I wouldn't mind re joining the Episcopal Church or joining the presbytyrian or Lutheran church. I grew up Episcopal and they were super tolerant. The catholics are getting better now with the new pope, but my high school has given me a bad taste in my moth in regards to born agains

[Asker]

well that's one, excuse my language, but one piss ass school and teaching the wrong things.. i have gay friends, i have black friends, i have friends that are JW's!!! but i still love them no matter what they chose.. i am so sry that school was like that, but i am not like that at all. That school is just WRONG

[Eric644]

well thank you :) sorry I got off into a tangent. I think sex is a very personal decision and i think you are ready when you are ready, I don't think it is up to anyone else to decide for you. if it happens, but from my experience it is a very beautiful thing that you really do not need to be married to have. I think my advice to you is to talk to the person you are dating about where you stand so you don't get him trapped into a sexless relationship if that is something he does not want. Also, if one thing ever does lead to another do not feel sorry and do not let other people try to make you feel shamed for it. But I will definitely say this to anyone your age, definitely wait till you are 18 or preferably in college when you are more mature to make those decisions

[Eric644]

and don't get me wrong, i should have clarified. there is a difference between Christians and Born again Christians as there are many tolerant Christians but born agains tend to be very fanatical

[Asker]

Thanks ;) i will wait a while yet.. that's mostly y i was planning on waiting till marriage, bc i think sex is scary, im scared of it! also i have had that convo with my boyfriend.. he is planning on waiting to but he still likes talking dirty and fondling.. i love the talking dirty but im not so sure that im even ready to fondle

[Asker]

But we have done it

[Asker]

the fondling i ment

[Eric644]

I understand that sex is a scary topic and I think that you should for sure wait till you are more mature, like I said before preferably in college. But it really isn't that scary when you are doing it as a responsible adult cause at that time you are more capable of taking control of the situation and making sure the proper precautions are met. Right now you are just in high school probably and you should just live life as a teenager and decide on sex when you are an adult.

[Asker]

yea ik.. thank you, and i hope things turn out better for ya ;)

[Eric644]

yeah I think they will :) . I think Episcopal might be the right way to go if I ever rejoin, but I also like a lot of what Buddhism thinks, maybe ill become a Christian Buddhist lol

[Asker]

lmao.. well im a Lutheran

[Eric644]

well the Lutheran church is very tolerant :) . So don't worry. And if it happens, im sure they will not shame you

[Eric644]

My best childhood friend is Lutheran by the way

[Asker]

that's awesome... and no they wouldn't shame me lol

[Eric644]

what the heck!!! I need to go to bed, but focus on your studies and getting into college that is the most important thing I can stress for you, the more "adult decisions" will come at that time

[Asker]

lmao.. yes ik.. thank you.. GNight

[Eric644]

no, I will not wait till marriage, that is just religion trying to control people, plus I'm an adult, not in highschool, i will not sign up for a high school relationship

[kiler1000]

So, you'll let the media control you?

[Eric644]

@kiler1000
it has nothing to do with the media, i view sex as a natural thing between adults, I think I could say that you are letting oppressive religious fanatics control you

[kiler1000]

Better then having to worry about getting an std or a list of unborn pregnancies

[Eric644]

@kiler1000 that's what condoms are for buddy

[Asker]

not unless the condom breaks

[Asker]

u can't rely on birth control crap tbh

[Eric644]

The condom only breaks because some men do not know how to properly put on a condom, you can thank religious zealots forcing abstinence education down our throats for that one

[Asker]

haha yea ik.. but still some would just break even if u r using then properly. doesn't happen much but they have b4

[Eric644]

That's why men should put on the right size (don't put on a magnum if you do not have a monster cock), inspect the condom for holes, and fit it on properly.

[kiler1000]

or, just save for marriage. i mean, really, why take such a needless risk? may as well play russian roulette.

[Eric644]

@kiler1000
Nope!!! Sex is not just for marriage

[kiler1000]

from a worldly stand point... if they even have one.

