Why do some girls expect an expensive first date?

I don't know if i'm cheap or something... but I wouldn't mind at all having a first date just walking outside, talking and then eating at McDonald's xD.

But i've seen that most girls seem to think a guy should take them out at an expensive restaurant...
If you're one of those girls why do you think they should?

I have a hard hard time understanding... because to me what's important is that we get to know each other and spend a good time together... not the amount of money he's willing to pay on our date...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Generally, I don't like to make a first date expensive because it seems fake and forced or even desperate. I try to keep it midrange or below and focus on experiential type things. The more expensive stuff generally comes later I think at least for me.

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    • i agree... expensive stuff should be on a special date like I don't know when you're celebrating anniversaries.

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    • hahahahahaha true

    • This has always been my experience when dating, before it became a relationship.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree with you. Especially the first date because you don't know if things are going to go anywhere. And it's not fair to expect him to pay for a super expensive place, if he's going to have to then turn around and do that for another girl or several more girls until he finds one who wants to be with him.

    I think a cheap place is totally acceptable. The date can be a trip to McDonald's for all I care, and maybe a walk to some neat places, maybe get some ice cream somewhere. You know, just explore the city or do some fun activity. Doesn't have to cost a lot.

    I find the cheaper dates tend to allow me to get to know the guy better.

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What Guys Said 39

  • Many guys think spending a lot of money will impress the girl, and she'll have sex with him. However, that is far from the truth.

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    • i bet some girls do tho xD

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    • I bet it is the sure shot formula to get into pants after first date.
      I won't say it for whole population but at least 5 out of 10 will do. it.

    • it does impress them. the make up, hair dont nails done channel bag wearing ones.

      everyone loves luxury naturally. but to expect it and to attain it through other people is not respectable but a headache and deal breaker for most.

      also to some, it shows you can provide for them but obviously gold diggers use this to get free shit

  • Well I don't know about McDonald's... but I usually go low key on a first date, especially if it is someone I don't really know. I think spending all this money and having a fancy meal sets expectations too high for the evening and can stress people out! My favorite dates actually only include dinner if it is going well and we want to spend more time together, I always make it so if either of us wants, we could bail after an hour or something.

    I agree though, just a casual drink, or something light is the best way, then you can do more if you like each other- I find that form to be a way less formal date to be more natural and fun! None of this, pick her up, buy fancy dinner and movie BS lol

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  • My perception is that some girls think an expensive first date is a way of a guy showing that he is willing to treat her like she is special and that will set him apart from other guys.

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  • It's fine if you're looking for a really nice guy who works as a veterinary assistant for minimum wage. Expect to struggle in a marriage though. Expect that you may have to support him. Expect that he may be a wonderful guy - but sucks at picking his shit up and you have to do most of the house cleaning. And - expect that you'll have to do all that after you've done a hard days work because he doesn't make enough money to support you. Expect that, at some point you'll have to totally support him and put him through school so that he can gain the skills to become a competent provider so you can do things like have kids.

    Seen it a million times.

    Expensive dates signal to a woman that a man is good provider. All men come with baggage - the ability to be a strong provider mitigates a hell of a lot of baggage and just makes things easier for the both of you.

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    • huh the amount he spends on the first date doesn't mean anything lmao. it doesn't even show how much he earns...

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    • how can we be crazy about each other when its only the first date? lmao what did you smoke

    • Good dodge.

  • More than anything else, I think it boils down to what people value, and what people feel like they have to offer.

    A dude who sees his money as one of his greatest personal assets will likely try to buy a girl's affections.

    Similarly, a woman who values money will likely want to be bought.

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    • I should add, I don't really have anything against those kinds of people; it's just NOT me at all.

  • It is because the girls you speak of see men only as a walking wallet. They are sexist from the core.

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  • I think its funny, especially considering a lot of those girls who want to be wined and dined are the same ones who hop into bed on the first date with guys they get drunk with at clubs/parties.

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    • indeed xD.
      i guess its like one guy said in a take

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    • haha
      alright, thanks for answering my questions

  • 1. Because some of them confuse a guy who's paying a lot for a guy who cares a lot.
    2. Because some of them have old fashioned ideas that men are supposed to give them what they want in exchange for sex. And they want an expensive meal.

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  • They already spent their paycheque on shoes and handbags, and figure they is all that, and want to be 'kept in the style to which they are accustomed'.

