Why do some girls expect an expensive first date?

Question

I don't know if i'm cheap or something... but I wouldn't mind at all having a first date just walking outside, talking and then eating at McDonald's xD.

But i've seen that most girls seem to think a guy should take them out at an expensive restaurant...
If you're one of those girls why do you think they should?

I have a hard hard time understanding... because to me what's important is that we get to know each other and spend a good time together... not the amount of money he's willing to pay on our date...

EgyptianNergerts · Accepted Answer

My mom always told me to make a man work so..
I just feel like whatever you allow in the beginning, will continue and he would feel like it doesn't take much to love me (if we proceeded to an actual relationship). You don't have to take me out to Red Lobster, that's absurd (only if he wanted to though). I wouldn't mind going to a coffee shop just to talk or somewhere like Chilli's or a movie.

On a side note:
Men nowadays like to play victim on how we girls/women "treat" them. They're just upset because they've finally realized that spending a lot of money still won't get them "laid". See how every time a girl is the topic regarding treatment here on GaG, it's gonna be that ONE guy that claims we're too spoiled? Bunch of cry babies. Menimists are nothing but crying man children who can hardly get a woman, so they turn around and blame us for all their failures and then proceed to call us slutty (because it helps them sleep alone at night), ALL BECAUSE we would refuse to do anything "slutty" with them. To the guys that complain left and right on here, just try dating guys and shut up.

Elena_the_Star · Accepted Answer

It is important to get to know each other but personally, I prefer an expensive restaurant because almost everyone expects to be on their best in the start of the relationship.. XD. I am fine with both but I like if the guy is trying to impress me and has put some thought into our date.
Eating at McDonalds is the worst thing for me, I would eat my lipstick and don't get me started about my eating habits...
About paying, essentially the one who takes the other one out should pay, and I prefer one person to pay since my maths is just about terrible. If I am taking him out, I am paying and he is, then he is paying or we will somehow split it. Also, an exception hee is if one person is poor and other is rich or theydon't have the same financial background.
Bottom line, for me, plan an expensive date if you really like your date, not some casual chap.

Darkfairie17 · Accepted Answer

I agree with you. Especially the first date because you don't know if things are going to go anywhere. And it's not fair to expect him to pay for a super expensive place, if he's going to have to then turn around and do that for another girl or several more girls until he finds one who wants to be with him.

I think a cheap place is totally acceptable. The date can be a trip to McDonald's for all I care, and maybe a walk to some neat places, maybe get some ice cream somewhere. You know, just explore the city or do some fun activity. Doesn't have to cost a lot.

I find the cheaper dates tend to allow me to get to know the guy better.

Lucylou1990 · Accepted Answer

It's because you're genuine :-)

Two people are interested, they go out because they want to enjoy spending time together.

To me dating is that simple. I don't know why so many people insist on making it complicated. If I'm out with a guy it's because I want to get to know him, not let him spend money on me. It's why I always isnist on paying my way. 1) One it's an unfair double standard, I believe in equality. 2) It's him I'm interested in, not his money. 3) i don't want to create an expectation that I owe him anything.

ccp16 · Accepted Answer

Well I don't know about McDonald's... but I usually go low key on a first date, especially if it is someone I don't really know. I think spending all this money and having a fancy meal sets expectations too high for the evening and can stress people out! My favorite dates actually only include dinner if it is going well and we want to spend more time together, I always make it so if either of us wants, we could bail after an hour or something.

I agree though, just a casual drink, or something light is the best way, then you can do more if you like each other- I find that form to be a way less formal date to be more natural and fun! None of this, pick her up, buy fancy dinner and movie BS lol

longjohndan · Accepted Answer

Generally, I don't like to make a first date expensive because it seems fake and forced or even desperate. I try to keep it midrange or below and focus on experiential type things. The more expensive stuff generally comes later I think at least for me.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

My perception is that some girls think an expensive first date is a way of a guy showing that he is willing to treat her like she is special and that will set him apart from other guys.

RJGraveyTrain · Answer

Issues with self entitlement. Plain and simple.

itsagirlthing900 · Answer

what you said about the getting to know the person is more important than how much he spends on you is true. but I think for a first date a nicer restraunt would be a good idea because it shows how much you care and it's a good first impression that you are going to treat your girl right. but I wouldn't expect you nor would I want to go to a fancy dinner every date just for special occasions like and anniversary, or a first date, or when you have important news to announce like a promotion. and sometimes just because

NerdInDenial · Answer

Many guys think spending a lot of money will impress the girl, and she'll have sex with him. However, that is far from the truth.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm the same way you are. When my boyfriend and I first hung out, all we did was walk around and then sit in his mothers van getting to know each other. Granted, we were both 16 years old at the time. However, just that alone was enough for him to win me over. I've never been big on expensive things, honestly. I would much rather him save his money for something he needs. I just don't understand the whole "spend lots of money on our first date" shit. Like, why? So you can make sure he financially will support you later on? To me that is just greedy and self centered.

