How long does a friends with benefits usually last and how do you know when to end it?

I have been "seeing" this guy off and on for almost 5 months. We hook up at least once a week. We have been on a handful of dates (movies, lunch, dinner and he even came out with me to karaoke even though he hates it.) I sleep over regularly.
He has told me before (like 2 months ago) he has a "feeling" that makes him not see anything past what we are. He can't explain it though.
As far as I know, he doesn't see anyone else, though he does talk to other women.
We can talk for hours, he is extremely affectionate, we cuddle and hold hands after and during sex. I am confused by him. I think he is scared of commitment.
But, I need a commitment. It's been going on long enough that he needs to make up his mind. I don't know how to talk to him without scaring him away. He doesn't like to talk about feelings at all. I know I am going to get more hurt the longer this goes on.
I have been on a couple dates (non-sex dates) trying to meet someone to make me forget about this guy. The newest guy has potential.
If I can't get some kind of commitment from the guy I've been 5 months with, how do I allow myself to get over him? (this is a question more for the ladies.)

I don't sleep with anyone else. He says he doesn't. We're both clean. And I'm on the pill.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You're not who he is looking for regarding relationship material or he just enjoys the freedom of being single. Either way, he's getting sex from you without making a commitment. He has no motivation to take the relationship any further. Now he gets sex from you when he wants, has the freedom to sleep with other girls, and does what he wants when he wants. He loses two of the three aforementioned freedoms if he commits to you.


What Guys Said 2

  • As long as you want, and a good rule is if you decide to end it when one of you gets in a serious relationship

  • pregnancy, stds can last a lifetime and a broken heart sometiems never heals.


What Girls Said 0

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