[Eric644]

@kiler1000
Well I live on Earth so yes call it worldly

[kiler1000]

and we've done terrific job of taking care of it, haven't we? Face it, being a "free thinker" mean becoming a target. There's gonna be a war, where all false religions will be fighting each other... and in this war... there will be no armies... just a free for all... not even family ties will be enough to survive. I don't need to post scriptures... it's happing now' but only on a small scale... based on all you've seen, heard, and read, how long do you think all this badness can be contained before it turns into a full fledged war?

[Asker]

No waiting isn't for everyone.. and who cares, if u wait or don't wait we are all humans and nothing is going to change that!

[Eric644]

@kiler1000
Well I don't believe in the apocalypse, see this what religious fanatics have been doing for years, trying to predict the end of the world. Chill dude, shit has been crazy since the begginjng of man, we have always been at war with another, the world did not end during the plague, it did not end during WW2, and it probably won't end any time soon, and if it does any time soon, it would be by our very own hands, no judgement day nothing.

[Eric644]

@kiler1000
And that is why I can't get on board with the Abrahamic religions, each and every one of you call each other "false religions" when you practically believe in the same shit, "God is a judgmental asshole, women are objects that must submit to men, sex is evil, etc" also the fact that you believe in the same God by the way. I can tolerate the more liberal Christian churches, liberal Jews, and the Catholic Church is getting better but in general western middle eastern religions are mostly barbaric.

[Asker]

Omg, please just stop u to.. I don't think its worth fighting over to try proving ur points. I don't think ether of u r going to win so just please stop

[Asker]

this can go on forever.. might as well put it to rest now

[kiler1000]

not fighting. you don't need to be religions to see this

[Asker]

well it sure seems like u guys r fighting.

[kiler1000]

I'm simply letting him know what's gonna take place. I'm mean, really, with everything that's happening... who can you not see that a war is coming? All you gotta do is turn on the news to see where things are headed.

[Eric644]

@kiler1000
I disagree dude, it's been like this since the beginning, the world is not coming to an end and judgement day is probably not coming anytime soon. But the asker made a point, waiting isn't for everyone and a lot of us are having premarital sex and are living happy lives and are clean as a whistle (I get tested every 6 months). You are fine with waiting till marriage, but that is not everyone's choice and you need to respect that and mind your own damn business. You like to believe that if you have any fun in life God is some jerk that will send you to hell or destroy you, I don't believe that

[kiler1000]

And it's only gotten worse

[kiler1000]

It's called restraint.

[Eric644]

@kiler1000
Dude, if you want to "restrain" go ahead, but stop telling other people how to live their lives.

[kiler1000]

I'm not

[Asker]

ok but like I said.. everyone has there own thoughts about life and how they are going to live it, if that means having sex or not b4 marriage, it doesn't matter, that's how that person wants to live there life. im not taking nether of ur sides.. yes I am waiting but that's just what Im going to do. you guys can keep going at this if u want but im going to try staying out of this now

[Eric644]

Bingo, and if you ever do end up doing it when you are an adult, that is fine too. The point is you are still a teenager and you shouldn't worry about that until you are an adult and you can make that decision when the time comes.

[Eric644]

I think I told you before , Focus on your studies for now and go to college

[Asker]

I think u did. lol.. and I will ;)

[Mesonfielde]

Important, very much so actually, but that doesn't mean you can't wait a bit before you're more comfortable with each other. Waiting until marriage is just silly though. The typical mark if you take it slow is 6 months of being in a relationship. If you still don't want to have sex by that point, then they're just being strung along.

[Anonymous]

I can wait some period of time based on ethics (to a point), but ultimately, I cannot feel wanted in a relationship if my partner doesn't sexually desire me, and really want to act on that desire.

That's on top of the fact that I have sexual frustration of my own or want it. But that's almost a separate thing.

[AmandaLynn1930]

its not the most important thing, but its pretty important. if i was with someone who didn't want to have sex, of course i would repsect that, but it's somthing i feel like i need so it would be a little bit hard.

[F1Mad39]

SSex is important for the physical side of a relationship but it's by no means something it should be based on. There is so much more to a relationship than in the bedroom.

[Asker]

agreed.. but I am waiting till marriage for sex, in ur own sense, do u think that's ok?

