Girls, when you're clearly attracted to a guy why would you want a friendship before dating?

This girl I met found me so attractive she basically said it pulled her out of her comfort zone. She's recently out of a bad relationship and wants to build trust and a friendship before dating again. She's not into flings or one nighters. Is it as simple as she said? She talks to me all the time now and usually not about serious things. I just joke and lightly flirt, figuring it's going to take some time.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • because she is considering you seriously, most guys are quick to assume that it means 'friend zone' but if a girl is showing obvious interest and holding back on physical contact or specific romantic dates, is because she wants to take her time and let you both get to know each other. it is also so that you get to like her for who she is aside from just a potential sexual mate so she knows you would like her more than just looks. thats at least why i do it

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    • She's definitely holding back on seeing me in person. She's got some things she's dealing with. I think I may be her only friend at the moment, so I'm unsure if she's friendzoned me because she has no one else to talk to and doesn't want to lose that even though she's aware of my interest. I stopped pushing to see her figuring she's gotta figure this out on her own, but patience does have limits.

    • yeah that is also true too, you are right, it could be that she wants a friend and she is being cautious because if she starts to date you there wouldn't be a friendship if things did go south. and true patience does have its limits but dont pressure her either. you may both develop a good friendship that maybe even you will be happy for :)

What Girls Said 3

  • of course.. there's no relationship without having friendship first. friendship is like the base of everything.

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  • She likely is testing the waters. Be her friend not just because you want to date her but because you generally care about her. Respect her boundaries, be a good friend and be trustworthy. If she was just out of a bad relationship, you need to show her you're going to be a good person and help her better herself. If you be patient, you'll improve your chances of being with her to romantically.

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    • I've been nothing but an upstanding guy towards her since she told me she just wants friends right now. I backed off and I keep our texting friendly. I'm not sure of when and how to reenaguage her and let her know I still want more.

  • Patience and understanding are key eements here. A friendship is your solid base. But be her friend because you want to be in her life, not because you are looking for something more.

    If that's what's going to happen don't rush

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    • She gets overwhelmed easily and she's already dealing with some things. I got her to open up to me some about it. She knows what I ultimately want, but told me she just wants friends right now. It feels like she's keeping me around but at a distance until she's ready to deal with her feelings towards me.

    • Then she should at the very least let you know that is something she's looking for as well. Because of she thinks you're her friend and are gaining her trust for your own gain she is going to feel betrayed, hurt and used

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