Ok I seem to have some challenges finding guys I like to date. So here are my "standards":
1) Intelligent, witty, and knows a variety of topics (I'm not interested in people who only talk about TV or movies or celebrities or parties). He has to be fast and I like smart come-back lines. At least college-graduate
2) Is knowledgeable and passionate about his career (and yes, must have a successful career that has great growth potential, or an ambitious entrepreneur)
3) makes at least as much as I do, but of course I prefer people better off than I am
4) appearnace: height- i prefer 6 but really, at least 5"10. has to dress smart and I have to find him somehow attractive
5) exercises and be at least fit (doesn't have to e super toned or buff, but fit, yes)
6) has great travelling experience and knows his stuffs (be it food, wine, whatever hobbies)
7) kind and has generosity of spirit
8) not clingy and responsible
I don't think I'm asking too much as I myself am:
- intelligent (I am working on my PhD), smart (when it comes to work and in social situations), resourceful
- I'm self-employed, make over 200K and am from a good family
- I'm 5"7 and I'm about size 4. I should be attractive (people look at me a lot when I go out and I do get people, strangers or people I just meet alike, asking me out a lot). I am fashionable as I care about styles and outfits
- i've traveled extensively and am quite particular with the things I like
- I'm independent and do not like to take advantage of people
And even I do meet guys, they seem to either back off (whether not interested or intimidated) or to develop way too much respect for me. I don't know and I'm a little frustrated with this. Are my standards too high or maybe there's something I can do to change this pattern?
Most Helpful Guy
There are guys who are over 6', make over 200k, and are also in good shape. Obviously there are smart guys as well, with varied interests.
Something like 1% of men in the u. s. probably make your income cutoff, and they'd be skewed go guys over 40, so guys in their 30's, we will generously assume 1% of them make 200k+. Most of those guys are pretty bright (not all, but most). Lets assume half of them aren't socially awkward: they're reasonably witty and quick as well as being smart. So we're at half a %. At least half of those are likely under 5'11. Probably 2/3 don't work out. We're down to.1%. I considered how many of them are single.
Now lets get to your next problem. Tons and tons of women want these guys. It's not like the average woman making 50k is thinking 'oh i don't want a guy who earns 200k+'. Most women like tall guys, most women like funny guys, most women like guys who earn a lot. And in general, these guys don't have quite the same requirements you do. The reality is, you may be looking for a guy who is similar to you, and that seems fair. The unfortunate reality is that a lot of the qualities you have, boost a man's value in the dating market MUCH MORE than a woman's. While some guys who earn a lot want a woman who earns a lot, tons of them are happy to marry nurses, teachers, whatever, as long as she is reasonably bright, sweet and can fit in to their social group (and i'm talking for marriage, for dating, they don't even care about that part much).
You always have the chance of finding someone you just match with, but you're aiming for guys who are the absolute top of the dating market. Your competiion for these small groups of men is staggering.
I don't honestly know any guy who meets your standards. I know one guy who was on track to (and might mean them by now). He was hired for an ibanking rotation, if he's still there he may have cracked 200k by now. Over 6', worked out, not obsessively, had travelled, varied interests, funny. Even when he was earning 80-100k, he was getting women who were bright professionals and '8 or 9's lookwise throwing themselves at him for nsa sex.
It's unfortunately a common 'trap' - high income women want similarly high income men. A significant number of those high income men happily date or marry beatiful, lower income women, leaving the rest of the guys to be fought over by the remaining high income women who aren't interested in dating down.5
Most Helpful Girl
Well you sound a little intimidating to be honest. Not with the way you are but how you feel about it. Guys like successful women but they may not like it when they put themselves up higher than they are. Now I'm never one for lowering standards but it is a little far fetched. There a lot of great guys that you may not date because you didn't give them a chance. Not everything's about how successful they are or whether they make as much as you. I guess the point I'm making is be careful not to miss someone amazing because you can't see beyond the shallow things.1