Boyfriend hanging out with one specific girl. Am I entitled to feel that something isn't right with this picture?

My boyfriend and I have been living together 3 1/2 years. I love him and trust him and I fully believe that he loves me too. His sister lives by us. She's friends with a girl who's at her house often. Awhile ago, they came over and we all hung out. I couldn't help but notice that my normally quiet boyfriend was being extremely chatty with this girl. She's his age, friendly, and they had a lot to talk about. For the rest of that evening he acted differently. For instance, he's usually so tired at night and turns in before anyone else, typically in bed by 10, but stayed up until midnight just chatting it up. Not that I'm complaining, but after they left he practically ravaged me that night. Again, no complaints. We have a great relationship physically and emotionally. But even so, it was a little out of character on a work night and I couldn't help but feel that his, um... Passion may have been sparked by this girl's presence. He also acted, sheepish? Like he acts when he's guilty of something. A couple weeks later, I was in bed and he said goodnight. Totally out of character, I find he has left the house without a word. He had gone to his sister's. The girl in question was there. I was irate. He wasn't doing anything wrong, just visiting. But he didn't bother to tell me he was going and I felt it was done behind my back. It turned into a 3-day-break-stuff fight. Over the last few months I have caught him in lies, or at least omitting the truth, involving this girl. On a few separate occasions he's gotten home from work, and gone directly to his sister's instead of coming home. I've seen his car. I know he's there. I know she's there. I've asked him. He's said he got off late, or had to drive someone home. Conveniently forgetting to mention that he was hanging out with them for the last hour. Yesterday I pulled up and they were kicking it. I know he hasn't cheated. To my knowledge they're not conversing by phone. I'm still uncomfortable. Am I crazy? He says I am.

Thanks for the opinions. It at least makes me feel justified that I am not the crazy, jealous insecure girlfriend he keeps telling me I am. I know they haven't actually cheated yet. He's a home body. When he goes out, it's with friends & it's legit. He always ends up home in bed. I believe the only time they have hung out is at his sister's house, and she's my friend so nothing is happening there. My concern is if this continues, I'm afraid for what could happen. I don't want to be lied to.
And moreover, now that he's pissed again that I was being insecure, I just wanted a consensus if I'm in the wrong for feeling like his actions have not been appropriate. I can't help but feel if it were turned around, and I was hanging out with some guy, that he would not be too happy with that. Even if we were among company and not sleeping together. It's just not right.


Most Helpful Guy

  • That sounds suspicious as hell. If you are right, and he hasn't cheated yet, he certainly wants to. That is 100% the behaviour of a guy hoping something will develop. He may not have the courage to actually pursue it directly, but he is putting himself into situations that make 'accidental' things happen. The fact that he is either lying about it, or getting awfully close (saying you had to drive someone home and that's why you are late, without mentioning you were also sitting around hanging out with people for an hour or more, is pretty much lying in my opinion) is a really, really bad sign. He is getting aggressively defensive because he is guilty in his mind.

    I would be very concerned if I were you.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like they are cheating hun, sorry. It all rings too clearly with my ex husbands excuses and stories :(


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Sorry but I think he is cheating. You should tell him how you feel.

  • No you're not.

    This does sound suspicious.