Does the amount of money a guy spends on a first date influence your initial impressions of him?

I have had first dates when I spent $200 and I have had first dates when I spent not more than $10. Sometimes, I am afraid that an expensive first date might be interpreted as a desperate guy trying too hard, but other times I wonder whether a girl will think that I am stingy with my money (I am not.) Do you pay attention to how much a guy spends on a first date? Guys, do you have a philosophy for how much you should spend on a first date?

  • I'm a girl and I want to see a guy try to impress me, so spend that money!
    7% (12)2% (2)5% (14)Vote
  • I'm a girl and I don't want a guy trying to impress me with cash!
    30% (49)1% (1)17% (50)Vote
  • I'm a girl and I don't care how much he spends; all that matters is how he treats me and whether we have chemistry!
    61% (101)2% (2)35% (103)Vote
  • I'm a guy and I want to impress her with a fancy, expensive first date!
    1% (1)3% (4)2% (5)Vote
  • I'm a guy and a first date is about getting to know each other, not about spending a bunch of money!
    1% (1)64% (84)29% (85)Vote
  • I'm a guy and I try to plan a first date based on what I know about the girl; sometimes it's simple and sometimes it's fancy!
    0% (1)28% (38)12% (39)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't care or even think about how much money is spent. But i did vote that i don't want a guy trying to impress me with cash because my integrity meter runs pretty high and i am not someone who can be bought. But the other thing is i also don't want so much pressure on a date, like going to an expensive restaurant as a date is probably the worst thing i can think off. I prefer fun light dates, going bowling, hiking, go-carting is extremely fun, picnics or just hanging out playing x-box wit a large pepperoni pizza.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think so. I mean I don't think a guy should be cheap ass but at the same time not over so it and spend lots of money. It looks desperate, especially for a first date.

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    • Over do it*

      And thanks for the most honest opinion

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    • Thank auto correct for that lol

    • @mikemx55 I think if you hover your mouse over the "mho [number]%" next to the commenter's age it displays it correctly with some explanation, I didn't know what it was in the beginning either^^

What Girls Said 48

  • On my first date with my boyfriend I paid. But that's beside the point. We went out for pizza. And we each got our own. And I ate all of mine. And part of his.

    First dates are about getting to know a person and money doesn't factor into that.

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    • Exactly the money doesn't factor in. On our first he got the first round and I got the second. As soon as we got our first beer I told him I'd get the next which I almost felt was too forward suggesting there'd be a second but I already knew I'd want to be around for at least another. I've had some first dates where that wasn't the case.

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    • I've only had three like that and it was because the guy was so excited that I was 'hot, smart and have money' he didn't even consider what he was bringing to the table or how things were going for me.

      I'm not being vain it's just a mindset kind of thing. Maybe they went on a long string of bad dates but I felt like they weren't listening to what I was saying or me. They were just sizing me up against a checklist. One guy was even hostile to me at first like I was wasting his time because I suggested a change of venue to somewhere with parking because it was supposed to storm and we were meeting in a pedestrian district. It did storm and let me tell you one umbrella in January doesn't work. I ducked under an awning and hailed a cab. The other two stalked my phone for a while and one showed up outside my gym when I didn't respond two months after our ONLY date.

    • Dating is hard and my golden rule is to be kind no matter what. But those three guys really tested my patience. Mr. Rain man went from cold to manically impressed by me over the course of four hours. It was our second meeting but first date and we had to leave a jazz bar because he was talking way too loud. He never checked in with my facial expressions to see how things were going. I guess on paper it seemed like a great date if you don't take the other person into consideration. I'm always polite in a date and treat them as a friend of I know it won't work out. After all they are giving me their time and planned an evening. But times he was the worst.

      Thank you for reminding me how much I love my boyfriend. He's amazing. 😊

  • I voted C but I REALLY rather a guy doesn't spend a lot on a first date. It makes me kind of uncomfortable especially if I'm not sure I want another date.

    I really don't want any big romantic gestures until we've been on several dates and are starting to know each other well. I also tend to recripocate or just come up with romantic ideas on my own.

    My boyfriend's birthday was shortly after we started dating and I took him to a nice seafood restaurant of his choosing without a care as to how much it would cost. He loves oysters and they were having an oyster happy hour. I still think back to the smile on his face and how completely happy it made me to see it. But it would have never been as special for a first date.

    Our first date was a couple of beers but he picked a pub that I really liked but hadn't been to in years because it is uptown. I didn't need anything more than that. We had enough conversation going to where I didn't want to leave and the pub he picked was just absolutely perfect and not one a lot of people would have thought of.

