My boyfriend shut down completely when he found out we were having a baby?

We found out that I am pregnant 3 days ago and since then there has been very little conversation between the 2 of us. He has all but shut down completely. The only thing he really says is "I love you" and "God wouldn't put in front of us anything that we could not handle." This was unplanned and rather unexpected (I was on birth control) so its taken us both by surprise.
My question is how can I make this any easier on him. He has made it clear that he wants to keep the baby but he hasn't told me why he has become mute. I'm sure it has something to do with how unexpected this truly was and he simply doesn't know how to take it. Is there anything I can do to make this transition easier and less stressful? I'm adapting well enough and am becoming more excited with the passing day. So far, the only thing he said he is excited about it telling our other children because they have spoken frequently about wanting another baby around. I think that one of our main concerns about this is his mother. We want to keep it a secret for at least a month due to her reactions. When we had our daughter his mother bashed us all over social medias saying that our daughter was a mistake and it never should have happened.
Anyways, any advice you can give me is very appreciated!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Generally guys who want to be fathers are a lot more scared about having a child than the girls are. Probably has to do with the internal pressure of having to provide at all times.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He's probably just stressing out and trying to work through it. Give him some time and everything will sink in for him and then he'll go back to normal.

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What Guys Said 1

  • he's probably panicking. i thought i got a women pregnant about a year ago. her period was over a week late. at first i was scared shitless but then i got happy and excited and then i was sad when we found out she wasn't pregnant.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Let him have his shock.

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  • I would say this is somewhat normal if it was the first chd for either of you. But this isn't even your first child together, you aren't married and he is leaving you in the cold. It isn't your job to make him feel better, you are equally right to feel scared especially given his reaction.

    The worst thing in the world for a woman with an unplanned pregnancy is a bad reaction from the Dad. Because ultimately he can walk away and you can't.

    That sad give him a little time because it is a shock and kids are expensive. Men tend to worry about the financial aspect before they can get excited and that's kind of a good thing. He wants to be a provider but it certainly wasn't in the budget.

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    • That said you are really young to have lots of babies that weren't planned. Find a more reliable birth control method.

    • My first 2 children were planned. We are getting married in July of next year and we own our own business, home and 2 vehicles. We are financially stable so this is not the reason for his silence. We have well over $49 grand saved in a bank account. Yes I am young with 2 babies and one more on the way. Just because we are young does not mean that we are poverty stricken like some other young parents.

    • I do t know what to tell you then. It should be a happy thing so from what you just told me the outlook is more ominous. Maybe he is done with the relationship. Especially since he says he loves you in response to the pregnancy. That shouldn't have to be said and when it is it often mean I love you but...

      Good luck. 😕

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