What can I do if my boyfriend has depression?

My boyfriend is depressed and sick all the time. I'm always there to comfort him. There will be days where he is fine and the next day he won't be. He always used to give me attention and affection, no matter how he felt, but now I rarely get anything from him now. I think it might be the new medication that he is taking. He was still giving me a lot of attention until a week ago after our fight, but now I think he hates me and doesn't know that he does. But even so I'm always there to help him with his pain. I know that it's mostly the depression but I can't help but think that he doesn't love me anymore and I think it's taking a toll on me.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You need to start thinking of yourself. Whatever his degree of depression is, he has to ultimately help himself. He needs to snap out of it, a hundred years ago people either did that or they didn't survive. Quite the incentive. You babying him won't help either him, or yourself. I know I seem insensitive, your 26 years old, do you want to be 36 and realize you spent ten years of your life without realizing it. It goes faster than you think. Put yourself first, no one else will!

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    • What should I do? should I just ignore him and do my own thing for awhile? I don't want him to think that I don't love him anymore...

    • Sorry I was out of here for a while. No I didn't say that , I mean you have to let him know how much his depression is affecting you. Your boyfriend has to realize this, it's not just about him. Just remember you can support a person but you can't hold them up. Only you know your situation, and what you're doing. You wouldn't have asked this if you weren't thinking something like this.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's his depression.

    He needs to see a therapist.

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    • He's seeing a psychiatrist? Would seeing a therapist be better?

    • I think yes since therapist focuses on talking rather than medications.

    • I'll have to figure out a way to talk him into it then... I don't think he believes that talking to someone about his problems will help though...

What Guys Said 2

  • i am like this myself , I am suffering with high anxiety , stress and depression presently due to a lot thats happened to me , i am OK one mintute and then i am not , I know its hard on my own girlfriend Hannah because there are times where i just snap at her and fight with her which I think makes her feel I dont love her anymore.

    when we are like it our emotions go to pieces we cannot control the results its like a nuclear reactor if it gets too overloaded it explodes , he does not hate you he's processing a lot of information and there are times he will snap and it could be aimed unintentionally in your direction , everything sounds like he loves you a lot.

    Just be with him and remember if he fights with you try not to take it personally from what you say I really dont think he wants to fight with you , one thing you have a bunch of is the internet and self help its fantastic and to be honest there maybe something on there you want to try aswell.

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    • I was the one who had started the fight because he was doing things with his other friends without me. And one of those friends is his ex, whom I like and I don't mind him hanging out with, but it seemed like he was more excited to see her, and do more things with his other friends and I was feeling neglected. So I confronted him about it and he felt very badly about it and was angry at himself for a while. He asked me for another chance and I gave it to him, and now he's like this... on and off and not giving me any affection...

  • wow you sound like a good girlfriend. i hate hearing stories like that cause they debunk my convenient self-deceiving bs about all women being bad.

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    • um... thank you? lol

    • try everything. therapy. music, relaxation, contemplative prayer, diet, less exposure to stress, depression is a serious thing. also research new medical treatments. things have advancedd pretty much lately.

    • He says he's tried everything... but in the middle of enjoying it he'll slip back into depression. His new medication is changing him into a different person. I'm afraid that he won't agree with anything I tell him he should do... I don't want to be that controlling girlfriend that nags a lot...

What Girls Said 3

  • I guess the best you can do is be his friend... just make sure to make him laugh and treat him with kindness... That all we depress people need so friend to lean on and make us feel better.

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  • There's not a whole lot you can do, but take him o a psychiatrist. Just be around him a lot, ik you're not his mom and don't plan to act all mothering but you should limit his time on electronics because those can easily add to depression.

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    • He's seeing a psychiatrist right now. I think the medication that they keep giving him is messing with him...

    • Ugh depression medication is bs. They're supposed to make you more depressed anyways. Depression is risky and sometimes the only way a person can handle it is by dealing it themselves and coming to terms with it. It takes time. Honestly, just time with the ones you love is a great cure to it. Take a vacation, from work and the stress and just everything bc stress is a huge supporter of depression. by the way its been proved in studies that getting fresh air every morning helps, exercising also helps bc endorphins and everything, some exercise that can help is:
      Biking
      Dancing
      Gardening
      Golf
      Housework
      Jogging at a moderate pace
      Low-impact aerobics
      Playing tennis
      Swimming
      Walking
      Yard work
      Yoga
      I honestly don't even know.

    • I told him all that and... he tried it for a while... I think it was working but... I dunno how to tell him, he doesn't believe me.

  • You must love him if your always there for him but a relationship won't work always if their only one person doing to effort. Everybody need comfort. And he can't expecte you to do everythig.

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    • He's trying really hard to get through his depression, he'll try to do things, and apologize all the time that he's always sick and depressed, but it really is starting to take a mental toll on me

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    • I have felt like giving up a few times... I have also tried breaking up with him at one point... but he said that he needed me, so I stayed, its been getting a little better, but its still not like it was, and I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt because of the medication. But I really hope this doesn't last very long, because I don't know how much more I can take...

    • Well I hope things get better because its not easy for you.

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