Long story short, I have lesbians who live above me (who my girlfriend is perfectly okay with, has hung out with them on several occassions on her own, with me, and I have alone with them as well) just the other night, I was up there and she was fine. She told me to go so I wouldn't be bored at the apartment by myself as she was going to dinner with her parents and to visit her sister. I asked if she could come up when she got home and she said okay. The night went by and she came home, however she never came upstairs.
So as she got home, I immediately left to go hang out with her. As I walked in the door, she greeted me with a hug and kiss, asked if I had fun and who was there. I told her the 2 lesbians (no names mentioned), a guy never showed up, and one of the lesbians boss came too. They cooked dinner and we sat on the patio and talked while listening to music. Soon as I finished, SHE WENT OFF.
I do not know why. So I asked, she said "I do not want you hanging out with girls alone" I said, "they are lesbians... who you said I could hang out with, who you've hung out with as well" She said, "I am okay with them, it's the straight girl I don't like" So I said? I'm not sure I understand. She had a boyfriend, who did not come because he wanted his girlfriend to have fun.. so are you telling me that I should've left soon as the straight girl got there because you do not trust girls?
It's out of my control to tell our friends who they can and cannot invite and I find it a bit ridiculous you're telling me to leave just because a straight girl walked in. She responded with "do what you want then but if I ask my girlfriends if they would put up with this they'd say no"
So my question is, is that right of her to act like that? And should I no longer hang out with those 2 lesbians because there's a possibility of them inviting "straight girls" over and my girlfriend doesn't trust them yet she trusts me?
From the responses, it seems it boils down to her having trust issues and it really doesn't have anything to do with the other girls, it would be me. Having tried talking to her about this on 2 different occasions, I still cannot get her to talk to me about it without getting mad or understanding the way that I feel and if I try, all she does is counter with something negative or bring up the whole "guess I'm old fashioned" so what should my next steps be?
Most Helpful Girl
That is honestly not normal behavior. And that, coming from me, means that this is seriously wacky! Me and my boyfriend consider even looking at another sexually cheating, so we have pretty high standards, but never has he got mad at me for being in the presence of a straight man. Nor have I got mad at him for that.
On that note, I have a few recommendations.
First, get yourself out BY YOURSELF. Go for a nice relaxing walk or go see puppies in a pet store. Clear your head.
When your head is feeling clearer, head on back and have a chat with the Mrs.
Do NOT use words like, "you do this" instead use, "I feel like this is happening..."
I suggest you say something along the lines of, "Baby, I feel like you don't trust me. That hurts because I love you so much, I trust you with everything.." And see where it goes.
Things to remember while talking to her:
Listen. If she's hurt, she's hurt, and she needs her man.
Be gentile. She probably already feels bad.
But. Still say what you need to say.
Good luck to you!! I hope all goes well.0
Most Helpful Guy
Well, your girl shouldn't be telling you who you can and can't hang out with. It's your call until you show you aren't capable of maintaining responsible boundaries.0