What are your reasons for not dating a teen mom?

[art_of_sin]

Girls, you can answer also☺

[front2back]

I'm 19, I can't be the step-father to a child at this point in my life. Here's why:

Single moms always say they'll take care of the baby all on their own and that you only have to focus on dating the parent, the baby won't even be a problem. However, it ALWAYS turns into focusing on the baby too and the baby WILL turn out to be a problem. I've asked my cousins and other guys who've dated (young) single moms before.
The mom is going to focused on the child no matter what (this is why they always say, "My son is my world"), because duh, she's a mom. Either way, the child is going to be a major part of the relationship no matter what. You'll going to have to watch/take car of the child at some point, even if it's just for a few minutes while she uses the bathroom. If you end up liking/disliking the child, it's also going to have a huge impact on how you see her and how the relationship will go on. She'll probably be tight on money, so she won't be able to go on dates with you often because she can't afford the babysitter. Let's say that something does go wrong, like the baby getting sick and needing doctor's visits/pills, and now she doesn't have enough money for rent/food/whatever this month. What are you going to do? Just let the girl you're dating and her child completely suffer? No, you're probably going to help, even though she said in the beginning she said she didn't need it. Now you're not only tied in financially to the child, you're becoming a parent too.

Lastly, let's say you do grow attached to the child. Maybe you really like being a father and helping take care of the baby. Normally, this would be a good thing for both of you and the child. But what happens if she falls out of love and breaks up with you? Now you'll be dealing with TWO heartbreaks. You're removed from her and a child that you helped care for and have grown to like. That's a really, really shitty feeling that will probably rip out your heart for the next few years. You managed to become single and are no longer a father in one blow.

This is why young guys don't want to date a teen mom, either way things go, it's probably not going to end well for you. I won't even get into the poor life choices argument, it's been said enough.

[MaybeNot1]

A single mom, is like a used ruined car. If a guy was single, educated, and attractive why would he want to invest money [in this case time] on a beat down car with extra mileage, when he can get himself the total opposite?

[Kingfrosty]

Wow... So true XD

[DessieDoo]

I would never object to dating a single parent if I was to ever have a fall out with my boyfriend. Chances are this is only because I have two kids myself and would rather date someone whom had kids and already knew what parenting was all about.
I feel like people don't want to jump into relationships with single parents because of the baggage. The children are NOT baggage, but the ex's, or other parent, often can be. There is the possibility of overwhelming drama because of this other parent (depending on how the two parents broke up). It truly depends on the situation. However, I believe this is the reason why most people are slightly against it.

[DivineAliah]

If I were a guy... I don't think I'd really care whether or not if she was a teen mom. I feel if I love this girl then I would still love her. Even the smartest people make mistakes so, I'm not gunna judge her or penalize her for being a teen mom. If the father isn't around I'll step up and be the man that he was suppose to be and help raise the child or just help with financial issues or just anything to make sure that child doesn't grow up without. If the father is there I'd hope he'd keep his end of the deal as far as visitation and necessities of the child.

[art_of_sin]

That's selfless and very mature of you☺

[kittykatg]

People who aren't ready to be parents USUALLY don't date people who already are. If you're not ready to be a parent and are dating a single parent regardless of when they had the kid, you are required to be a good example to that child and become part of their life. People that don't want kids don't want other people's kids either

[art_of_sin]

Great response😊

[kittykatg]

Thanks

[HandsomeRaj]

1. What the MHO says seems to sound good but in a materialistic manner about inanimate objects which is quite disparaging not only to women but also to humanity
2. We can't be comparing girls to goods and thus objectifying them (ofcourse awarding MHO is your aka the asker's choice :) ) They are human beings and not statistical analysis on drawing boards
3. Coming to the question, knowing the way I have been even in my teens I'd probably have gladly dated a teen mom. As of now I obviously won't date a teen but yes I will adopt her with the baby :D
4. Reason when I was a teen and I may not have dated a teen mom is simply because I may not have had the resources to care for them. Ability I most certainly had even then though :)

My apologies, my intention isn't to patronize or disparage either you or the MHO (he's written it beautifully though but again...) but just that I have firmly believed and evince that it's not for us to judge anyone predicament but if we can we must be of aid :)

[art_of_sin]

Well stated. No offense taken 😊

[HandsomeRaj]

Thank you for understanding what I meant, the up vote and your kind words young lady :) <3

[JuicyBrain]

From my point of view as a 37yo. I might say age difference first and foremost.
Poor decision making from the girl.
Having to care for the child more than I should.
The fact that she is probably still in school and needs support.
Having less time with her since she must care for the child.
It makes planning stuff harder.
The child is not mine
Might have to deal with a dead beat dad who also has poor decision making skills and be unreliable.