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  • May be I'm just strange. I always let her pick the location for 1st date and I will agree to pay for it. You'll generally have an idea of the person depending on the food and place they pick.

    I'm not rich by any means but I do set a budget for having a fancy dinner once in a while.

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  • Going to a restaurant for a first date is an awful idea.

    How am I supposed to get to know them if they have their mouth full of food?

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    • you can spit food at each other. it would be a game to become close to your crush hahahahah

  • I never met a woman like that, but I'm sure they exist. I wouldn't feel comfortable taking a girl to a fancy restaurant on a first date unless it was a special occasion. The first date should be about valuing the first time the two of you spend together.

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  • Because those girls are gold diggers and want guys with deep pockets.

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  • Because those girls are under the delusion that they're worth such an expense.

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  • Personality and culturally based expectations.

    Personally, I believe that a date should be about the time spent together, and the effort to make each other happy.

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  • Its prostitution in a nutshell I agree its stupid

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  • because some girls think just cuz they have a vagina, tits and curves they use his madhood to lead to them on to get free stuff..

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  • Women like that are essentially whores. What they are doing is "trading on vagina." It's absolutely denigrating to men. It's an implicit statement that male sexuality is worthless.

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    • I'm actually a virgin and while I didn't expect that on a first date it was greatly appreciated and it would grant the guy brownie points in my book. I make quite a bit of money and my family makes money too so I'm used to things the average person isn't used to lol My guy now and the guys before him had similar lifestyles as mine. Also my general area is quite traditional and I'm a traditionalist as well. I'm not trading my vagina as you put it or anything else before someone assumes otherwise. I haven't engaged in any sexual activities and I've only kissed two guys one being the one I'm with now lol. I also don't think men's sexuality is worthless at all I value my man above all others :)

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    • I realize it sounds bad I really do but I just haven't met anyone that hasn't had money if that makes sense. I wouldn't discriminate if he made less but he's have to be very secure my aunt said that dating a man that makes less is harder because a man is used to being a provider by evolution standards and it could possibly make him feel inferior compared to me which I wouldn't want. I also know that making less money doesn't mean he would be more insecure but from the marriages I've seen when the woman has more power or makes more money the man tends to feel useless or unneeded which leads to cheating :/ Also that lady was definitely insane lol Dating isn't only about the woman's time the guy is taking time out of his day as well. I don't think you should be trading your vagina for dates anyways you could just be a prostitute I think you'd make more money that way too. Then with that money you can pay for your own expensive restaurant lol :) I don't think money is everything by the way

    • Although it comes off that way to some. I'm actually very independent but I'm also very submissive and attending to my man's needs lol it's in my nature which is why I'm so happy he's a traditionalist too because he doesn't see me as some money grubbing whore if you know what I mean. I feel like before I was in a relationship guys would turn me down for being more traditional in my way of thinking. My new guy understands though and I'm more than happy to attend to his every need as long as it isn't sexual but he knows that and is willing to wait until marriage if that's what I want :) I couldn't' be happier! It's pretty rare to find someone around my age ready to commit you know.

  • Dates are like interviews and a woman's time is valuable. Unfortunately, some grossly inflate their self worth. What you're suggesting, is not common.

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    • wow... a woman's time is valuable? thats sad if those women think like that... they're basically saying guys = shit lol

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    • @blondfrog i'm not talking about frequency. i'm talking about the manner they'd go about it. nothing to do w/ social media. everything to do w/ 'texting'. the fact people assume others are accessible 24/7 is what's caused the most change. before, you were limited by having to call on the phone, hoping they were home. less opportunity to speak to one another, or communicate in general, much less ask someone out on a date.

    • lmao dim lighting and formal questions 😂😂😂

  • I just usually be like... hey im hungry, we should go to this place__________, (a place not too cheap and not too expensive either.

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  • Because they are full of crap with a strong feeling of entitlement.

    Thumbs up for you.

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  • I think you are right jessicorn, it doesn't matter how much money is going to pay but to enjoy the time together. It can be a good evening watching a movie at home or going for a walk together.

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  • I don't know, they want to be treated like a Queen. ... Like all the time. .-.

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  • The more money you have, the better partner you are

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  • To each her own I guess. I tend to spend a lot on people, it's actually becoming a problem...

    What can I say, I like giving!