[F1Mad39]

It's a personal thing to be honest. If you're happier waiting then do so

[Asker]

kk :D

[F1Mad39]

Go with the flow

[Asker]

ok thanks

[F1Mad39]

You're welcome

[Bimbobambo]

No sex=no relationship. A relationship without sex is like having a best friend from the opposite gender, and I dont need that. I need a best friend from the opposite gender that has sex with me so I can call it a Relationship.

[MadeInAmerica]

media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...0fa2f24f25a0.jpg

Yes eventually.

[Lyndsielee666]

Isn't a relationship without sex like a friendship?
How will you know if you guys are even compatible in bed...

[Asker]

well frankly I don't know anymore.. and whats the whole deal about being compatible? if I may ask, bc I don't really know

[Kirah]

I do think it's essential.

If a guy does not want to have sex within the first 3 months, then I'm out. Sorry. I'm not waiting until marriage, either. Sex is an important part of a healthy relationship for me.

[Anonymous]

It is hugely important. There is not such thing as a healthy heterosexual relationship with a strong connection that does not include a good sexual relationship. Great sex is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. Without it there WILL be problems.

[CasaNorba]

i chose B.

either way its something we are gonna do no matter what so I dont make it my priority in a relationship

[mooky06]

I absolutely need/want sex in the relationship. I would like to have that emotional connection with a guy. And having that sexual attraction and desire by him, is a turn on.

[pervertedjester]

No but I'm at that age when as a guy where I'm looking more for companionship/trust over sex/lust.

[BrunetteNYC]

Can't we just have both? lol

[pervertedjester]

@BrunetteNYC Well if you find it let me know.

[BrunetteNYC]

I'm working on it, so I'll let u know ;)

[Nik1hil]

There is relationship, then there is dead relationship (without sex) , the there is living relationship (with sex) .
Your pick

[Asker]

so y can't there be a live relationship without sex.. especially since I am only 16?

[Nik1hil]

Well - Well.. You are young soon the fairytale, part of relationship will, end. Cause guys need sex and no guy will like to go in a relationship without sex. In my case I will make an exception if only she, is a Virgin or cause of some medical reason, or if she has a very low sex drive, or she has some other reason which is very good to support her cause, that she does not wants to have sex with me.
Yes, hypothetical that kind of relationship can exist, but it is supposed to doom, because, if an another girls offers to such a guy, who has high sex drive and he is not getting sex, so this guy won't think twice, he will just go in with this random chick for sex, cause guys need sex and if he goes in for sex he is cheating on you which means it's the end of relationship.
You need to put something in your bond of relationship that is good enough for him to hold onto, and believe and have faith in you that you love him.

[Asker]

ok well right now I am dating someone that is planning on waiting like me... but he still likes sexting stuff and fondling and stuff to kinda crush that urge

[Nik1hil]

I hope it works out for you, only if you both are Virgin

[Asker]

yea we both r

[Nik1hil]

Than it has 99% chance that it will, work out, if you both a Virgin, then this shouldn't be a problem, fondling and kissing, is fine, maybe go as far as oral sex... NO need of much

[Asker]

ohh ik lol.. we hve already sort of talked about Oral

[Agrojag]

What's the point of a relationship without it? Sounds like a friendship.

[Asker]

but there still is kissing and making out involved.. ?

[Agrojag]

That's like only having appetizers or salads. I need a meal! Hahaha!

[Asker]

ha kk

[TenderFantasy]

You shouldn't even kiss and make out it will lead to other things Asker.

[Asker]

@TenderFatasy Im not saying there HAS to be kissing and making out, im saying there could be.. I just through that in there to see what @Agrojag would say if there was just Kissing and making out but they people not go to far

[RasAlGhul]

How important is get a girl first? xDDD but even im a loner i think sex have a important place. but this doesn't mean that sex its everything

[vishna]

Having had bomb sex with my boyfriend, I would like to continue having bomb sex.

[Anonymous]

Frankly, I wouldn't mind dying a virgin, don't know if that is because I'm a virgin... or if I were to be a virgin no longer I would care.

[Anonymous]

Pretty important, I don't want a relationship without intimacy.

[TenderFantasy]

There are other ways to be intimate not just through sex.