Keep in mind that those are reasons to not date, there are reasons to date too. I might like to care for a child even if it's not mine... Let's also not forget that a teen can be 18 or 19 which makes it legal.

[MaskedSanity]

Teen mom = poor life choices/not very smart.

Sorry, but it's the truth. Teen mom due to rape is a rare scenario, so bringing it up here is pointless. The vast majority of teen mommies didn't get preggers because they were all raped.

Also, claiming to know someone who gave birth in their teens and turned out ok is also a shitty argument, considering how many turned out terrible by being passed from foster home to foster home and/or growing up to be criminals because they were raised in unsuitable environments.

Failing contraception isn't the biggest factor either.
www.guttmacher.org/.../...rnContraceptiveWorks.png

Numbers don't care about your feelings.
Numbers don't lie.

[AleDeEurope]

Exactly. Many bring up the "the condom may have malfunctioned" argument, which can be true, but the chances of that happening are less than 5%.
Then you hear girls say "but he pulled out"... -_-

[MaskedSanity]

@AleDeEurope

Of course. The chart clearly shows that over half of unintended pregnancies occurred because people we dumb shits. The other chunk minus the 5% were semi dumb shits.

People seriously need to stop using exceptions and look at the big picture.

It's the same with obesity. "People have medical conditions that makes them gain weight!! Bawwwww!" That accounts for only a small percentage, the rest just have shit diets and aren't as active as they should be.

People simply don't want to be held accountable for their bullshit, so they look for convenient loop hopes to fit their butthurt agenda.

[WhatTheHellAmy]

I have no reasons to not do it.

If these girls are truly devoted to their kids, that would make me have some respect for them.
Shit happens, the condom breaks, the guy tells you condom sucks and you don't wear it, the guy lies to you and many shitty things can happen so it's not always the girl's fault.

If the girl is responsible, funny and attractive to me, I wouldn't care to date her and go out with her son or daughter too.

[elew4too]

I'm gonna keep it real: it's expensive and time consuming to raise a child. A man who did not create the child will not be as eager to give his time and resources to the child. The man would not be eager to deal with the father of the child. And the man would not be eager to undertake all of these burdens over the long-term.

[Dez22]

you're not raising the kid, you're dating the woman :/

[elew4too]

@Dez22 I respectfully disagree. Once a relationship with a single mom gets serious, I imagine that she would look to the man to help with the child in some way. Like, I can't see a married guy refusing to pay for a child's meal when that child lives with him and came out of the woman that he's married to.

[Dez22]

Fair enough, but she said dating, not a long term relationship and love. Maybe you and I have different definitions of dating someone lol dating is just for fun to me nothing serious..

[dory23]

@Dez22
Why would you bother to date someone if you have no intention of it becoming a long term relationship and love?

[SincerePimp]

No guy wants a girl that had another mans seed. A girl having a mans child means she has to first value the man as being worthy of procreation. If you just have any mans child and you don't value him or he has not worth then why did you give birth to his seed and bring his child into this world? A girl that procreates with low value men is a low value women. No guy wants to take care of a low value man and woman's child. Why would any high value man or woman want that? The females body is stretched out and fat from giving birth. That is very unattractive. Why have a relationship with a mother when their are plenty of girls with no kids with tight bodies and no baggage of responsibility with a low value man?

[NotTheRegularNiceGuy]

1- Im not sure I'd handle the baby too (after all, Im not a fully grownup adult)
2- I'd be afraid of her bad experience with the kid's father. Teen moms usually have been cheated on hard, or had a traumatic experience of some kind related to the father of her child, and I dont want to suffer because of other people's mistakes nor do I want to be some kind of rebound guy (if she still wants the father to come back)

[Mistnigqa808]

Umm because she'd be used good in my mind + I know that I'd only use her for a QUICK FUCK... and that's it.

i1127.photobucket.com/.../ezgif.com-add-text.gif

[Mistnigqa808]

which is something that I'd rather not do to a girl (use her for her pussy) LOL

[art_of_sin]

So do the world a favor and don't date one

[Mistnigqa808]

I wouldn't even give that broad the time of day to begin with in the 1st place. Since that would probably = her BABYDADDY and I beefing over her (if not potentially killing 1 another over her #FuckThat ).

