Why does my boyfriend do this, knowing that it will not help us at all?

As of right now I am the only one with a stable job. His work is like.. 2 days out of a 4 week interval. So you can hardly consider that a "job". I work 4am to 2pm four days a week and bring home an average of $290 weekly. Because of his now unstable job we have had to resort to leaving our apartment and moving in with his mother till we get on our feet again. I suggested that he gets a job with my friends husband because that way, our schedules will line up and we won't have to pay for day care right off for our two children. Day care where I am from costs (on average) $195 weekly for two kids, which is almost my entire paycheck. He was all for this idea until yesterday.
As of now he decided that he is going to get a job with his buddy (who quits jobs every two weeks because he "doesn't like it") an hour away from where we live AND is 7am-3pm everyday. Which would mean that my paycheck would have to strictly be used for daycare and we wouldn't be able to afford a place of our own in the long run anyways. He knows this, yet he still wants to do it. He knows I can't switch my schedule around to accommodate to this and he knows we can not afford daycare. Why is he doing this? We make plans and then he flakes out last minute (he was supposed to talk to my friends husband today and he flaked out yesterday).
Mind you, I've been the one who has had a stable job almost the entire time we've been together. He's never held a job for more than 3 months. What do I do or say that will make him snap into the reality of the financially situation that he is trying to put us in?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'mt sure why he doesn't want to act like an adult and hold down a job. Can you have your parents or a friend (that doesn't work/have school at that time) watch your kids? Where I live there is a dhs program that will pay most of the cost to have your kids in day care while you work so you could find out if there's one where you live. The only other option I can see is if you get another job with different hours and that hopefully pays more. Make it clear you don't intend to spend more than X amoubt of time living with his mother, and that after X amount of time you will move out with or without him (otherwise a lot of guys will never move out again and make excuses not to).

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What Guys Said 1

  • Well you sure picked a winner of a guy to have two kids with while being under 25.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I can see where you are coming from, and honestly, just tell him straight up in a nice way " you may not like your job but it pays the bills, my job is here i can't do anything about it. something along those lines. He has to accept the reality of things. Everyone wants a job that they like but sometimes thats not the case.

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