TamaEggNogg · Answer

If a girl demands to go to a expensive restaurant for a first date, then they are the type of girls men should stay away from.. unless you're Angelina Jolie or something. Then again I'm a nerd and would love to spend my date in a comic book store so what do I know :P

DodgersGM · Answer

More than anything else, I think it boils down to what people value, and what people feel like they have to offer.

A dude who sees his money as one of his greatest personal assets will likely try to buy a girl's affections.

Similarly, a woman who values money will likely want to be bought.

Anonymous · Answer

Dropping money in a way that suggests it's no big deal makes you seem powerful and increases attraction.

Spending a lot in a way that suggests you're trying hard makes you look either desperate, or like you view her as a hooker you pay to get something from.

Safer bet is to take her for drinks or coffee on a first date anyway.

BrunetteNYC · Answer

Because it's called good manners. If a person is making a first impression, he/she should have the good sense to do it RIGHT, not on the cheap.

Here's a little warning story... my niece's parents through her this costly birthday party at a catering hall only to have it crashed by her boyfriend's parents trying to call it 'an engagement party.' They were the laughing stock and looked so cheap and petty, well your mother was right, men who do such things to you and don't care to do right about you NEVER change. This guy and his family have treated her like s**t since Day One.

No manners, no class, no respect, no happy relationship.

Hidden_P · Answer

I don't know about you but I would hope for the absolute opposite of an expensive date. I would feel obliged to go on a following date because he spent so much and I wouldn't want to just be like "lol thanks for splashing cash but no".
I would much rather something low key where it's about getting to know each other. Also it means I don't have to spend 2 hours getting ready and changing my outfit 6 times because I look fat etc etc.

We can do fancy dates on anniversaries. When it's worth it.

throwit · Answer

I think a lot of older girls expect the guy to pay on a first date. I don't know anyone my age who expects the guy to pay, or who doesn't regularly pay for their boyfriend and themselves.
And if they do they're cheap and greedy and live in a fantasy world.

luvstoned4him · Answer

When am dating a guy I tend to not expect much because after all he isn't mine yet.. However when we have established a more concrete relationship.. I would expect more but am usually considerate. Some women tend to ask for unrealistic gifts and I think that you need to be considerate , taking into account the guys needs, the salary is working for among other things

shikyoon · Answer

I'd love the walking talking macdonalds idea :D, first date with my now boyfriend was actually after my training, on the track, talking, then in his car drinking coffee and eating cookies, it was perfect for me and we had so much fun. When two people like each other they dont need fancy stuff to enjoy each others company

Accipiter · Answer

I never met a woman like that, but I'm sure they exist. I wouldn't feel comfortable taking a girl to a fancy restaurant on a first date unless it was a special occasion. The first date should be about valuing the first time the two of you spend together.

oddwaffle · Answer

May be I'm just strange. I always let her pick the location for 1st date and I will agree to pay for it. You'll generally have an idea of the person depending on the food and place they pick.

I'm not rich by any means but I do set a budget for having a fancy dinner once in a while.

Bandit74 · Answer

I think its funny, especially considering a lot of those girls who want to be wined and dined are the same ones who hop into bed on the first date with guys they get drunk with at clubs/parties.

meatballs21 · Answer

They already spent their paycheque on shoes and handbags, and figure they is all that, and want to be 'kept in the style to which they are accustomed'.

Thor696 · Answer

It's fine if you're looking for a really nice guy who works as a veterinary assistant for minimum wage. Expect to struggle in a marriage though. Expect that you may have to support him. Expect that he may be a wonderful guy - but sucks at picking his shit up and you have to do most of the house cleaning. And - expect that you'll have to do all that after you've done a hard days work because he doesn't make enough money to support you. Expect that, at some point you'll have to totally support him and put him through school so that he can gain the skills to become a competent provider so you can do things like have kids.

Seen it a million times.

Expensive dates signal to a woman that a man is good provider. All men come with baggage - the ability to be a strong provider mitigates a hell of a lot of baggage and just makes things easier for the both of you.

Anonymous · Answer

That's a good question, because I sure don't. I just want to have fun and get to know the guy, I don't need to spend money or a lot of money for that. I do not understand why some people expect certain things. I also go Dutch, so I pay for myself and he can pay for himself. If we get together exclusively and decide we want to spend a lot of money on a trip, I'll still pay my share.

Anonymous · Answer

I love women like you, beautiful on the outside and even more beautiful on the inside. You don't have to spend a single cent to have a great date, that is something I need to remember the next time I use my credit card.

Why do some girls expect an expensive first date?

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