Why don't I feel at home in my hometown?

i HATE my hometown, i had an extremely ROUGH past in this town and even tho i shouldn't hate the people as if they hurt me (it was my family), i just HATE them, i don't want to socialize get to know them, everytime i see someone from the past im reminded of my mistakes and the girls i USED to be and i immediatly dislike them, dont want to know them even tho i have seen them for years, dont have many friends but like 3 friends i hangout with. My family lives here (bro sis and mother) and i dont have fam anywhere else. Im 23 now and stuff needs to change but im just not happy and dont want to put effort in getting my own place here and settling here, i feel like all hope is lost. I dont have any family and friends in the city i want to go, nor do i study there and the feeling of starting all over again can make me feel shut out and left out. What should i do? Is it me? or is it my hometown? what can i do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sometimes a change of scenery and a fresh start is the right thing to do, sounds like the case for you.
    Save up some $$$ and find a place you want to move to, who cares if you don't have friends or family there, reinvent yourself and get a fresh start!
    You can always go back and visit, but moving several hundred miles away and starting over can be really good. Scary, but good. Before long it will feel like home and you'll have new friends and a new life, and if/when you go back to your old hometown, it will feel so foreign and far away... and you'll feel good for having the courage to go out on your own and start your own life without your past dragging you down

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    • my brother said i shouldn't move into a foreighn city so fast and that i first should stay here

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    • he said because i dont KNOW the area and its too big of a city... i dont have anything to do over ther e and i dont have my degree YET but still... what can i do? sometimes i feel confused and i have been living with my mom untill now but i dont want to anymore

    • Decide for yourself. It's scary moving to a big city where you don't know anything or any one. But people do it all the time and survive. Hell, that can be exciting, too!
      Especially with the internet, you can do your research beforehand and find a safe neighborhood to live in, line up a job before you move, and find social groups / clubs where you can meet new people (meetup. com for example).
      It can be scary, I'll say it again, but wouldn't it be scarier if you saw yourself 5 or 10 years from now still living in the same home town you've wanted to get away from, but because other people tried to talk you out of it, you stayed and are still unhappy?
      Life's about taking risks, and doing what YOU want to do. Tell your brother he can come visit you and make the move, I promise you won't regret it! You can always move back if it's not what you thought, but I bet a year from now you'll be so glad you moved and made that change :-) What city are you thinking of?

Most Helpful Girl

  • You're growing and seeing the outside world. It's normal.

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What Guys Said 3

  • It's you AND your hometown. You don't fit and you know it. I left the small town where I grew up, moved to Pittsburgh then Dallas and now Seattle and never looked back. I literally don't miss anything about the place. I don't have family there anymore so there's no reason to return. Since you have an unsupportive family it sounds like there's nothing holding you either. Is there a friend in another town you could stay with for a bit until you found some work?

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    • no i dont know ANYONE in that city

  • I hate my old school too. Don't want to make contact with my old class mates anymore.(with a few exceptions). Things will be better once you move out and have a new start In a completely new place :-)

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  • i hate my home town to, Im use to were i use to leave[5 years back0]. I think maybe u prefer the place u use to live

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