Mind you, I'm NOT at all saying this about younger guys, college kids have financial restraints that we all understand and in those cases, these comments are to be overlooked. That said, when a man in his late 40's who talks BIG and works on Wall Street and talks to you off and on for hours and says 'we should meet up for coffee,' not to sound rude, but I'm sorry, I'm not interested.
To me, a man at this age should have enough respect to realize even 'coffee' dates cost a woman far more than that lousy cup of coffee that I could get on my own. A woman generally has to do her hair, nails, toes and put together a nice outfit for ANY kind of date - is it worth going through all of that for what? A man who's already demonstrated that he's really not all that interested?
And guys here, be gentle, lol, but correct me if I'm wrong. If a guy isn't willing to take you to a movie, or dinner, on a first date, doesn't it generally indicate he doesn't like you enough to do better?
I don't mean to be cynical, but if a guy brags a lot about having money, but the immediately proceeds to act as if he can't afford a decent date at 46 years-old, oh well, make what you will of it.
Again, none of this applies to younger men who are not established.
Most Helpful Guy
I think that you don't seem to understand that a "coffee date" is meant to be a casual, "low-expectation" date so that the girl doesn't feel pressured to spend a long time with him or to be sexual with him (if she isn't attracted, or just not ready). It's not the guy trying to be cheap, but rather, to make the woman feel more at ease.
Also, I feel like you are putting a lot of ridiculous "Sex And The City" urbanite pressure on yourself for a coffee date. No, all of that crap is NOT necessary, at least not for those not on a TV show.5
Most Helpful Girl
All these guys are not getting your point. It's not about amount money spent, it's about amount of effort they make. And TRADITIONALLY its through wining and dining. And you're right, there is no excuse for a man not to make a full effort IF he claims to be interested in you. Otherwise, don't waste the time in the first place. Women, by nature need to be pursued. No way a coffee date will demonstrate that.4
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