Why do girls always go for the guys who aren't shy?

So the reason I am asking this is because there is a new girl at school, I was the first guy to try and get to know her. She showed interest, until a guy who thought she was cute asked her out. I like her personality and looks (she's awesome, into photagraphy and drawing, not too nice but not mean). Today her friend tried to get her to sit next to me, and of course it was a no. Her now boyfriend was my friend, and used the fact that I play baseball to put me down. Another question, why in the world do girls seem like they like that? I'm a shy guy who was finally tring to "make a move", and this shit happens. She even has a cousin who has been here all 3 years of MS WHO KNOWS I'M SHY. She was one of the reasons I even went for it. So girls please tell me why you let this shit happen to us shy people? In my part I at least tried to stake my claim. I don't think ANYONE likes me now. I am just a 13 year old who plays video games, plays a little baseball, is way to skinny (and too tall for how skinny I am), and is SHY. Do I stand a chance girls, none of you seem to like baseball players. And guys, why do you do this shit to shy people? In this instance this guy, used that I'm shy, against me. Sure you like her, maybe you know her a bit, but if a shy person is finally putting forth an effort, don't fucking ruin him. This has happened to me, my friend Alex, and a few other friends of mine. Everytime we just sit there, depressed, and contemplate life. I've seen the other guys, either they don't care or they are crying. And we just sit down, and eat ourselves away. Give us a chance.
Shadow out


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Shy people are boring to be around.

    It might hurt your feelings, but it's the truth. If you're constantly fidgeting and people have to force sentences out of you, the conversation becomes more of a chore than an enjoyable pastime.

    The guy that used your weakness to boost his image in her eyes is a typical self absorbed asshole. Your female friend has gravitated towards his brash assertive manner since he raised himself above you and some other people and now she views him as a leader or sorts.

    She's young and impressionable and thus mistaken his assholish behaviour for confidence.

    I personally don't give shy people a chance when it comes to relationships, it's too much of a hassle to constantly coddle and reassure them.

    Friends? Not a problem. But if it's a person I want emotional compatibility with, a shy person is a nightmare.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Shyness just isn't attractive to women. Some will say they like it but more often than not they end up with other guys because they don't realise a shy guy is interested in the first place, and they're not confident to make a move themselves.

    If you want to fix this you need to get over the shyness, I speak from experience as I used to be just like you. The way you do it is to force yourself to do things you're too shy to do e. g. asking a girl out, telling her you find her attractive. Next time you feel like saying it or doing it, just do it. Most people want to wait until they have confidence before they do it, but it doesn't work like that, you get the confidence from forcing yourself to do it over and over again until you realise it's not that bad. The number one thing holding back shy guys is not being able to let a girl know they find her attractive or waiting way too long to make a move, because another more confident guy will always beat you to it, and your lack of action can seem like disinterest to a girl so obviously she'll choose the other guy. They aren't mind readers.

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What Girls Said 14

  • Because there the guys who make it known that they like you. From your story, you projected that it was only platonic. Girls don't assume that every guy who talks to them like them! You have to put a romantic spin on the interaction if you want them to know you like them as more than a friend, just chatting to someone doesn't make that clear... We're not mind readers unfortunately!

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    • I was trying to do more than chat. I did in fact, I asked her if she had a boyfriend right before she got on the bus. She said no, next day got a boyfriend. I make it REALLY obvious when I like someone.

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    • did he know you liked her? every man for himself though, you'll learn that the older you get. dont expect people to always factor your feelings into their decisions because majority of the time people just won't do that. and don't be jealous, you guys are pretty young, seriously give it 1 month and it'll be over anyway ahah

    • I'm sorry but for me that's not the way it works. I'm VERY VERY shy and working up that courage and getting put down completely killed me. It sucks

  • Why do girls always go for the guys who aren't shy?
    Beecause shy guys don't speak... how do I know you like me!

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  • for me, I don't go for the shy guys because I'm shy myself sometimes. I do find them adorable but it also means that if I date them I'll be the one who leads and initiate and I don't like that. It makes me feel less feminine and less surprised by the things he'll do.

    I hope it makes sense somehow

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  • um because guys who aren't shy actually show signs they like you haha. & are faster on moving on you... while a shy guy... we never know what they're thinking...

