I'm married, but slept with another woman, what do I do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Stop being a cheater, and tell your wife.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Tell your wife you cheated. Apologize if you really mean it. Tell her you want to either divorce or want to work it out. Give her the option of what she wants to do. Give her space to make her decision.

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What Girls Said 20

  • Tell your wife. I hope the 10 minutes of pleasure was worth all you're about to screw up.

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  • What do you do? Figure out what you want, if you can't take the guilt don't tel your wife, only tell your wife to be honest with her, not because you feel guilty. This isn't about you, it's about her. Get down to the reason why you did this, did you plan it? If so you're not necessarily happy in your marriage. What are you lacking? Are you just selfish and wanted more?

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  • Tell your wife. Wait for the divorce papers. Gtfo of her life.

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    • Would you still give that advice if they have children? If you would, then you obviously don't have any one that you're close to that's been through their parents getting divorced.

    • @CheerGirl38139 - I DO know people who are close to their parents who have been through a divorce.

      I would MUCH rather my parents get a divorce than have one get a free pass for being a scumbag who deserves to rot in hell.

  • Do the only decent thing.. Own Up.

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  • I think you need to tell your wife!

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  • Tell your wife and get tested to make sure you didn't get anything.

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  • Tell ur wife, talk it out, apologize, don't do it again... Just b honest with her...

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  • Do you want to stay with your wife? If so, tell her what you did and tell her why you did it, explain how terrible you feel for hurting her, and then wait and let her decide what she wants to do. Be prepared for either. I know it's the hard thing to do, but you don't do anyone a service by not saying anything. Yes, it would mean that she wouldn't feel hurt, but its also FALSE. Don't let the both of you live a lie, tell the truth.

    Usually people cheat for a reason, was there something you weren't getting out of the relationship that you needed? If not, tell her that, and break up. Next time, try to recognize if you are in an unfulfilling relationship and split up with the person before you seek another individual.

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  • Tell her and emphasize that the decision is hers to act on what she knows, but that you love her no matter what she chooses and you will respect her decision, after all, you made a decision without consulting her, so you now need to suck it up and be a bigger man and face the consequences. You'd be a coward if you didn't say anything.

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  • Fess up to your wife and prepare to do whatever it takes to build her trust again. Marriage counseling would help as well.

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  • Tell your wife! This may seem impossible but it's the right thing to do and its better than her finding out on her own. Who knows, maybe she will forgive you.

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  • I would tell my partner what I have done. I'd tell them soon, mainly since the longer you wait, the worse it may get.

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  • Before you tell your wife and destroy her, do you even know why you did it?

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    • WTF with the down vote? I just wanted some context first. Damn.

      Fucking prudes on here. SMH

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    • @ThisDudeHere I think we are finally on a similar page, and we don't know if the @Asker has kids or not. My only concerns were since he already made the poor decision, what (if any) are the other factors before giving him advice. Peace.

  • Why did you do it?

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  • Tell your wife. Hope she was worth it.

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  • tell yo wife and apologize smh...

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  • Build a fort. Then tell your wife what you did so you can hide in the fort for a few months.

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  • First thing's first, do you feel bad? This should determine your next step. If you do then I say you keep it in and hold your own burnden and never let her find out. Erase everything and wipe it clean and forget it ever happened. But you need to hold it and not cheat further. If you don't feel bad tell her and let her live in turmoil... relationships can get past cheating, I believe it's the lies that keep us apart. But in your case if there's zero chance that she will ever find out you never to never speak of it again. This could be a case of what she doesn't know, can't hurt her.

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  • Tell your wife and get tested. Apologize. Hopefully she leaves you

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  • Who cares. It doesn't matter anyway

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What Guys Said 17

  • Hey, you shouldn't really do that... Depends on your wife, think hard, is she the type that if you tell her the truth she'll want a divorce? If she'll will just kill you, then tell her. But if she'll want a divorce-type, you should probably keep that secret as long as you can and make sure you never do it again like never again (if you were to do it again, remember this incident and stop it from happening) (By it I don't just mean sleeping with another woman, I mean any type of cheating). I am sure you might think, if you lied, she might find out and kill you for sure, I can assure you if that happens, I can help you :D.

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    • Since HIV has a 3 month incubation, that means 3 months no unprotected sex with anyone (your wife included) until you get an OK result.

  • Step one: resolve to either end your marriage, or never do this again.
    Step two: get tested for STDs
    Step three: a) If she will never find out - don't tell her. It only helps you feel less guilty, it doesn't help her at all.
    b) If she might find out, then throw yourself at her feet - literally, and tell her as much of the truth as you think she needs to know.

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  • Keep your bloody mouth shut and try and forget it happened. This total honesty crap is overrated. Mind you women have got senses we can't even fathom. Chances are she suspects it already just by the way you act. Never underestimate a woman's cunning. Thing is she's willing to ignore her feelings unless you put it in front of her. Denial is a strong force in this world. It stops people having to deal with painful truths. don't paint a picture for her

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  • You D-bag! Have her divorce you so that she can be free of your bullshit. Then go under a rock and stay there for the rest of your life.

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  • Why, what do you WANT to do? I don't even see what you are supposed to want to do.

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  • It takes heart to confess. Just be honist.

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  • I can't find one woman to go out with, you sleep with another woman while you have a wife at home. I'm not gonna lie, I envy you.

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  • Tell your wife. At least let her have the satisfaction of dumping you.

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  • Dude... divorce, you too young to be married. This was gonna happen anyway lol. No biggie. This shut happens. Just leave.

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  • Do it again.

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  • Don't tell her you've been cheating on her, just call for a divorce and move on with your life.

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  • good for you, nothing wrong in cheating.

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  • Surprised at how many people said "don't tell her".
    Dude of course you tell her. Not telling her to not hurt her feelings is BS.

    She will find out eventually, she fucking lives with you. She's your wife, she knows you in and out. Chances are she probably can tell that there's something way off, she can even tell that you might be cheating.

    Keeping it in will just put a divide between you two and you'll never have a fulfilling relationship, it will never be fixed because you're separate now, you're holding back from each other, you're not united.
    Telling her is your only option, you might come out a stronger couple if you were meant to, or you might come out separate individuals. Don't live a lie, you'll pay for it with your happiness and hers.

    Yes the truth will hurt. But it's not obviously the be all end all. If it's honestly a poor choice you regret, then maybe you can fix your relationship and get back on track in a way you couldn't have before.
    If it's not, then your relationship was doomed for failure anyways.

    Holding it in is just postponing the inevitable. You'll be unhappy and unfulfilled in the relationship and eventually you'll either break it off or cheat again. It's best for both of you that you face the painful truth.

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  • Don't listen to the clam.

    YOU NEVER TELL, but you should stop doing it.

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  • What made you do that?

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  • I think you should promise yourself you'll not do that again if you tell your wife she'll get hurt and yes she'll doubt you whenever you'll go out so if better to forget that and don't repeat

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