After knowing her for about a week i ask her if she has a boyfriend. She said yes. At first i thought aww that's sweet until she said... he's 28. WTF. (Obviously i was shock, even my other friends were to BUT WE JUST GIVE A SMILE) What do you guys think? Do you think he's using her.. or you think there nothing wrong?
Ah... I had a similar experience, except I was the guy. She was 17 and entering university and I was a 27 year old grad student.
I can tell you that I was no particular intention of "using" her. We got into a relationship and I was 100% optimistic that the relationship would lead to something long-term. However, it soon became apparent that we were in very different stages of our lives. I was getting into a career and wanting to settle down, and she was just getting her first taste of clubbing and late night drinking and partying.
When it became obvious to me that the relationship wouldn't work out, I did not break up with her. Since there was nobody else to be with at the time, and she was smoking hot, I just let the relationship drag on for 2 years for the sex.
In retrospect, I think it's nearly impossible for this relationship to work, unless the guy is of such maturity that he's a 28-year old with no education and living in his parent's basement playing video games all day. If that's the case, and he has no real future ambitions, the two would be at similar levels of maturity and state in their lives. But if he is a well-educated person with big career aspirations and wanting a future family, this relationship is going to crumble. He'll be 40 years old before she's ready to have kids.
Whatever. Its her relationship, if she is happy and her parents don't seem to have a problem with it then whatever. If she comes to you and complains about him and he isn't treating her right then you have the right to worry. At this point none of you can say if its right or wrong and you shouldn't make assumptions because of the age difference. If he was 38 and she was 28 no one would care. Honestly let it be unless she comes to you informing you that something is actually wrong and she is actually being mistreated.
I wouldn't say he's necessarily using her, but... that's not a healthy age difference. He's WAAY ahead of her in so many areas of life, and the power difference in that relationship is kind of nuts. If she ends up doing things he doesn't like, if he wants to he can probably manipulate her, and can certainly make her life hell unless she "behaves." It's not a situation that would make me comfortable, even though is *could* (in theory) be harmless... it's so easy for that to be bad.
My girlfriend is 10 years younger than me... but then, we're both much older :p
Apart from her being underage, I don't see too much of a problem. In some countries, 18 y/o marry 40 y/o men. It's human nature. You can't really say anything or it will push her more to him. I'd say let it run it's course, and remind her to use protection.
Well if he is using her, then she is letting herself be used. Also in the country where I live, this would be totally legal.
I always can't help but feel that the underage girls look for guys who are above 24 and such because those guys actually have money, and getting to do things for free with some guy who's "mature" will make them feel more "mature". In the end, that's how you end up to be a walking wallet.
Chances are he is using her, but a lot of girls that age do also desire an experienced guy to get their first sexual experiences with. So if she is completely fine and willing to go that route, then I don't think anything is wrong with it.
I can't say much on it because in my extended family (from Mexico) my mom's parents had a pretty big gap in age. I had asked my grandma once how old my grandpa was because I could easily figure out my grandma's age (she had my mom when she was 17). The age difference was definitely 10+ years. They, of course, lived a happy life together until my grandpa's tragic car accident when i was a little kid
I think it depends on the people really, mature people can push the extremes of social acceptance without much trouble, but if they can't be deliberate and cautious then it's really not a good idea to be a couple.
I think that guy have spent some time with your friend to scan her mind. When he found that she is not mature enough to think about it then he proposed her. May be her mother also told her some good things about that guy. And when she saw and heard all the things, she said yes to him. But she didn't think about the consiquences.