I've noticed a lot of females on here claim they don't approach guys because it would make them feel those ways. I'm curious if any guys feel the same when they do. or if you avoid making a move on women altogether for the same reason?
I've never had a problem approaching women. I've always been pretty good at reading the little "tell tale" signs that women give off in their body language which basically gives you permission to approach them.
Nevertheless, I HAVE been rejected... many times. But none of the girls did it in a manner that was disrespectful or hurtful. Some of them even thanked me... "Oh thanks! You've totally made my week - but I have a boyfriend!"
Men have to learn to take rejection. Part of becoming a man is learning that failure happens from time to time. You don't take it personally... you pick up and move to the next girl... and there is always a "next" girl.
It's really hard because you put yourself out there. I almost never would approach a woman in a group keep that in mind if you're ever out with your friends and you see the guy you like he's not going to approach you. Usually there are some girl in the group who is in a man hater mode and will say some crappy things to a guy when he does approach you trust me I've seen it happen. My recommendation if you're in a group approached the guy because he will not approach you in a group and if he does approach you in a group I would question his motives.
It's kind of weird. I don't feel desperate but it can feel a little creepy. Because let's be honest here. If some random guy walks up to some random girl and starts a conversation with the goal of asking her out or getting her number, the implication is clear: "Hey I think you're attractive and I'd like to have sex with you eventually, how about it?"
Meh, I'm good at doing it now but I wasn't always. I think it's perfectly valid for other men to feel uncomfortable about the fact society puts pressure on them to 'be a man' and approach.
Yeah, women that are complaining about being labeled a 'slut' (I mean, who actually does that?) or desperate aren't really voicing concerns that are exclusive to one gender. A guy can get labelled a creep AND he can get into legal trouble if he is too aggressive / persistent when he makes an approach.
It's rare that that happens but it's still perfectly possible. More sympathy is required for the man's perspective.
I feel like diluted creep/desperate/douch. I find it fascinating how I can speak to anybody and be cool until I know I'm going to get a number, then my verbal diarrhoea becomes verbal constipation. I feel like if I approach, she knows I'm going for her and I think that I'm bothering her. Like I should grab a ticket and wait in line for the other guys who have approached her.
I mean when you are 46 and single and have never been married and no kids and everytime you approach a woman the answer is no. I mean I have had women tell me that's a big red flag. So I think women view me as creepy and desparate not a good combo
I avoid making a move when it seems like the girl is more interested in someone else or has a boyfriend. Even tho things seem to change quickly, I just saw one friend kissing another girl and the girl who I was with saw it and went out right after (one girl I have feelings for) so I guess I am not even in the running.
Except in practice it's very difficult for females to look "creepy" or "desperate," it's mostly in their heads. Whereas for guys their fears are actually justified to some extent, we see girls calling guys creepy all the time. It really looks like we can be totally sincere and nice but if it's not awesome then it's awkward, and if it's awkward then it's creepy, then oh fuck somehow we've gone from friendly to creepy through no real fault.