The one who asked the other person out on a date should be the one who pays regardless of gender, agree or disagree?

The one who asked the other person out on a date should be the one who pays regardless of gender, agree or disagree?

  • Agree
    67% (38)64% (29)66% (67)Vote
  • Disagree
    33% (19)36% (16)34% (35)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If I had that opinion, I'd very rarely have to pay on a first date then. Since I'm usually not the one doing the asking.

    I think if you both agree to do something, the person being asked should at least offer to pay their share and not expect to be paid for. I also think first dates should not be expensive. The point is to get to know each other, not spend money.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Split, always split.

    The problem with 'whoever asks, pays' is that women just won't ask. We know women, more than men, like to sit around dropping invisible hints until the guy they want comes around knocking on their door.

    It sounds equitable in theory but no, crunch the numbers and the ratio of interest in someone vs. expenditure is going to be less for females than males.

    So the best solution for our culture to adopt is for everyone (unless it's a surprise) to pay for your own shit until your relationship is cemented.

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What Girls Said 12

  • If someone asks someone to attend an event with them it is the intitees right to assume that their bill will be covered.

    I feel like it goes both for romantic and platonic situations.

    Once a friend's family invited me to dinner with them. It was my friend, their three siblings, and their parents. And when the bill came, the dad straight up said that he wasn't paying for me.

    I was 12.

    The fuck do you think I get money, bro?

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  • Absolutely! Suggesting a fancy restaurant and then telling them to pay is a dick move

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    • I've been invited to those kinds of places when I didn't have a lot of money, but I always assume that I'm going to pay my half, so I just said that the place was too expensive and suggested a different place.

  • I disagree. You agreed to go on the date which means you want to see him or her too, so you should be willing to pay for your own plate or drinks. If you don't have the money to go to a fancy restaurant, you can always suggest a cheaper restaurant instead of that fancy restaurant.

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    • You would suggest a cheaper restaurant, and I would say "don't be silly, I am inviting you out- it's on me." What is your response?

    • @Metlahaed I used to always insist on paying or paying the next time/round, because I didn't want to feel like I owed them anything. The more people I met, the more I noticed, some people of both genders just genuinely don't care about money and how they spend it. They don't keep score and are surprised that I remember to pay them back, so it's kind of fruitless to fight with them about who gets to pay.
      Since I don't know whether you are one of those people or not, I'd say "That's nice of you, but it's really not necessary. I'm not dying to eat in this fancy restaurant. That X restaurant makes great food too."
      Now.. if you are one of them, you'd probably say something like you chose this restaurant, and you really want to go, and again it's no big deal. Then I would ask are you sure. And if you said the third time that you're sure, I'll accept your offer and say thank you, and depending on our plans for the night.. I'll suggest that I pay for the movies, or drinks at the bar or so.

  • Completely agree!!!

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  • I feel that the offer should always be Dutch; but if one person WANTS to pay they can. I honestly pay more often than not. But I don't think gender matters at all in the equation for the record.

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  • If they invite you and take you somewhere of their own choice (even if with your own agreement), they should pay for it or at least assume they will (they may not pay for everything in case you wanna pay for yourself, like most men and some women do).

    Then if you go for coffee afterward, it's Dutch. It's always nice or even polite if the person offers to pay in return though.

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  • I think people someday will change to make it equal!

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  • I absolutely agree with this, however, I will still offer to pay for mine or both and be happy to do so.

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  • i think that people should pay for themself... If i ask a guy out i won't pay for him unless we were dating and he didn't have any money. The same goes for the guy, if the guy asks me out, i dont expect him to pay for me.. unless im broke and he insists on taking me out

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  • Disagree. They should split the bill.

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  • I agree but I'll still ask if they want me to get mine. or both. .

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  • No, I think I would prefer to just split the bill.

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What Guys Said 18

  • Not really. I've been asked out on dates by women and I always went expecting to pay my half. There's always the argument that if they invite you to an expensive restaurant and expect you to pay they're assholes, but how hard is it to suggest somewhere more affordable? I'd feel like a cheeky bastard expecting to be paid for.

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  • Disagree. Just because someone invites me to an event does not mean they should have to pay for me. If you don't have money for it, say so and then they can decide whether or not they can or are willing to pay for two. Better that than surprise them at the end of the date. "Whoops, left my wallet at home. But you asked me out, so you should pay anyways". We call that a leech.

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    • But honestly it seems silly. Customarily a guy should be the one to ask a girl out. That's why guys get advice on how to approach women and women get advice to be more approachable.
      Now we add in a custom of "whoever asks, pays for the date"... really?

      When I ask a girl out, my company should be enough without the assumption of a free meal. Otherwise, why go out at all. Dating shouldn't have to be expensive for the askers.

  • vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/.../latest

    Before I go anywhere, I always discuss the finances. I still can't believe people get themselves in such an avoidable dilemma by simply not discussing beforehand.

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  • If it's a first date then the one who invited pays - it's only customary. But there's nothing wrong with the other person to suggest that they'll cover for themselves.

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  • Well, i disagree on this one. Even though i hate unwritten rules of dating and relationships, there's this ritual that has to happen at the first date no matter who asked whom out,
    guy tries to pay like it's what's supposed to be, girl intervenes and offers to split, they insist slightly on each other, in the end girl concedes and guy pays for the date. Even though it looked really long when i put it down here, it's only supposed to take like twenty seconds.

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  • Disagreed.
    Just watch your own bills and pay your costs. You might insist on paying your partners too but I have not much clue about that. Or you could split it in half.

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  • I think everyone should be expected to pay for what they get and if the other person decides to pay for everyone that's up to them

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  • I prefer splitting the bill, we're adults. It's got less gray area (who pays for every date after the first date?)

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    • And plus, it isn't a fair standard when men are expected to be the ones who ask out a girl. If the asker always pays and men are always the asker then it isn't all that different from just expecting the man to pay.

  • Aye, that sounds very sensible. Of course, an offer to split the bill should be accepted if presented.

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  • No. The bill should be split evenly until a trusting relationship can be built.

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  • I don't know, but I think you just found a flaw in the system.

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  • They should be the ones to pay after all they did the inviting it wasn't your idea and being only thirteen what was he thinking why invite you in the first place of he wasn't planning on paying for it the one that does the asking does the paying

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  • I think that either can pay no matter the circumstances

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  • Sure. And that is why women never ask men out on dates.

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  • Well seeing that my girlfriend is Dutch we always go Dutch on food and stuff

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  • Disagree, just pay for yourself.

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  • And since 95% of women don't ask men on dates... you're saying that men should pay.

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  • Eh that would only be fair if like 90 percent of dates weren't STILL initiated by men. I usually go dutch and nobody has complained yet.

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