    I guess my point is you should be the focal point of the date not your pocket book. Pick a place that represents the real you not somewhere you think she'll like. If your right for each other she will like it too. ☺️

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  • My first date with my boyfriend was at his flat. He invited me over, met me outside work and we walked to his. He sat me down and he cooked me steak. We stayed up until 2am and he walked me to my car and we went home.

    I love the effort he went to. Our first date was so easy :)

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    • It is very risky to go to a guy's apartment for your first date. I'm glad it worked out well.

    • Did you know each other beforehand?

    • We met at work and we had spoken via email and facebook. It was the first time we socially spent time together @9mfeo

  • I've never been on a date, but no it wouldn't. I'm a simple girl, that's how I grew up and I am now. So, I don't need expensive or complicated. I'd be just as happy going to McDonalds, as I would be a fancy place (though I'd prefer McDonalds better lol). If I didn't already like the person, we wouldn't be going on date in the first place. So, it doesn't matter how much money he does or doesn't spend. I'm not there to be impression by his cash flow, I'm there get to know him and enjoy his company. So, for me money doesn't matter and it wouldn't impress me anyway. There's more important things to be impressed by then money.

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  • I went with C purely because Iv been on a few types of dates with varying degrees of expense. I like to contribute on dates but I'm still traditional in the sense I like a gentleman. So to go on a date for a drink and chat maybe go for a stroll that's ok, nice way to relax nerves and get to know someone. To be brought only to a pub to get drunk is not a good impression it makes me think they are out for one thing. To me the perfect date is a nice meal nothing ridiculously fancy but somewhere pleasant, it shows he's investing in me with time and money, then I would usually suggest one or two drinks that I pay for followed by the walk home to ensure I'm home safely. That is perfection. How he treats me and staff, friends you might bump into etc on the date factors higher than the meal etc. If he were to take me somewhere really fancy and we did not really know each other well I might feel he is trying just a little too hard

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  • I agree with most of the girls that in the early parts you want to get to know each other. I'd keep it simple which for the most part would be inexpensive. I would rather hike or take a walk than go to dinner. I think doing it a different way often gets you off on the wrong foot. That said Taco Bell is okay for one girl while going out for tea is right for another. People like different things so let dates indicate more about what she would get in relationship with you.

    Add to it what is expensive to one person may not be to another so perhaps spending can be relative to income. For me, a guy spending more than $50 (and that's a lot to me so it would depend on the rare situation such as he knew I wanted to go to some event and he bought us tickets) in early dates total is someone I would feel unsure about his relationship with money and how his finances look. The long-term to dating is marriage. I don't want to end up with someone who makes stupid money decisions.

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  • i don't value money really, I have to have it to get by at the moment so I partake in the whole rat race bullshit, the moment I'm able to step away from that more I will. Therefore if a guy was making a point of flashing his cash it would leave a negative view, but on the other hand I can't be doing with misers. You can't take money with you so a guy that can buy a soda but chooses to save the cash until he's 90 wouldn't appeal either. If he's broke, then he's broke. Hopefully it's because things just aren't going his way at the moment and not because he's a useless arse who can't be bothered to work.

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    • Exactly! I don't care how little or much you have really but you need to have a healthish relationship with money. It comes and goes. I know I'd be right by my boyfriend's side if we went broke because he opened a business and it failed. I know that between us we'd find our way back within a short period of time. This is what makes me secure NOT MONEY. I feel secure because I know both of us are Davy enough to find a new road when one doesn't work out.

    • @sjoes006 exactly, the thing about some broke people is that they put themselves there when they don't have to be. A lazy person isn't really attractive, so it isn't the cash it's what your doing with yourself really.

  • No, in fact, if he flaunts his money and insists on making everything overly extravagant and expensive... it makes me uncomfortable. I care about the man I'm seeing, not how many bills he's willing to throw down to try and impress me. Just show me your soul damn it!!

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  • The most memorable first date I ever had was one where we went out for margaritas and chips and salsa. Guacamole costs extra, so I think he spent a grand total of about $18. I was in love with him before we ever even left the restaurant. For me, it's about attraction, connection, security, trust and being able to make each other laugh. Even if you 'forgot' your wallet at home, those things become clear pretty quickly.

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    • I agree nothing should muddy the waters from just enjoying the person on the other side of the table.

  • I've been on dates where guys have spent $200 on dinner, and I've been on dates where we've split the bill. Early on (first 1-3 dates) I like that the guy pays. I think it's a nice gesture. One of the best dates I've been on was to a Japanese restaurant, where we basically ordered everything off the menu so we could try a whole lot of different things. That was fun! But really, it's not about the money. Another great date I went on involved getting takeaway coffees and going to a park to people-watch (and make out, lol).

