GUYS: do you ever feel desperate, creepy, or like a weirdo when approaching women/girls?

I've noticed a lot of females on here claim they don't approach guys because it would make them feel those ways. I'm curious if any guys feel the same when they do. or if you avoid making a move on women altogether for the same reason?

  • I feel desperate sometimes
    18% (3)10% (7)11% (10)Vote
  • I feel creepy sometimes
    0% (0)18% (13)14% (13)Vote
  • I always feel desperate
    6% (1)5% (4)6% (5)Vote
  • I always feel creepy
    6% (1)4% (3)4% (4)Vote
  • I feel just fine, no issues
    12% (2)19% (14)18% (16)Vote
  • I never approach because I fear being creepy
    6% (1)22% (16)19% (17)Vote
  • other (explain below)
    52% (9)22% (16)28% (25)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I dont aproach people as often but when I do I dont feel creepy at all I feel good meeting new people. if they dont feel like talking Ill talk to someone else even if they think Im weird or a creep.

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What Guys Said 31

  • I've never had a problem approaching women. I've always been pretty good at reading the little "tell tale" signs that women give off in their body language which basically gives you permission to approach them.

    Nevertheless, I HAVE been rejected... many times. But none of the girls did it in a manner that was disrespectful or hurtful. Some of them even thanked me... "Oh thanks! You've totally made my week - but I have a boyfriend!"

    Men have to learn to take rejection. Part of becoming a man is learning that failure happens from time to time. You don't take it personally... you pick up and move to the next girl... and there is always a "next" girl.

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  • I just feel fed up of women because even when you do nothing wrong and approch in a respectful way you get labeled a creep anyway or have her reject you in the most mean and nasty was possible.😞

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    • have you actually heard a woman call you a creep, or you're just assuming they think you are?

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    • I consider guys creepy when I make it clear I'm not interested and they continue to harass me. looks have nothing to do with it.

    • Asker: It is good to know that looks don't come into it for some women.

  • It's really hard because you put yourself out there. I almost never would approach a woman in a group keep that in mind if you're ever out with your friends and you see the guy you like he's not going to approach you. Usually there are some girl in the group who is in a man hater mode and will say some crappy things to a guy when he does approach you trust me I've seen it happen. My recommendation if you're in a group approached the guy because he will not approach you in a group and if he does approach you in a group I would question his motives.

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    • why question his motives just because you're in a group?

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    • I always put myself in the opposite person's shoes if you were a man and you saw woman you were attracted to would you approach? If there's a huge group of girls around and you know at least one of them is going to make a snide comment you wouldn't go over there. Also I contact later eyes linger a little bit women always look away way too soon!

    • yea, the eye contact freaks me out. it's too intimate for me to handle doing it prolonged.

  • I'm fine. I'm calm. I'm chill.

    Then I get rejected and try again.

    And fail...

    *repeat*

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  • I felt sometimes a bit nervous. I never felt desperate or creepy.

    I've never been called a creep, to the best of my knowledge. If I were, I think my response would be not to give a shit.

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    • that's good. I usually laugh at men who call me bitch, try to insult me in some otger way after I turn them down.

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    • I don't insult them. men insult me after I reject them. you're getting confused.

    • No, I understand you. If you look in my original sentence, I asked, "If someone did insult YOU as HE rejected YOU..."

  • It's kind of weird. I don't feel desperate but it can feel a little creepy. Because let's be honest here. If some random guy walks up to some random girl and starts a conversation with the goal of asking her out or getting her number, the implication is clear: "Hey I think you're attractive and I'd like to have sex with you eventually, how about it?"

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    • I always just think he finds me attractive. now, I'm going to start assuming their all thinking about fucking me the moment they say hi. thanks. :/

    • Glad to be of help. I mean if he finds you attractive then he most likely wants to have sex with you, it kind of goes hand in hand

    • thank you for understanding girls.

  • Sometimes I feel as though approaching in situation X would make me feel creepy or desperate, so I just don't approach. I don't want to feel that way.

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  • Meh, I'm good at doing it now but I wasn't always. I think it's perfectly valid for other men to feel uncomfortable about the fact society puts pressure on them to 'be a man' and approach.

    Yeah, women that are complaining about being labeled a 'slut' (I mean, who actually does that?) or desperate aren't really voicing concerns that are exclusive to one gender. A guy can get labelled a creep AND he can get into legal trouble if he is too aggressive / persistent when he makes an approach.

    It's rare that that happens but it's still perfectly possible. More sympathy is required for the man's perspective.

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    • why should there be more sympathy for a guy who's aggressive in his approach?

    • It depends what we mean by aggressive here.

      For example, I found I had more success stopping a woman to get her attention boldly from in front of her rather than trying to meagerly stop her from the side or walking next to her.

      I would also hesitate to say that I find her attractive because I was scared that would cause her offense. Instead I would kind of beat around the bush saying things like, "oh, something interests me about you", "hmm... that coat looks nice" etc., etc.

      I got a lot of 'cat-faces' and bitchiness.

      I found I get far more respect for saying something like, "hey. I just saw you and thought you were drop dead gorgeous. I wanted to come over and say hello."

      Point is, a lot of guys are scared to cross those boundaries, and ironically, the more scared you are, the more likely it is that you risk doing something inappropriate.

      Then there are guys that genuinely are just creeps and low lives whom I have no sympathy for and really do belong in the back of a police car

  • I feel like they're thinking "why is this random guy talking to me" that's why I hesitate sometimes

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    • hmm, some maybe. for me, it all depends on his approach. if he's being respectful or pushy, getting too close makes me uncomfortable even if I'm attracted to the guy

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    • haha, that's cute. ask for a hug instead of a high 5. if she says yes then you should be good to invite her out sometime.

