Why does telling a girl she's beautiful seldom work?

It sometimes does... like if you've never told her after a while of spending time with her... or if you have this instant connection and things are already really romantic between you, but I think a lot of guys, myself included, are frustrated that things aren't more straightforward.

It's important to make clear i think because as I see it there are five or so types of guys in terms of getting girls...

The cad who says sexual things to a girl and is very smooth and gets a lot of resistance which he stays confident through and the girl eventually starts to want him after he's chased for a while.

The boy next door who gets a long really well with the girl until she develops a crush on him too and then he makes the move in a polite but brave manner.

The shyer guy who waits for a girl to want him. sometimes he'll put himself in situations like theater classes where he can meet girls more easily without having to approach them really.

The party guy who uses charisma and "pure fun" to his advantage--girls want to go to parties to dance drink and have fun... this guy is the center of the fun and therefore he gets the girls.

the pseudo celebrity... he's just been with a lot of pretty girls and has a lot of male friends or he's well known and well respected at the office--basically he's an "alpha male" for lack of a better term for the mere fact that everyone believes he is.

A lot of guys feel it's wrong to be a cad and yet they don't want to be any of the other types and don't feel it's worth the work... they just want to be like hey you're really beautiful and make it that straightforward. We all know that is doesn't work, but my questions is, specifically, what's so bad about that that seems to get such poor responses?


Most Helpful Girl

  • for me personally, it will work when i know it means something coming from that person. like if it's a compliment they dont throw around. there are people though who will just compliment you like a piece of furniture... and for me that doesn't work.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm not any of those types and honestly they sound like movie characters.

    It's probably because nowadays girls always get told they're beautiful on Facebook and Instagram, even the ugly ones, so it's almost meaningless.

    • how do you go about pursuing girls?

    • Show All
    • that's not too far from boy next door?

    • Actually, the "she develops a crush on him" and "he makes a move" parts are pretty far from the truth.

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 3

  • i agree with the anonymous guy in the 1st paragraph. that pretty much sums it up. but if you know the girl, you can say she's beautiful. i guess it depends on how well you know the girl and how you talk to the girl. like, i tell my girl friends who i'm not that close with or haven't seen in a while that they're gorgeous or beautiful all the time when i see them. they love it. but i guess it also depends on what you're trying to get out of it. like, i'm just complimenting them and not hitting on them. if you're trying to hit on them, i guess you just ante up the compliments.

  • They've heard it all before, it becomes just another sentence to them. Like chat up lines, they're just meaningless.

    You make women work for compliments, affection, that's far more rewarding than simply blowing smoke up their rectums.

    If men throw compliments around like confetti then they can have few complaints when women don't take compliments seriously.

  • Assuming you guys didn't know each other previously: A) she already knows she is, and has heard this by a dozen men this week alone and is sick of it; B) she is in disbelief because she doesn't believe it; which brings us to: C) she thinks by you saying it you want into her pants; and that doesn't work because D) she doesn't already like you or find you attractive, and even if she did, most often she will still make you work - not to play games, but to weed out the players, and might also be worried you are getting too intense too soon.

    Had you known her a month, and had she been into you, there is a chance it would work; but also remember some women are always suspicious of compliments due to the ulterior motive angle (prior experience or heard that this happened to one of their gfs?), or because they think they are crap and can't give themselves permission to accept it and feel good about it.

    Best idea: compliment on something else, like her unique fashion statement.

    You see, with a man, if you tell him he's handsome, he either thinks: "Damn! I'm not a slug after all - makes MY day!" or: "she's just saying that to make me feel good, which means she has a sympathetic heart". So it's good either way for a man, hardly ever negative (he'd kind of have to be messed up for it to be a negative).