I'm in a bit of a situation or maybe I'm just being a selfish materialistic girlfriend. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. The relationship has been the best I've ever had. He talks about marriage and moving in.
He's Korean. We celebrate 100, 200, and 300 days of dating. I'm not Korean. On our first 100 days of dating he completely shocked my pants off and bought me the bag I had been eyeballing for months. I'm not an overly excited person so he was a little worried I didn't like it. Eventually he believed that I was in love with the bag. (Because I was)
On the 200th and 300th day he DIDN'T get me a gift. I rationalized that it was reasonable. We had our first argument the day before the 200th and the 300th I said not to get me anything. I was expecting him to get me a Christmas gift. That wasn't too far away. In fact I even said that to him as well. Secretly though, I thought he still would. He didn't. He said, "You're going to have to wait. I didn't have time."
I leaving the day before Christmas so I thought the days before he might give me my present. He knew I had gotten him one. The night before I left he said he didn't know I wanted a gift. I didn't really know how to respond. I figured it was a given. It's not like he's never dated before. He said he use to buy his last girlfriend designer bags all the time. I know he works a lot. I know he has money. He spent $275 on a gift for MY grandmother's 80th birthday present.
I get home. No present for me.
Today is our one year anniversary. I am not expecting to get anything. I'm expecting nothing but dinner and netfilx. It makes me feel not important. I'm not worth anything to him but the fact that he can say he has a girlfriend. I'm depressed and don't feel like I want to go out for our anniversary. I'm not excited AT ALL.
Is not gifting normal?
- Stop being such a winy B****Vote A
- Give the guy a brakeVote B
- He doesn't careVote C
- Brake up with himVote D
- Tell him how you feelVote E
- It's your fault. You should have told him how you felt.Vote F
- Tell him exactly what gift you want next time.Vote G
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I know a little bit about Korean culture, and apparently Christmas is a period for couples to spend time together, not give presents to each other. He spent a lot of money for your grandma, because in the Korean culture, you're supposed to impress the family of your partner, more so than your actual partner.
All in all, I think you're expecting too many presents. Far beyond what is reasonable. Instead of the amount of presents, look at the amount of time he spends with you or the amount of time he spends sending you text messages/calling you. If you hardly ever see him or hear from him, then you should talk to him about it. But don't go around demanding more presents.3