    • yea it sounds like a better idea aha

  • More of a fear of being rejected not a creep, I have never been called a creep before.

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  • Anxious is what I feel.

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    • I feel anxious when I catch a guy looking at me too. probably scares them off. haha

  • I'm not a creep, so no.

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  • I'm afraid to make any move whatsoever because I fear rejection and being labelled a creep and possibly having to register as a sex offender.

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    • um, the sex offender bit is weird.

      refer to @alexious response!

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    • @Alexious I don't approach at all just in case something like that does happen. I'm not saying it always does but it can and very easily. I'd rather just make friends and progress from there, if anything.

    • I had and have the same problem. There were no men in my life growing up and all the women were feminists. Never a thought was given to my sexual development, and I was always made to feel like a threat.

      I was 19 when I lost my virginity. Since then I've had sex about 30 times, and I've still never had a girlfriend. It's over this very same thing. Nobody cares about how men feel. They just expect us to shoulder any amount of risk and never complain.

      And men have been put on the sex offender registry for less.

  • Hoes be tripping. Every girl i talk to think i wanna smash. You ain't even on my radar! Get over yourself...

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  • I feel like diluted creep/desperate/douch. I find it fascinating how I can speak to anybody and be cool until I know I'm going to get a number, then my verbal diarrhoea becomes verbal constipation. I feel like if I approach, she knows I'm going for her and I think that I'm bothering her. Like I should grab a ticket and wait in line for the other guys who have approached her.

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  • I only approach desperate, creepy and weirdo women.

    So i feel normal by comparison.

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  • I mean when you are 46 and single and have never been married and no kids and everytime you approach a woman the answer is no. I mean I have had women tell me that's a big red flag. So I think women view me as creepy and desparate not a good combo

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  • I avoid making a move when it seems like the girl is more interested in someone else or has a boyfriend.
    Even tho things seem to change quickly, I just saw one friend kissing another girl and the girl who I was with saw it and went out right after (one girl I have feelings for) so I guess I am not even in the running.

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  • I don't approach women. What I mean is, I don't hit on them. I talk to them as a "normal human being."

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  • It's a bit of both. My nerves will act up and I'll slip on my words a bit. The usual stuff.

    Mainly because I have little experience putting myself out there, but I've been getting better over the past year.

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  • It's a gamble. Some girls definitely make sure for you to feel that way when you approach them, sucks when it happens.

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    • I don't think I do that. I ignore guys who seem overly aggressive, but otherwise I'm nice when blowing guys off.

  • I feel weird with one girl because she might think I'm weird because I'm trying to get to know her. The other person is my neighbor, and I feel like I want to fuck her, a lot.

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  • I feel like I'll just get a "fuck off" and it'll be super embarrassing and I'll run into them again somewhere else and they'll laugh and point. I've never approached a women

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  • I feel like women already think I'm a creep or a weirdo without approaching them anyway.

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  • Of course we do. It's why we ask women to appreciate the first step.

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  • I feel pathetic cause many times I am unsure of what is the right thing to say.

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    • a simple hi and random conversation starter is enough.

    • @thewanderingme I know how to start a conversation but not how to continue it.

    • then figure out how to start and quickly end a conversation instead. and finish off asking for her number.

      my mind wanders a lot so I tend to randomly change the subject often when talking to people. you could do that to keep it going.

  • I feel creepy when you girls behave like I'm a creep when I walk up to you.

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    • how does a woman behave like you're a creep?

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    • by deer in the headlights look do you just mean they look confused? did you ever think maybe you're just catching them off guard? that doesn't mean they think you're a creep

    • I guess if a man get the wit's to walk up a women they should be ready to respond with confidences and not with insecurity right. After all we do as men all the pressure of facing rejection.

  • I think it's all about confidence. Woman like that, so that's the approach I take

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    • yea, that's bs. confidence isn't as important as everyone here makes it out to be.

  • Of course guys do feel like that.

    Except in practice it's very difficult for females to look "creepy" or "desperate," it's mostly in their heads. Whereas for guys their fears are actually justified to some extent, we see girls calling guys creepy all the time. It really looks like we can be totally sincere and nice but if it's not awesome then it's awkward, and if it's awkward then it's creepy, then oh fuck somehow we've gone from friendly to creepy through no real fault.

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    • women get called desperate all the time too.

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    • I see guys laugh at women throwing themselves aat them all the time.

    • they either disregard them or take advantage of them then toss them aside.

  • ya sometimes i do, unfortuneately that doesn't help at all since it seems 99 percent of girls stubbornly flat-out refuse to approach a guy

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What Girls Said 3

  • The few times I've approached girls I feel desperate XD weird and creepy. All of those lol

    With guys I feel okay, it's not a big deal, with girls is different

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    • It's because you're pretty sure that if the guy isn't interested in you he's at least going to be cordial and decent with you. With women, you don't know what you'll get.

    • @Transigence exactly! XD
      Girls are so mean 😭

  • I've always wondered if guys felt this way. I actually feel bad that they have all that pressure on them lol

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  • Yeah I guess it's unfair that some guys are considered creepy for asking girls out.. even though they're expected to do it

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    • they're not actually considered creepy just for asking girls out, sometimes certain guys do things come off creepy. most guys here are just being paranoid, assuming they'll be considered creepy.

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