I'm really confused and hurt by a few guys I've met and have been crushing on lately. These guys admit to having a crush on me and finding me pretty and they want sex but don't want to be in a relationship. I am looking for something serious not hookups and it seems like most guys only want hookups.. I'm starting to think there is something wrong with me that guys don't want to date me. I'm not dramatic, I work and go to school, I'm kind and go out of my way for people. Is it me? or is it them?
HeyWhisper, don't worry its not you! Its the guys. Many guys around our age are just not willing to settle for relationships yet. They are very focussed on dating around and getting laid.
When you get older more and more guys mature and the chances of coming across a guy willing to commit increases (I still think the girls are 3 years older mentally could apply here :P).
But one big tip i can give you just in case your making this mistake : Stop waiting for those attractive guys to approach you at the bar. The guys who practised there game so much they have no trouble convincing you they are great or smooth talking you into bed. Go for the cute guy in the corner minding his own business and don't be affraid to approach first.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with you, you just have to find the "right guy" & I promise you they are out there, you just have to wait for them to come around. I thought the same way you did before I met my boyfriend, and he never rushed into anything or pressured me into doing something I didn't want too. We waited about 3 months before we did anything, just because I wanted to be sure (bc I was a virgin) don't feel pressured into having sex with some boys that probably don't deserve ya anyway, sweetheart. just wait for the perfect guy, he'll come around. 😘
Your relationship material, these guys are obviously not boyfriend material and they know it, so they try and make themselves look more macho than they fel by insisting on sex only relationships not realising that all this does is make them look very small in shallow water, so no its not you. and guys will want to date you, you just got to be patient for the guys worthy of you and not guys who think your worthy of them, x
The way I see it you may crushing on the wrong 'kind' of guys. The instant you hear them say "I'm not interested in a relationship" get the fk outta there and head for the hills. There are men and then there are assholes... choose wisely.
Most guys (especially young ones) are not wanting to get into relationships, they are usually controlling, demeaning, and not fun for the males. Women want to enforce their ideas into us and control everything we do, say, and think. SO when we can help it, we often opt out of the relationship crap.
We sometimes get caught in one because the female will make us play her game in order to get sex, and when we are forced to wait, or have to jump through the stupid hoops and shit tests, we get roped in.
It's not that you are flawed but they see you as an appealing sexual option but don't see you as an appealing romantic option. It's no different than how women see me as date-able but not sexually appealing enough to have a casual hookup with. It is what it is. Find someone who sees you differently.
For a lot of guys a relationship has more drawbacks than advantages. Many guys are pretty emotionally self-sufficient. It might look to you like you have a lot to offer but what you are offering is not something they want much and the time and constraints are too high a price.
The sad thing is a lot of times these guys who are more emotionally self-sufficient are more attractive to women. Guys who want a relationship seem weak and needy.
I want to know the same thing. I never dated in college because the men Just wanted sex and some of them had girlfriends. If I hurt them I would be in jail from all the anger. It's disrespectful as hell when men ask me for sex especially if they don't know me at all. Fucking walking stds