Have you ever ruined things with a great friend over the person you were dating?

Do you regret it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, I moved out from my best friend and I's flat to move in with an ex. Even though we broke up a year later, I don't regret it. He was sort of a jerk for not being more understanding... I put plenty of effort into trying to see him often and hang out just us, he was too pissed I moved out to even try to be friends after...

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    • That sounds like he ruined things between you.

    • I blame him, but he blames me... I suppose if I had stayed things would never have gone bad, but in the end he was being selfish, I just happened to be the one to start it.

What Guys Said 4

  • Sort of yes. I do regret it - and yet I don't. He doesn't know (at least, I don't think he knows), but I pulled away because of my guilt.

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    • What are you guilty of doing?

    • In 1988, I was 25 and my buddy was 24.5. He had a girlfriend who was part of our summer social circle several years earlier. She was 22 at the time. Anyway, I was a little surprised that she was my buddy's girlfriend. They still lived near where we grew up, but I was away at graduate school. They came to visit. Now, I was "hard up" meaning I did not have a girlfriend and had not been laid in a long time (about 1.5 years at that point). What surprised me about my buddy and his girlfriend is that he didn't seem to be her type. I was - and I knew it. And furthermore, she knew that I knew and, worse, that she was my type in a lot of ways. She instinctively knew my weaknesses like a short skirt and high heels. She took advantage of that and not-so-innocently teased me. My buddy was oblivious. Worst of all, he invited me (at her urging) to stay over in their double bed hotel room. I think I did. The next morning, he goes out to get some breakfast or whatever, and she immediately gets up and starts making out with me...

    • I knew it was wrong... but it was soooo goood. We did not fuck, but we did make out. He was oblivious to all of this. When they went back home, I didn't know how to handle it. She tried calling me, but I never picked up (this was before cell phones). Finally, she stopped calling and I felt bad about that because she deserved some kind of response. I later learned that they split up shortly after that, but I never felt right around my buddy and never saw him the same frequency that I had since we were 13.

  • No, I wouldn't.

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  • I did, last week. The worst thing is i wasn't even dating the girl! He was! Flirting around with her every time, knowing i like her.
    For now, no regrets. But think its too early to make any definite conclusions about this.

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    • At your age you both might be able to get over it and still be OK.

  • My boss fired me at age 17 for having sex in a car in front of his store and we have never talked since

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What Girls Said 2

  • I sort of lost my best friend for the 2-3 years before I got with my boyfriend. I didn't really do anything wrong that led to this 'break-up'. It was more like I just started hanging out with him more than with her. She had been my gym-buddy before, then he took that place, going with me almost every day of the week.

    I don't regret it. Only after it was all said and done, including her sending me a break-up message over FB, did I realize she had never really been that great of a friend in the first place. She had essentially had a monopoly over me, hence why she lost it when he came into the picture. Needless to say, we sort of grew apart.

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    • Interesting story, but it has nothing to do with my question. Although, the way you're dwelling on it shows you do kind of regret the way things went.

    • Show All
    • My question was did YOU ruin the friendship.

    • Well that's subjective. In her eyes, my no longer calling to make plans with her was the straw that broke the camel's back. One time I didn't text her back 'quickly enough' because I was busy with my boyfriend, which led to her losing her shit and essentially breaking up with me. So yeah, I suppose it was my actions, or lack thereof, that led to the end of our friendship.

  • Nope can't say I've done it but I have had it happen to me

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