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  • Some girls have their priorities mixed up

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  • @idkwtftoputhere is a cheapazz shiz

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  • Sometimes guys like to show off how much money they have. Or they just like showing that they can take someone out somewhere nice. It's not that Mcdonalds won't suffice, I would just be worried that the person I'm taking out might think I'm cheap or that I don't care about my date.

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  • I think it's perfect to go to McDonald's in first date😂😂not for the money thing but it's more comfortable and the date is to know each other not for spending much money.
    you're the one that any guy dreams to date btw😂😂😂 others are just impressed with money

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  • F this girl I knew told me she wanted olive garden like wtf.. I took her,, but like wth don't b so stuck up about it

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What Girls Said 44

  • It's because you're genuine :-)

    Two people are interested, they go out because they want to enjoy spending time together.

    To me dating is that simple. I don't know why so many people insist on making it complicated. If I'm out with a guy it's because I want to get to know him, not let him spend money on me. It's why I always isnist on paying my way. 1) One it's an unfair double standard, I believe in equality. 2) It's him I'm interested in, not his money. 3) i don't want to create an expectation that I owe him anything.

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  • I think a lot of older girls expect the guy to pay on a first date. I don't know anyone my age who expects the guy to pay, or who doesn't regularly pay for their boyfriend and themselves.
    And if they do they're cheap and greedy and live in a fantasy world.

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  • Issues with self entitlement. Plain and simple.

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  • If a girl demands to go to a expensive restaurant for a first date, then they are the type of girls men should stay away from.. unless you're Angelina Jolie or something. Then again I'm a nerd and would love to spend my date in a comic book store so what do I know :P

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    • A woman's looks shouldn't dictate how much a man should spend on her. A pretty woman with nothing else does not deserve to be wine and dine in a 5 star restaurant.

    • Men don't necessarily have to stay away from anybody though. If he wants to wine and dine her then hell let him I'm sure she'd be happy to know that she's worth it :)

  • I don't know about you but I would hope for the absolute opposite of an expensive date. I would feel obliged to go on a following date because he spent so much and I wouldn't want to just be like "lol thanks for splashing cash but no".
    I would much rather something low key where it's about getting to know each other. Also it means I don't have to spend 2 hours getting ready and changing my outfit 6 times because I look fat etc etc.

    We can do fancy dates on anniversaries. When it's worth it.

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  • I never been on a date. I don't want expensive just a fun date!

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  • When am dating a guy I tend to not expect much because after all he isn't mine yet.. However when we have established a more concrete relationship.. I would expect more but am usually considerate. Some women tend to ask for unrealistic gifts and I think that you need to be considerate , taking into account the guys needs, the salary is working for among other things

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  • what you said about the getting to know the person is more important than how much he spends on you is true. but I think for a first date a nicer restraunt would be a good idea because it shows how much you care and it's a good first impression that you are going to treat your girl right. but I wouldn't expect you nor would I want to go to a fancy dinner every date just for special occasions like and anniversary, or a first date, or when you have important news to announce like a promotion. and sometimes just because

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  • Because they're entitled little shits who don't understand the true value of getting to know a person without spending a single penny.

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  • Because it's called good manners. If a person is making a first impression, he/she should have the good sense to do it RIGHT, not on the cheap.

    Here's a little warning story... my niece's parents through her this costly birthday party at a catering hall only to have it crashed by her boyfriend's parents trying to call it 'an engagement party.' They were the laughing stock and looked so cheap and petty, well your mother was right, men who do such things to you and don't care to do right about you NEVER change. This guy and his family have treated her like s**t since Day One.

    No manners, no class, no respect, no happy relationship.

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  • I have no idea because they are materialistic and think their love should be bought. I'm cool with a coupon date honestly. The cheaper the better as long as the food is still good.

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  • I don't now what you're talking about. Most of the dates I have been on have been very inexpensive, only getting more expensive once it became a relationship. Was I doing something wrong? LOL...

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  • Why do some girls expect an expensive first date?
    Likely for the same reason guys seem to expect sex/sexual activity before entering a relationship. That reason being some associate worth to the act.

    For some gals how much a guy is willing to spend on her correlates to his interest and investment of her. No different than for some guys how sexual a gal is willing to be correlates to her interest of him.

