Ending College Career.. How do I make the both of us happy?

Llittle background-- we've been dating for a little over a year now. My boyfriend graduated this spring and I'm graduating this fall. He's been living with his mom and working part time at the liquor store and part time as an EMT. Next fall he'll be able to start the 2 yr paramedic program for free with left over scholarship. However, this scholarship is for the state of New Hampshire. We both did our undergrad in NH, he's from NH but i'm from Maryland.

I'm torn between staying close to him in NH or moving back home to be closer to family. I've been away from them for over 4 years and really miss them. I'm also battling depression and sucidal thoughts as my extra semester of schooling in NH has me alone as everyone I know has graduated and my boyfriend lives an hour away- only able to see him twice a week if I'm lucky.

He's told me on multiple occasions that he doesn't think long distance can work and any more than 4 months long distance he considers impossible and not worth it. I've asked him what if I had to take a job that was near the school or near boston (2hours away). Would he move in with me or would he stay with his mom.. his answer was to get defensive about his mom and then he proceeded to tell me that an hour away is a long commute and it'd be better for me to communte than him because I'd have the higher paying job. So he thinks I should move to town nearby his work instead. Meaning I'd either be living alone again or commuting hour plus to work every morning. Plus I HATE Boston.

I can't help feeling that I could find better jobs for myself, and higher pay if I were to look back in my hometown. There's really not a whole ton in NH and I've already applied for 20-30 jobs in the area and have been denied. Plus I feel like i'm putting my life on hold for 2 and half years until he's done and I'm free to find a job that I have more of a passion for. I'm worried I'll get too comfortable to leave and will fore


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What Guys Said 2

  • Do you love him? If its yes, or even a maybe, go back home for a little bit, then come back and be with him. Fight for it, see if you can move in with his parents, see if any new job openings open up in a few months.

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    • It's just him and his mom. They don't have room- he'd have to sleep on the couch if I moved in plus she's got crazy anxiety and I wouldn't be able to live with his mom for more than a day. I would go crazy. I DO love him, a ton! And maybe I am just extra homesick because I haven't seen my family in months, but I'm worried. I'm worried about how things will work out. And I'm worried I'll still be in the same awful depression I'm in now, 5 months from now-- still living alone in a state where I know noone but by my boyfriend. It's a lot to sacrifice when I'm getting no commitment from him on his part besides "maybe if your close enough we can move in together"

    • Well tell him this, tell him how much you love him, but if you stay you want to move in together.

  • He's just not that into you.

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