How can I stop being the way I am?

Hey ! Thank you for lending some of your time.

First, I'm 21 years old studying in the finance field. I'd like to get some advices/help to know how I can overcome the issues that I am currently facing.

As you may expect, I've never had a girlfriend, nor have girls as friends. Then, my female friends number is either one or two. I know this might sound pathetic but this it is. Those two are only acquaintances on top of that, not real friends that I talk over the phone or text.

As for male friends, I have tons of acquaintances and some of them that I talk via texting from time to time. Indeed, getting male friends sounds not difficult to me, at least not as much as getting female friends.

I'm having troubles with girls, mainly because I am overly shy; to a point that I am unable to say "hi" to a girl. Also, each time a girl's eyes and mines are toward the same direction, I tend to avoid and look somewhere else. It is not that I intend to do it on purpose, but it is because I have an inferiority complex probably.
Also, I have self-esteem/confidence issues that makes it even harder to approach girls. No matter how hard I try to overcome them, it ends up being unsuccessful.

To be honest, I'm not a handsome guy but I am not an ugly person aswell. I believe that I fit in the average guy category.

I do not know what to do anymore. Lately, for the two past years (since I entered college) I've tried so hard to approach girls but my body wouldn't respond the same way that I have imagined it.
I'm tired being this way, I want to change but I do not know where to start nor what to do.

I really need some guidance in my current issues, since it affects my life in all aspects (career, mood, social...).

Hoping that you'll share some of your knowledge with a person that is going deep in a gap.

Best regards,

Rayan


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What Guys Said 1

  • I can tell you I'm in the exact same spot, but in computer science (masters last year = no girls). I've only approached one woman in my life and it went catastrophically bad. Now, I only have one female friend and a buch of acquaintanced guys.

    Today I could have offer a ride to a woman home (its on my way) but I was so socially anxious, that I ended up just saying "good weekend" after her. She is 10 yo than me, lives with her boyfriend and I was never attracted to her, and yet I couldn't even give her a freaking ride. It's really frustrating how stupid it sounds, but it just keeps happening day after day stuff like this. I don't think I could ever approach a women with any intentions again...

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