Are my standards too high to get a girlfriend?

I dont think I am asking for that much since I have a lot to offer, but it just seems like its so hard for me to meet women who I actually want to date. I come across girls all the time who I will express interest in, and maybe go on a date or two with, but usually I end up losing interest in them because they aren't what I want. Here are my standards:

-She must be both my religion, and from my political background

-She has to be studying a good subject in college, something that she can get a job from (like Engineering, Medicine/Nursing (this is a massive bonus), Finance, Accounting, Computer Science, etc)

-She must be good looking (like 7+ out of 10)

-She has to be a reasonable height and weight, I dont lay down guidelines but if she is overweight or super tall/short that isn't really going to fly with me.

-She must compliment my personality and be both outgoing and introverted, since I am on the line between the two, and its hard for me to get along with pure extraverts or pure introverts because they are too extreme for me.

-She must be caring, selfless, and love kids since a big side passion of mine (outside of the office) is working with kids, and by selfless I mean like she puts others before herself (its hard to find girls like this now adays)

-She must be willing to put up with my ridiculous dreams and goals and support me in them (including my hope to move overseas to either Africa or India).

-Other things that aren't required but are nice are; love of tennis (someone who I can play with), ability to play instruments (piano or guitar preferably so we can play together), good cooking skills, fluency in another language (French, Spanish, or German are best), fun to be with, really caring of me (will surprise me with things every now and then, or just do little things to help me out), or really obsessed with travel.

Is this too much to ask for a girl? Should I take out some of my criteria to find more women?

I also have a lot to offer her, so its not like I require all this stuff but dont give anything in return. I won't get too into it but I am fairly good looking (according to most girls), I make better money then most, I'm in shape and tall, I love kids (obviously), and I have working fluency in both French and Spanish, as well as the ability to play piano.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think the problem here is that you set specific criteria for a potential girlfriend. It seems like if she's one inch too short or one "point" away from being attractive, she's an automatic reject for you. Cast that thought away and truly get to know people, and you might find someone right for you.

    • Yes, you make a good point, and that's the problem with having high standards, criteria is very important for them and that's because they don't want to waste their time with a woman whom they will be unhappy with in the long run, they don't want to compromise with their happiness, this is a good thinking, also what if the guy is also that good, he has lot to offer so why can't he have high standards for the kind of woman he wants in his life? After all a man of high standards deserves deserves the best. Yes he may or may not get what he deserves that's another thing.

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    • I think they are also aware that they are limiting their choices, so what? that's fine with them I suppose. They might believe that it's much better to rather remain single or wait for the kind the person they want instead of compromising on their standards and happiness.

      I don't see a problem with this thinking.

    • Yes I agree with your final stance!. it's fair.

Most Helpful Guy

  • There is nothing wrong with having high standards, don't feel bad about it. It's good to know that you respect and value yourself, I can understand it's important for you. I would say higher the standards you have means you are choosy/pick and that means you will tend to remain single for a long time but reading your post I suppose that's fine with you as well. I am not sure if you are trying or if you are just waiting for things to happen, but if you are trying then just keep trying and if you come across a woman who is exactly the way you want then it's good, if it doesn't happen, then be ready to accept that as well.

    You must remember that since you have high standards so that can also mean you may not get the kind of woman you want, so be mentally prepared to accept that consequence as well.

    I would say it's good to know you are confident and remember never settle for anything less than you deserve, don't compromise with your standards, don't compromise with your happiness, I am sure you don't want that as well, right?

    It's much better to be single instead of compromising on your standards to have a woman in your life!!, that's so illogical. You must be confident that you deserve the best.


What Girls Said 3

  • I think your standards are a little too high. You could find a girl who is studying accounting computer science and good looking and a healthy weight - maybe 10 - 20% of woman fall into this category. But a woman who has those qualities will not put up with you wanting to locate overseas - a girl studying social sciences, humanities, or who waitresses at pizza hut might put with up with a guy who wants to travel over seas. If you want her to conform to your expectations - you must also conform to hers.

    Either drop the standard that she has to have a professional math or science career

    Or drop the standard that she has to put up with you wanting to travel overseas to Africa or India

    Also finding a professional woman who loves children is also very hard - maybe 2-4% of woman fall into that category

  • Mother of God... Yes...

  • Yeah it is too much to ask from a female to do all those type of things. No one is perfect here. Try to lower your standards down and you will find your girlfriend in the future.

    • What standards should I change though? They are all pretty important, and I meet most of those standards so there has to be a girl out there just like me, right?

    • Not all the time, girls are different.

    • Perfect!!. Come on lady!. A wise person knows that nobody is perfect, haven't you heard of this saying " There is nothing like a perfect person but surely there will be a person who will be perfect for you". I know that nobody can be 100% perfect by themselves, that's impossible, what I am trying to say is there must be his version of "perfect", say for example if this guy's perfection standard is 80%, so that means if a woman matches up to 80% of his standards that's perfect, hence what he wants is a woman who will be perfect for him and not a woman who is perfect by herself!

      What do you think about this?

What Guys Said 3

  • Geez your standards are not at all realistic. You've probably dropped the pool of acceptable women for you to around a dozen in your entire metro area. The chances of those dozen women still being single, meeting you, agreeing to a date, and you making their standards is low.

    You're not only looking for a perfect girl, she must also want to move to a 3rd world country? Come on man. Get real.

    • What standards should I lower then? I can't decide cause they are all important to me, any suggestions?

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    • @JoeCensored.

      come on!!. His standards are high no doubt but they are not unrealistic at all.

    • @serious just think of the number of people he is actually going to go on a date with over the next couple years, and the likelihood he finds out they completely fit that description and want to move to a 3rd world country. I see it as less than 1% chance.

  • ... Good luck. You will need it

  • Why the hell would you want to move to Africa or India? Dude you're nuts