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  • there is nothing wrong with being shy. sometimes it works out for guys. it may be that you are going for the wrong type of girl. some of my ex's were shy. sometimes waiting it out is the best thing 2 do if a girl likes u n y'all are meant 2 be then things will fall into place but listen ur 13 dont stress girls they are nothing but drama n they shouldn't be that important

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  • i've always preferred the shy ones

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  • I'm thirteen, a girl, and I think my situation is similar to yours. Except, of course, it's the other way around. I prefer guys who are somewhat in the middle. Not too shy, because you don't want to make the girl wait. Just suck it up and go ask for her number or something. Not too bold so that you appear cocky and brash. I don't know. That's just what I think.

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  • We do... But it depends on how shy you are... She likes guys with a little bit of a wild side. Like let's go camping in Alaska. Lol

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  • Applause**

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  • Guys should always make the first move.

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  • I've always preferred the ones that would grab me and kiss me although when the shy ones do that it's a whole lot better, just show the girl some loving 😂

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  • Because girls are usually shy as well and most of us will never make the first move so if you're shy and she's shy where exactly will this be going?

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  • I find shy guys tend not to be open about how they feel. I never know if they are attracted to me or not. They leave me feeling confused and full of doubt about their intentions , due to not disclosing their true feelings. I need to know where i stand with a guy, but i never know with a shy guy.

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    • I make it really obvious for that reason. Do people just not like me

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    • Why dont gurls express their true intentions as well?

    • @keyspirits i always let people know my true feelings. I say the same to girls who are shy too... they need to let a guy know how she feels. It goes both ways. The question is asking " why do girls always go for guys who aren't shy" so my answer is tailored around that. Shy people in general are difficult to get close to. Whether they are male or female. I even find it difficult to be friends with shy girls because i never know what they are thinking and it's hard to get to know who they are as a person.

  • High school dating is all fake... it's all about being with popular guys (which confidence is usually derived). You'll eventually find a nice girl, when you grow up where people care less about that crap.

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What Guys Said 9

  • May be because the non-shy guys are willing to take more risks and exhibit more confidence compared to shy guys.

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  • Girls like confidence more than anything else. Shyness shows a lack of confidence so is a huge turn off. Dating is a competition and is never fair. It's a competition with few rules. The guy who gets and keeps the girl wins, there's no 2nd place ribbon. Sometimes that means hitting the competition where it hurts. There's no giving people who don't understand this a chance.

    Understand you are trying to win a competition, a competition where shyness means you lose, so overcome that shyness rather than accepting it, and you'll eventually win. Continue being shy and you'll always get beaten by the first confident guy who comes along. That's just how it works.

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  • TL; DR
    It's not that girls don't go for shy, they go for bold. Shy or not, they like a guy who steps up to them and asks them out properly. say something like, "hi, I'm ____, I think you are pretty and I want to take you out to dinner/ice cream/coffee." And take it from there.
    She says yes or no, it's whatever, but at least you know you took a chance.

    Also, you are 13, don't stress girls too much. They will always be around, but you need to get that diploma/degree and get a good job. No girl passed 25 like a no job bum, and I hope you plan to live that long. :P

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  • Tl;Dr.

    Think about it.. If you were a girl.. Who would you want to be with? The low testosterone shy nice guy or the strong manly man that influences the situation?

    #toughlovecoldhardtruthbrother

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    • I said I'm shy
      I got the shit beat out of me yesterday because someone was being a bully to a 6th grader
      I take charge of a lot
      Her boyfriend doesn't take charge of shit
      He is a football player who acts like he's better than everybody but in reality he waits for everyone else to make decisions and goes for things that are easy for him

    • Ya man well just do what you wanna do, any other guy in your way gets ran over. Nomsayin?

  • First, believe in yourself and your value. Second, imagine you are that girl you want. Now what makes you the best choice. Sell yourself. Build on your successes and learn from your failures.

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  • Because they are willing to actually ask them out.

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  • too shy and she might not notice you maybe if you fight against your shyness and with courage go up to her alwayed worked for me at least to a point solitude out

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    • She was new so I was able to do that. I just moved on. The other guy broke my foot so I don't think it's worth it

  • because thats how women are either accept it or become a hermit. well i like hermitism better to be frank

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  • Because it's easier to put no effort and get the not shy guy than it is to put effort and get the shy guy

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    • I was sold
      No effort needed
      He's just taller than me
      I got used to talking to her, then, it all went to shit.

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