I'm 30 and a virgin. Social anxiety has made it VERY difficult for me to even find a girl who likes me. However if it happens I want to have sex.
I was reading about older guys who are virgins and opinions of women what they thought. I lost faith in the human race for what I read.
Many women found this an instant turn off, and said they would leave the guy if they found this out. Reasons were inexperience equals bad sex, or it must mean something is wrong with him if he hasn't gotten any yet.
In my case my anxiety has affected my social experience and probably I do come off as low confidence or mabye just a turn off for women. But is rejecting me because of that really ok? My body works perfectly fine, I have a high desire for sex and to be in a relationship. I am not selfish and can care about someone else. Why is being a virgin an automatic no when you don't even know me?
Im going to be honest I'm scared right now. I cannot accept never having sex, death would be better than that at this point. But if women are going to reject me because I'm 30 and a Virgin and I've never even gotten to date or be in a relationship is there really any hope at all? If this is true society makes me sick, if women don't have to cook or choose not to have kids and still can get a partner and get married, why can't male virgins have equal opportunities?
I have another kind of anxiety and would be open to dating and sleeping with a guy who was a virgin from social anxiety if he was also working on his mental health. I do a lot of work to stay functioning myself.
I am in the same boat, no dating, no love from girls. Even now when i realize that some girl from the past may have liked me, she never made real effort. And everybody can tell that im shy, or have some sort of social inexperience.
Girls have said that i am cute and whatever, but mostly i took it as a thung of me being shy. But really i dont even meet girls. I dont know where they are. I dont know where to go to find them. I could guess that they go to the gym, i can guess that they go to work, but that isn't really a place to pick up women.
Besides i can't even get a decent job. i have my education but society hasn't let me have a good job yet. So where would i be able to go with a woman? Nowhere, so im not holding a candle out there for love and sex or anyhing like it. If it happens, it happens, but im not going to feel so bad about it that its going to make me hate everything about myself.
Even if i do find a girl to love one day or even go on a date and she finds out that I've never had sex. If she leaves i am just going to laugh at her, and i am going to spin her around to face me and i am going to tell her how pathetic she is. Yes everybody wants it, yes everbody wants it to look like the movies and or porn, but thus is real life. There is no such thing.
Just masturbate to yourself until you can get a girl. If you have a good job, and you have your own life, then you are halfway there
Own it, be confident in yourself. Whether you're a virgin or not, make it as casual sounding as possible when you bring it up and don't bat an eye whatever their reaction.
If you are self conscious about the fact you're still a virgin, women will sense this, and being insecure is a turn off. The right woman will accept you for who you are, but first you have to accept who you are and know that you aren't any less of a catch JUST because you're a virgin at your age.
as if you walk around with a sign on your head that states your age and how many partners you've been with? What the heck?
Or do you instantly upon meeting someone just open your mouth and say i'm 30 years and a virgin, hi! ? what is wrong with you?
if someone likes you they start to get to know you, go on dates and so on... why does this personal information have to be given out upon meeting? i thought that was intimate information... I suppose not to many people, such as yourself.
so how i see it, people usually dont' "need" to know this information... maybe after sometime of having known them, they'll probably like you by then, and THEN you reveal this information if it so happens to be inroduced into a conversation.. and by then since the person already likes you, it doesn't come off as a turn of... (or shouldn't) at least that's how I think. ... but just giving out this info upon meeting, that doesn't only push people away, it actually seems rather desperate and creepy.. like why would anyone need to know that upon knowing you? WTF? xD Keep that info to yourself and wait to talk about it at an appropriate time.
It isn't a dealbreaker. Everyone has their own pace of social development. I know this bothers you, but you can't make it the main focus of your interaction with women. It's perfectly normal to be insecure, but being very, very open with your insecurities early on can be a turn off. You don't want to come off as though you're obsessed with having sex and ashamed of yourself or something.
It isn't a turnoff... As a fellow virgin, I think id rather have sex with another virgin.
Mate it's ok! Maybe loose it to a friend of yours who understands? Have a fuck buddy to get your confidence up? Chill out and don't worry about it, I understand what anxiety is like and I think you can overcome it. Make a promise to yourself that you'll have sex if you want to. I believe you can find a nice girl and be in a relationship have confidence in yourself! :)
im a virgin yet i want an experienced man who would wait til marriage but guys who are experienced don't like waiting so its a lose lose situation for me i wouldn't mind dating a virgin man but it would be a bit awkward cause we both won't know what to do in bed when we get married
Attraction and emotional connection are important to me. I dont care about his sexual experience at all - unless he's been around and got an STD - I am sure you'd be eager to learn how to get your woman off and that is all I'd like to see.
Its just an opinion, but what do you actually know about pleasing a woman anyway?
It's not the women that are at fault, stop putting blame on others and you'll get further in life. The ONLY person holding you back is YOU. Go out there, swallow your pride and try, even if you're scared as fuck, that's what bravery is all about, facing your fears. Stop being a coward and actively try to make a difference in your life. I mean this with as much love as possible man 👍.
Dude ! If you ever get there and she seems unsure, just tell her that you have been waiting all your life for the woman that you thought was worth it and that it's her. If it doesn't melt her heart, she's a robot.
if I were you, I would look at dating older "Cougars". There are internet sites for that sort of thing. Your lack of experience and non-threatening demeanor would actually be downright appealing to them.
You hand must hate you just about. But on the seriousness, please don't live the rest of your life wondering what if. Just prep yourself with YouTube channels and read about body language. Checkout simple pickups on YouTube. BTW! I too suffer from social anxiety... and am DAMB handsome.