    I guess each girl will have a personal preference and mine is:
    - cost isn't too important
    - spending a large sum of money is impressive, but it's more about having fun and the chemistry between you.
    - I like it when the guy pays (or at least offers to) on the first three dates.

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  • If I felt like a guy was trying to impress me with his money I would feel like he has ulterior motives behind the date at hand (wanting to get laid), was quite insecure with himself, or has the wrong impression of me and that I'm a superficial person that thinks wealth is the most important thing I look for in a guy.

    And those are all things that are terribly off-putting.

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  • I voted C. I really don't care if you have millions in the bank or if you only have 1 dollar. To me, what's most important is the chemistry and how I am being treated.

    If a guy is going to just flash money around and try to impress me, but put no effort into thinking up creative dates or being nice to me then it's not worth it.

    Money only impresses people for so long. They need some actual substance to stick around.

    I would rather get to know the guy more than getting to know his money. Sure money is nice, but it's not going to keep me around if that's all he has to offer. I need a guy who can treat me right too.

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  • I personally couldn't care less. It's not like that date is going to support my financial needs. I think the best way to impress me is wings and beer at a busted diner over good conversation. That's the ultimate way to impress. I guess to each their own.

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  • Truthfully, paying a lot of money on a first date would scare the shit out of me. I'm not looking for anything serious right now - I don't want to be going to five star restaurants and feeling like I owe you something for taking me there.

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  • Honestly I would rather do something really low key and laid back for a first date. Like with one guy we went to the park by my house and talked and then went to a nearby creek and swam in our underwear lol. That's way more fun and exciting than an expensive dinner and a movie ya know?

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  • I'm a girl and I don't care how much he spends; all that matters is how he treats me and whether we have chemistry!

    thats how I feel

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  • I think it matters how much thought he puts into it rather than how much money it costs. I don't like when a guy tries to get away with being a cheap skate but I'm not gonna expect a 200$ dinner on our first date! I've been on dates with men who are really well off and normally spent that much so it wasn't a big deal to them and I've been on dates where a guy only paid $50 or even less or something for dinner at a casua place I really like and had just as much fun!

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  • No, I don't care about his money, it's all about the first impression, combination of his looks, personality, confidence, attitude, and things we have in common.

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  • It's about how much he spends and more about how well we connect. I don't like flashy guys. I'm not an object to be bought.

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  • Depends where we go but if he spends around $200 I'm not interested in my opinion that shows that he isn't what I want which is a simple man who likes the simple things in life

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  • I would honestly prefer it if he didn't spend like $200 on our very first dates, it would put too much pressure on our dates and I'd feel guilty if things didn't work out. Plus, it would almost feel like he's trying to buy me or something. Not attractive :/ I'd prefer to be able to pitch in for my part of the date, but I don't have so much money that I could spend $100 so freely. I prefer low-key dates.

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  • no. my boyfriend spent less than $5 on me on our first date and we've been together for a long time. it's what you do with the time that matters.

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  • I would feel really weird if a first date went beyond $30 lol. I would question the guy's judgment a bit.

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  • On the first date he just got me a drink and it wasn't over 10$ but it's not something I pay attention to. We've been dating for forever now, so now, it doesn't matter. And if it does, well, you should consider dating someone better than that.

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  • I think spending realistic money is the best thing. I had one boyfriend who is very stingy I think this was a sign for me that he doesn't like me because he makes a good money and doesn't like to spend anything on me but at the same time too much its not good! Always average is the best!

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  • I couldnt care less. Me and my boyfriend met online, when we first met we just did stuff together. Never ever did I think about money. In fact he doesn't have a lot XD But I dont care, I love him and we will make things work together.

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  • On mine and my bf's first date pretty sure he spent about £50+ pounds on me but I insisted on picking up some drinks and some tips which he was not 100% happy about. Even now he hasn't changed, always surprising me with gifts and outings. To show some kind of gratitude I do the same. We keep each other on our toes.

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  • The issue isn't how much a guy spends during a date. a lot men these days aren't even willing to make an effort into taking someone out on a date! They worry oh she wants me to spend spend spend what am i getting out of it NO. Show you're trying to get to know her and not worry what you're going to get out of it! Make fucking plans show some goddamn interest. Many girls can pay for their OWN meals. But if you're going to ask to you're not even trying. 😒😒

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    • I think that for the first date, if I ask her, I would pay, and find a place that I think she will LOVE!! Ladies, when a guy makes the effort to find a SPECIAL place, something you talked about, mentioned, or type of food you like, you need to RELAX, and ENJOY it, and EAT!! If you just pick at it, and barely eat anything, he will feel like the date is a fail!!
      BE REAL!! If you love the place, and the food, EAT, and be NORMAL, and let go of the social stigmas about ordering a salad, or if you eat more than him he will think something!!
      I make a SPECIAL EFFORT to find a place she will love, and if she doesn't eat much at all, I think she hates it, or has issues, and a second date isn't likely. . .
      We know you can pay your own way, but that isn't the issue!! It's about something that you would like, and maybe like us because we made that effort! Don't mess it up with not eating, or trying to pay!! Just smile, and let us have a Goodnight kiss!!

