Does my mom not want me to be happy?

Im seeing this guy, who i really like for a week now. We basically see each other every single day.

So my mom asked me a question about him several days ago, about what he does etc.

today she told me she doesn't really like me seeing him too often cause he's not a muslim (my parents are muslims but i myself do not believe in religions). I told her that we've only known each other for a week now its not like we're getting married tomorrow. She has told me this twice already.

its been a very long time since i feel this happy and i just want to enjoy the moment, if its meant to be it will be. If its not then we will go out separate ways. End of story.

She also told me i need to start thinking about what if i want to marry this guy cause he's obviously not young anymore and she also said i need to start thinking about my future including marriage.

I dont get why she's like this? She puts me under this kind of pressure for what? She knows exactly how i am under pressure, why is she making me feel like this? Can she just not chill and see where things are going?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • She doesn't want to see you heart broken.

    Spending successive days with someone off the bat has harsh consequences when you two hit a bump in the road. Managing your time together early on, is in some way a shock absorber...

    Say tomorrow you don't hear from him... at all. Nor do you hear from him the following day. You will be like: WHAT THE FUCK?

    Just be cautious.

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    • He lives 3 doors down from me.

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    • I dunno about a dozen lol, but you got a point. Although, it's like saying, how do you know you'll break your legs if you don't jump from a 2 story building? Either is possible, but what's more likely? Using logic to make decisions for love never seems to fly, because love is at stake.

      it's simple risk vs consequence, or in your eyes, part of growing up.

      Have fun and go for it. Just bring your helmet. -=]

    • That's religion for you. No thinking involved.

Most Helpful Girl

  • So just HOW OLD is this guy?

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    • 9 years older than i am. 29

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    • I tried that in the past and it never works. I have no idea why but she just never listens. My brother and sister says the same thing too. My mon has this small little world in her mind and she hates it when someone who she can "control" ruins it for her. But then when she listens to a professional she would listen and changes her behavior. Its weird i know, but she's my mom.

    • Thank you very much indeed for the MHG.

What Guys Said 2

  • Unfortunately, the answer to your question is YES. Your parents' religion is more important to them than your happiness.

    I suppose your best option is to keep your relationship clandestine, until you can break away for good. Your boyfriend will have to understand this of course.

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    • He's not even my boyfriend. Thats the problem. We just started seeing each other.

      Im going to make an appointment with my therapist about this for next week. Cause apparently my mom always listens to her but not to me

  • @elissdido how can these hungry wolves be pullin' dem Muslim babez from left and right and i can't even pull none :/
    How can i make u mine ma Muslim babez 😩😩😩

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What Girls Said 1

  • all mothers do this on some level. they give birth to you and they think that this gives them the right to provide unsolicited advice for the rest of your life.

    i think in this case, because there are cultural differences between you that she may also worry that you will lose track of the values that she raised you with, and that are obviously so important to her. that being said, maybe you should try to limit the amount of information you give her about your new friend until the two of you know what you're doing. this isn't an act of cruelty to your mother; it's just you putting up some healthy boundaries. one thing you need to keep in mind is that you don't want the only thing keeping you together to be your overwhelming need to prove her wrong. you can't make her the enemy, or it may blind you to some real incompatibilities between you and your boyfriend.

    http://cleverlemon.me/

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    • she's not my biological mother. Im adopted.

      I can understand what you're saying. You see i was molested by her first child since i was 5 years old. She cares but never really shows that she does through her acts. So i was a very unhappy child. Im finally after a quite long time feel happy again and she doesn't even seem to be even just a little bit happy for me. And about that religion thing, i never talked with her about marriage. Im not planning on getting married. Not in anytime soon. I just want to get to know this guy, and I really enjoy seeing him. We only live 1 minute away from each other so that's obviously the reason why we see each other everyday. I just dk why she's not happy about me being happy.

      Im planning on talking about this with my therapist next week to see if she can help me with this.

    • sometimes a mother has trouble viewing herself as a separate person as her children, which makes it difficult for her to let go and trust them to take care of themselves. what you need to do is concentrate on making the best choices for you. hopefully she can respect that she helped raise such an independant minded person.

      i genuinely wish you luck. this can be one of thre toughest things in the world.

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