Would this be a deal breaker?

I was talking to my partner who I have been dating for a short time and I just found out he is against gay marriage. I am for gay marriage. I am opened minded enough to understand that everyone has a right to their own opinions and beliefs so I don't think any less of him. I'm trying to figure out why exactly he is against it out of curiosity, and in all honesty it is kind of a turn off for me. Like I'm bummed he doesn't feel the same way about it as I do. One thing I have learned about my past major relationship is compatibility deserves much more credit then it usually gets. My ex and I had nothing in common and it caused nothing but lots of fights and never having fun with eachother because we liked completely different things.
I really like this man and this is probably the first big disagreement we've had on something. But it's something I strongly believe in and I have friends who are gay. He does too... Which is why I'm confused he's apposed to it... But could this be a deal breaker? I don't want this to bite me in the ass down the road, but I wouldn't want to end it over something like this anyway. Thoughts?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe he is bummed that you don't agree with him.. This whole post has been about what you like and what you want. I am not entirely for or against gay anything. I won't permits it nor deny them their rights but they better leave me the hell alone that's for dang sure !! Your guy has every bit the right to no like it as you do to support it

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    • And that's why I put I don't think less of him. I understand he has the right, but sometimes beliefs can be a deal breaker.

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    • That makes sense. I'm not trying to run away, I just don't want to end up where my last relationship ended. I feel it could have been avoided if we took our compatibility into consideration earlier on. I guess I'm just afraid, we are talking about it and the conversation so far has been friendly, I guess I'm just afraid.

    • The importiant thing is to weigh all aspect before anger can become a part of things. Once the anger Clair's up its all pointless from there. No one will be rational once they are angry

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't see why something like that should be a deal breaker. I do think that two people need to have similar values and beliefs in order for a relationship to work but is disagreeing about the concept of gay marriage that big of a deal? Why should that affect your relationship? If you really feel THAT strongly about it then it may cause issues but ultimately, I don't see why disagreeing about gay marriage should be a deal breaker in a relationship.

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    • Thanks. I feel this way too, Im just afraid of repeating my mistakes and getting in a incompatible relationship.

    • Well, do you have any other differing beliefs that you're aware of? Maybe that's just something you should talk to him about.

What Guys Said 2

  • Well, not really a deal breaker by itself, but it would add to other imperfections. This is something more to roll your eyes at. My brother-in-law is gay, and my wife did tell me if I didn't like gays she would break up with me since her brother is gay. Not liking gays and not believing in gay marriage aren't exactly the same, but then again they sorta are. If he has no problem with gay people, but just the legality of the marriage part, I don't think that would be a deal breaker.

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  • Whether this is a deal breaker depends upon the ability of both of you to not be arrogant and assume that your opinion is the only correct opinion. The fact that you feel strongly about it doesn't mean that you are right; it only means that you feel strongly about it.

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    • I never said I was right, I pretty much put that I understand he has his own thoughts and views. What I'm wondering is if our opposing beliefs will become conflictions.

    • Do you think you are a more sophisticated and tolerant person than he is?

What Girls Said 2

  • I say overlook it, it's just a difference of opinion and so it's not a deal breaker and all that matters is how he treats YOU.

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    • Because we want to feel free to still be who we are when we're a part of a couple... so don't make him feel like you reject him because he sees it his own way. And he has to do the same for you.

    • I told him I was curious to why he felt that way but that I wasn't trying to judge him. I'm hoping he doesn't think that I will think less of him for not agreeing.

    • Exactly... maybe in his upbringing, who knows but don't make an issue out of something that doesn't relate to how he is with you.

  • hmmm maybe you two could have a friendly discussion about the pros and cons of gay marriage and why you believe that gay marriage is okay.

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