[MaybeNot1]

LOL I wouldn't even give that broad the time of day.

[Mistnigqa808]

@MaybeNot1 I'm not joking tho + that's how nigqas get killed now. Ya know via trying to "intrude" on another man's ALREADY MADE FAMILY, right? And most (or some) men aren't going to be okay with another man trying raising their child NOR ___ bang their baby mama, right? Even if they're already "done with each other" relationship wise. Which usually ends in 1 of the 2 men being dead HAHA. So with that being said why in the fuck would I even put myself in that situation over some used goods? #CouldntBeMe

[Mistnigqa808]

nor bang*

[ThisDudeHere]

Because her being a mother this young implies she made some very bad choices which then indicate a lot of her character and intelligence. Or lack thereof.

[art_of_sin]

Well thanks for your opinion, though i disagree with your statement. Intelligence and her character has nothing to do with her having a child.

[ThisDudeHere]

I think it has plenty to do with it. Who in their right mind would decide to have a child this early in life when they aren't even standing on their own feet yet?

[art_of_sin]

She could have been raped. By the way, not only my mothers but my aunts were teen mothers. They are very successful and have managed to raise their children correctly. Not saying, they had a few challenges. But we turned out just fine

[ThisDudeHere]

"She could have been raped."
That is an entirely different case then. I can't of course blame a girl for having a child out of rape but her getting knocked up before 18 is not the same thing as her being raped. One's an unfortunate personal tragedy while the other is a stupid choice in life. I wouldn't date the girl because I wouldn't want to take care of the child and neither would I want to be around if and whenever she makes another bad decision.

[art_of_sin]

Thanks for answering ☺

[NeglectedDyldo]

Main reason would be the child. I don't want a child right now and if my partner has a child, the child becomes a part of my life and then he/she might start calling me Dad, which isn't something I'd be comfortable with.

[Jxpxtxr]

Tbh I would doubt their level of maturity.
You have to be pretty naive to actually believe that you can take proper responsibility and care of a child at 15 (or whatever age they get pregnant).
At such a young age you have neither the financial means nor the life experience to be able to be a good parent in my opinion.
I don't date irresponsible people.

[Gommers]

You will never be part of a healthy relationship with her. She never learned how to deal with relationship issues before having a child that she'll eventually have no way to teach how to deal with relationship problems. It's a sinking ship and you'll always be the least important person to her.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't date a younger man my age with a kid. baby mama/ drama, custody issues, court dates, always bitchin about the other parent! No fun! Always having to find a baby sitter, no freedom, no weekend trips, late night concerts, going out on the weekends! Young people generally wanna live a fulfilled life and that's not doable with a kid!

[chrisbigman]

First of all, too young as in jail bait. Second of all, no maturity. If you have a baby during your teen era, not smart. I'd prefer a woman/girl with common sense. Having a baby in your teens does NOT say common sense at all. Third of all, if she has a baby right now, it would limit our social life a little bit.

[jacquesvol]

1. My wife wouldn't like that
2. I don't date teens, mom or not.

[dudegrt09]

Cause being a parent is a huge responsibility, and raising someone else's child is job of an evolutionary loser... cause when we talk about evolution generally males are interested in spreading there own brood and raising it instead of someone else's...

[butimsharon]

I'm a teen and a straight. it's kind of a problem to me ;)

[JuicyBrain]

What do you mean?
A straight what?
Do you mean you are straight?
What if HE was a father? (The kid is in his life)

[butimsharon]

@JuicyBrain I'm straight. The "a" doesn't need to be there, sorry haha!
And if the guy is a teen and a father and single too, it's probably because he has panicked and ran away, and I don't want to be with someone who runs away whenever he gets scared.

[pineappleshortcare]

As a teen, she needs to be focusing on getting her life together so she can support her child financially and emotionally. There's plenty of time for dating again when she gets her feet under her.

[Prettygurl12]

You know who tend to date teen girls? Teen boys. You know what teen boys don't want to, and quite frankly aren't capable of, dealing with? A child.

Seems pretty self explanatory to me.

[Red_Arrow]

The biggest reason is because at her age I would be considered a pedophile.