  • I pay for myself so it doesn't matter to me, lets just go somewhere decent and get to know each other a little. I don't need a red carpet and roses. Any girl who values that or thinks she is entitled to that, especially on a first date, probably isn't worth it in the first place.

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  • i think for the first date i wouldn't want it to be an expensive one, i think it would too over the top for someone i wasn't very seriously involved in and would feel a bit uncomfortable. I'd also feel like a free loader if it was really expensive and he paid for it all and that wouldn't sit well with me.

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  • More from Girls
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What Guys Said 16

  • I think it can influence how the guy is being view. BUt I think how the relationship is being viewed even more. This can vary from the personality from the girl.

    One girl can think that the guy is trying too much and maybe even get uncomfortable with it because "he" might expect sex from her that night.
    Another might think that this is how their relationship is going to be all the time.
    Another might feel special but will maybe feel less special when in the future less money is spend on a date.

    These are just three examples but there are various other possibilities. Some positive, other negative.

    I'd say keep it simple with fist dates and let things naturally grow.

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  • Eh nah.
    First date.
    Something fun and something that really shows her character.
    May take her to a buffet eh.
    Nice venue , good view , good food , good conversation pieces everywhere AND... you get to really see her character by the way she plans her meal.. the food she picks...

    Is she gonna pick a little of something , pineapple and oysters stacked side by side or is she gonna get a plate full of ravioli and go home with that right from the get go.

    Little details man. Look at the details.

    If it takes a bit of dosh to pick a venue such as this well I guess it'll be money well spent eh , also - excuse to splurge haha

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  • I purposely tend to spend just a modest, average amount

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  • A first date is the opportunity to 'get the ball rolling' and it shouldn't be about the monetary value as long as it's not completely crazy and blows your credit card. A nice restaurant is always a good option because it's a relaxed environment to spend time together and eat/drink at the same time.

    If the cost of something comes into it and she's more interested in £ signs, isn't that a 'red flag'?

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  • E is what I believe

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  • My rule for dating is never to spend more then 5$ on a date until we are in a relationship, at which point we each contribute equally.

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  • I don't just give up the goods...

    cheap/free dates are for seeing if we like each other.

    pricy dates are for girls you've had sex with.

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  • The date is nothing more to me than a backdrop of a scenario to get to know each other! ;-)

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  • You shouldn't go out of your norm just for a first date... be yourself, spend what you normally spend, or don't spend any money at all and see how it goes by just taking a walk somewhere nice, or even going for a ride (and no, not like that perverts!) Just saying, no matter who the girl is from Paris Hilton to the girl from a trailer park, money shouldn't be a factor for a first date.

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  • Of Fucking Course!!!
    If the person shows that he/she has money it will bling your heart. And dont believe anyone who says the other way! Money matters! Its not everything that matters but it does!

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  • This is such a lie. All girls want you to pay for them in some way on the first date. Can we blame them tho? I mean, it sort of is a test to see if the guy is applicable.

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  • No i just think of a fun idea we'd both like based on the stuff we have in common. I generally try to keep it inexpensive as I'm not the richest guy out there, and I'm upfront about it. Girls i know are cool about it. I go dutch a lot too so we both decide what we can afford.

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  • Sure it does. There's a EXTREMELY EXTREMELY RARE amount of women who don't care about it, but 8,9 and a half times out of ten they do (unless if you're a teenage boy or possibly a college student you can take your date to burger king or mickey d's and still be able to get a second date) If the "Its not the amount you spend, its the thought that counts" old saying had any truth to it, then no guy would have to worry about if they're spending enough on a date or not. I'm pretty sure that the number of women on GaG that say they wouldn't care about how much their date spend on them FAR OUTWEIGHS the ones who do care.

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  • these bitches all here lying with the votes. It's not like they go in thinkin about how much he will spend on me subconsciously they don't realize it but it's A.

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  • It could be a $20 meal or a $6 chicken with fries, either way if that is what sways the woman I am on a date with then I don't want to have date #2 with her.

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  • LOL... the dishonesty of women is endless.

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