The title of this question is.. self explanatory. Would you date someone who has a child?
A friend of mine, who is the age of eighteen, just got himself a new girlfriend. Of course, she has a child. Anyway, this situation has gotten me thinking; Who else would do this? Not only that, but do you think he (my friend) is too young to take on the responsibilities of a child?
When I remarried, I had custody of my then 5 year old son. My new wife had custody of two daughters from a previous marriage. We met via eHarmony. One of the elements of the guided communication that takes place between eHarmony matches is the exchange of "must haves" and "can't stands". Basically, these are lists of 10 requirements and 10 deal breakers (each selected from eHarmony provided lists of choices).
We both had this requirement in our "must haves":
"My match must be willing to accept my child as their own."
That's a pretty heavy requirement to place on someone. It's not surprising that we would both have children. However, most of my eHarmony matches did not have children already. But, each one of those 120+ matches agreed, in principle, to accept my child as their own. I was not even introduced to any woman who would reject this responsibility. That's the way eHarmony works.
I am looking for a spouse. I am saving myself for my spouse. In order to qualify as a potential spouse, he must also be saving himself. If he's toting along a kid then OBVIOUSLY he did not save himself and therefore is NOT what I'm looking for at all.
I have when I was 22 it was super fun when it was fun but also super shitty when it was shitty! I did learn a lot from it and don't think bad of the girl at all. Would I do it again, not too entirely sure, but it would be more on the chemistry I have with the girl to make a clear decision.
I'd date someone with a child, who I consider to be a good parent, and has raised their child through my ideological beliefs, or if she share's my ideological beliefs.
Primarily though, and honestly speaking, I'd prefer to date someone who does not have a child, and have children with her myself, so I can have a first hand approach to raising the child to my standards.
No offense but no. It takes enough to be in a relationship and I wouldn't go the extra mile for a kid that is not mine. I respect the circumstances, we all make mistakes but it isn't a responsibility I'd take just to be able to be with someone. I've seen this first hand with friends of mine... Definitely not recommended.
I voted no, but it's only because I haven't been in a relationship yet. Had I ever been in one, this wouldn't be a big deal. It's just that for at least one period in my life I'd like it to be just me and her.
At that age, no. That is too young. But by the mid twenties, the game has changed. Yes, I would.
I would never do that unless I also had a kid.
Probably not at my age. I'd like to have my own children, and if I'm with a woman who already has one that's one less child I can father. I guess a daughter would feel slightly less like a cuckoo in the nest, but still it's not something I'm too keen on.
I am in no position to be a step parent by any means, so to date someone with a child with no plans for the future is pointless. Then again I am 21 now, whose to say I won't change my mind in a couple years. I had a friends with benefits who actually had 2 small children, I was okay with this because this was a factor why we would never be more than friends with benefits and it never went that way either.