Should I leave the friendship?

I became friends with a guy who knows my mother and knew of my father's passing. Months go by and we're super close friends. I've revealed to him on two ocassions that I've liked him more as a friend but on both times, he friend-zoned me. Recently, I told him over the phone that I was "breaking up" with him of our friendship because I just didn't see the point. He got emotional over the fact that even though he friend-zoned me, he emphasized that I was the friend he needed and that an awesome friendship came out of it.

Lately though, I've been feeling really stressed because there are a lot of times that I wake up of nightmares of him and I fighting or him abandoning me and I don't know why.

I really liked him and now, I don't but I just feel overall sad that he could reject someone as good-hearted as me. He's into "loose girls" and all that kind of stuff. I have even more stress because I think his older brother may like me too but I don't even know anymore.

I just feel like ghosting him even though he and his brother have been good to me but... I can't help but feel the want to leave without saying anything. I did it once but I went back because I've never had a good friend and wasn't sad anymore.

I'm just really depressed, honestly, because I've been rejected so much it hurts by all kinds of men even from the ones that seem the right type... it just seems hopeless and even praying for love is a lot of work.

I don't know what to do.

I'm clouded by doubts, stress, and hopelessness.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well it sounds like he's dragging you along for the ride. He is aware of your feelings and knows they are still there, that is cruel. Your dream sounds like you really rely on him for emotional support. As stated you are stressed and you are afraid of him leaving you in your time of need. What you need to figure out is what does he do for you? Is it just his presence that comforts you or does he actually ask how you are and listens to help you. You may need a little bit of finding yourself as stupid as it sounds. You dont have friends, which is okay, however you feel the need to have one to fulfill yourself. Also, in this case he may even see this as clingy.

    Overall, you need to learn to rely upon yourself for a bit for emotional support as in self soothing. He cannot fulfill this for you and that is a lot of pressure to be putting on a person. If you should ghost him? I am not sure, if it is as devastating for you to not have that social connection, keep it, but you need to sort out yourself. Try a social worker in a few months if this attention to yourself does not help. They are amazing listeners and do not object to a conversation or thoughts. The best part? Its confidential.

    Best of Luck 🐥🌝

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    • Thank you so much for your helpful advice. He's been there for me and cares about me but I suppose I'm only keeping him around because if I unfriend him, then I'll always have no friends. But is the stress and angst really worth it.

      I'm tired of it all and just want not only new friends but a guy who will see me as maybe the love of his life... I really hope that exists for me. :(

    • Show All
    • @unspoiltbrat2, I appreciate your comment so much! It was quite the surprise. Here's one from me to you:

      That was so kind and thoughtful of you to go out of your way to comment on a question I thought most people had overlooked until @colouredconfetti came by. You are a very sweet man and your compliment gave me a big smile this morning! :)

    • Thank you very much for telling me of that. And, you are so very welcome. We need many more nice people in the world of today.

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