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  • I don't expect expensive first dates.. I just want to have fun and want it to be memorable.. :)

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  • I'd love the walking talking macdonalds idea :D, first date with my now boyfriend was actually after my training, on the track, talking, then in his car drinking coffee and eating cookies, it was perfect for me and we had so much fun. When two people like each other they dont need fancy stuff to enjoy each others company

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  • Way to make a completely wrong generalization. Are you trying to build yourself up or something. You have that mentality that i see with a lot of girls on here who post stuff like this just to get praises from the men commenting get a life and stop making assumptions! For the record before someone comes with some B. S I don't expect expensive first dates but I'm not eating McDonald either that's mostly do to the fact that I'm vegan though :)

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  • Oh god I would HATE to go on an expensive first day. That would be so fucken awkward and even worse if it goes really bad. I would just reject them and say,"I'm sorry but I can't afford that so I can't go on a date with you."

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  • I like a romantic date, doesn't have to be expensive but passionate and feeling great. Which I'm not getting, so I give up.

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  • I've never expected a guy to take me to a fancy place on a first date. Actually, all the first dates I had took place in coffee shops, bookstores, the movies, inexpensive restaurants (not fast food chains though).

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  • I'm not sure what women you've been hanging around with, but... I've always believed that if you really like a guy, just being with him was the best part of a date.

    Though, that's just my opinion. You can take it however you would like to...

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  • if a girl wants an expensive FIRST date, (in my opinion) it seems like she might only be in it for your money.. i just feel like if you're sincerely into someone, it shouldn't matter what kinda date ya go on, as long as y'all are having fun & are just connecting on an emotional level. I understand more expensive dates when you've been dating for awhile and you just want a special evening, but I just don't get it for a first date. whoops.

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    • Considering the fact that I make quite a bit of money I expect my man too as well which he does lol We come from the same background so he knew that while I wasn't exactly expecting an expensive first date it would be something that was greatly appreciated. :)

  • I'd rather have a cheap date.. Because there's less pressure to act all classy... preferably somewhere like the public pools or bowling

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  • It is important to get to know each other but personally, I prefer an expensive restaurant because almost everyone expects to be on their best in the start of the relationship.. XD. I am fine with both but I like if the guy is trying to impress me and has put some thought into our date.
    Eating at McDonalds is the worst thing for me, I would eat my lipstick and don't get me started about my eating habits...
    About paying, essentially the one who takes the other one out should pay, and I prefer one person to pay since my maths is just about terrible. If I am taking him out, I am paying and he is, then he is paying or we will somehow split it. Also, an exception hee is if one person is poor and other is rich or theydon't have the same financial background.
    Bottom line, for me, plan an expensive date if you really like your date, not some casual chap.

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  • I don't care, I'm good with anything as long as I'm with the person. I wouldn't care if we just stayed home, cuddle, eat pizza, and watch Netflix.

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  • Lol in the UK we expect men to take us to the local Nandos. 😂

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    • Have I seen so many guys do that! XD Just take their girl to Nandos.

  • expensive? I think you mean extra effort to make it special. no? don't date at all

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    • nope as in expensive

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    • You can make a date special without spending any money. If you think money = making something special, then you've got your priorities all fucked up.

    • @lumos you said it better than i do.

  • My mom always told me to make a man work so..
    I just feel like whatever you allow in the beginning, will continue and he would feel like it doesn't take much to love me (if we proceeded to an actual relationship). You don't have to take me out to Red Lobster, that's absurd (only if he wanted to though). I wouldn't mind going to a coffee shop just to talk or somewhere like Chilli's or a movie.

    On a side note:
    Men nowadays like to play victim on how we girls/women "treat" them. They're just upset because they've finally realized that spending a lot of money still won't get them "laid". See how every time a girl is the topic regarding treatment here on GaG, it's gonna be that ONE guy that claims we're too spoiled? Bunch of cry babies. Menimists are nothing but crying man children who can hardly get a woman, so they turn around and blame us for all their failures and then proceed to call us slutty (because it helps them sleep alone at night), ALL BECAUSE we would refuse to do anything "slutty" with them. To the guys that complain left and right on here, just try dating guys and shut up.

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  • honestly I'm more into the cliche type of dates. like walking on the beach with an icecream cone or going to the movies.

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  • An expensive first date is a waste of money and time, you would wanna spend time getting to know each other, not being fascinated by the $800 napkins

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  • Because they want a fairy-tale and a first impression is the biggest.

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