Why don't guys want to date me? they only want sex?

I'm really confused and hurt by a few guys I've met and have been crushing on lately. These guys admit to having a crush on me and finding me pretty and they want sex but don't want to be in a relationship. I am looking for something serious not hookups and it seems like most guys only want hookups.. I'm starting to think there is something wrong with me that guys don't want to date me. I'm not dramatic, I work and go to school, I'm kind and go out of my way for people. Is it me? or is it them?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • HeyWhisper, don't worry its not you! Its the guys.
    Many guys around our age are just not willing to settle for relationships yet. They are very focussed on dating around and getting laid.

    When you get older more and more guys mature and the chances of coming across a guy willing to commit increases (I still think the girls are 3 years older mentally could apply here :P).

    But one big tip i can give you just in case your making this mistake : Stop waiting for those attractive guys to approach you at the bar. The guys who practised there game so much they have no trouble convincing you they are great or smooth talking you into bed. Go for the cute guy in the corner minding his own business and don't be affraid to approach first.

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    • Sadly these days the word date has lost its meaning and means someone they had sex with

Most Helpful Girl

  • There's absolutely nothing wrong with you, you just have to find the "right guy" & I promise you they are out there, you just have to wait for them to come around. I thought the same way you did before I met my boyfriend, and he never rushed into anything or pressured me into doing something I didn't want too. We waited about 3 months before we did anything, just because I wanted to be sure (bc I was a virgin) don't feel pressured into having sex with some boys that probably don't deserve ya anyway, sweetheart. just wait for the perfect guy, he'll come around. 😘

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What Guys Said 19

  • Your relationship material, these guys are obviously not boyfriend material and they know it, so they try and make themselves look more macho than they fel by insisting on sex only relationships not realising that all this does is make them look very small in shallow water, so no its not you. and guys will want to date you, you just got to be patient for the guys worthy of you and not guys who think your worthy of them, x

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  • The way I see it you may crushing on the wrong 'kind' of guys. The instant you hear them say "I'm not interested in a relationship" get the fk outta there and head for the hills. There are men and then there are assholes... choose wisely.

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  • I don't think it's you. You just meet the wrong guys

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  • They watch too much porn. Decent guys are there around you.

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  • The flip side is, a lot of guys find that when they try to get a girlfriend instead of try to just bang the girl, they have zero success.

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  • lots of guys are finding modern women to be worth the effort.

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  • i am sorry your experience is like this
    but i think i can be arrogant enough to say that not all guys are like that which is close to no help at all! :)

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    • Would be nice to find guys who want a relationship

    • i wish i could find a girl looking for relationships :S
      but here people are incredibly feministic and thus they are forced by other women to go for hookups instead of relationships even if they want to...

  • You should ask the women in your family what courtship is. Used to be a big deal years ago when people were behaving like civilised human beings with standards.

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  • There is nothing wrong about you, it is that many guys do like this, you just need to be patient to find a serious boy.

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  • Why doesn't a single soul want to date me or have sex with me? Nice humble brag, you're the fortunate one, don't ever forget that

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    • you're 17 though. I've found with age comes more attention, seriously

  • If that helps you I would date you and I am monogamic. the real question is are you picking the wrong guys or are the wrong guys picking you.

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  • I'm in the same situation as you. Girls only want sex.

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  • Maybe it have nothing 2 do with the guys but has everything 2 do with your personality
    i Know only way i will settle is with a mazing girl and 95 %of all girls arnt amazing sooo ya

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  • Its not you.

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  • They are blind , U are fascinating <3

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  • well what type of guy do you usually go for?

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  • Most guys (especially young ones) are not wanting to get into relationships, they are usually controlling, demeaning, and not fun for the males. Women want to enforce their ideas into us and control everything we do, say, and think. SO when we can help it, we often opt out of the relationship crap.

    We sometimes get caught in one because the female will make us play her game in order to get sex, and when we are forced to wait, or have to jump through the stupid hoops and shit tests, we get roped in.

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  • It's not that you are flawed but they see you as an appealing sexual option but don't see you as an appealing romantic option. It's no different than how women see me as date-able but not sexually appealing enough to have a casual hookup with. It is what it is. Find someone who sees you differently.

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  • For a lot of guys a relationship has more drawbacks than advantages. Many guys are pretty emotionally self-sufficient. It might look to you like you have a lot to offer but what you are offering is not something they want much and the time and constraints are too high a price.

    The sad thing is a lot of times these guys who are more emotionally self-sufficient are more attractive to women. Guys who want a relationship seem weak and needy.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I want to know the same thing. I never dated in college because the men Just wanted sex and some of them had girlfriends. If I hurt them I would be in jail from all the anger. It's disrespectful as hell when men ask me for sex especially if they don't know me at all. Fucking walking stds

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    • Fuck that. You know what kills good genuine men? its the shit you saying. Us Men are made to feel terrible for asking for sex, when it's not bad. We just want to have fun and we think you going to have fun. But no... we get this shit. So a guy listens to it, becomes some fucking awkward dumbass on the topic of sex and becomes so boring for women. Then the final blow comes when you girls start getting sex and the guy who didn't ask has to watch it happen. Then he asks himself where did he go wrong. Bullshit.

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    • @Scrambledagain YOU Are The sexually frustrated loser who is complaining on gag

    • wow, taking a personal dig at me without an actual defence. You must of been on the a list in debate class.

  • Most guys in your age range don't want a relationship and the ones that do are already in one. You're young and guys will start wanting to settle down more as they get older.

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  • Maybe you're meeting guys in the wrong places. Do you frequent in clubs/bars?

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