How far can you go with a guy on the first date and have him still respect you?

im talking people over the age of 21.
like where does the respect get lost? i never have sex on the first date. but i still feel that making out is still a no go on the first date if im really serious about the guy. or is that just me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Depends on the guy. If during the date she has given me a good impression and demonstrated me that she wants something serious, I can have sex with her in the first date and still consider her relationship material... but not every guy is like that.

    Don't do what the guy would like you to do, make the guy like you for what you do.

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    • yeah but she needs to express her intentions first okay. you were the first to say that.

      right now there is no particular guy. i was speaking with my guy friend who is gay and i was telling him what its like to be a straight girl dating versus being a gay guy dating

    • You always have to state your intentions first, and ask him what his are, that way you know if you're on the same boat or not.

    • it makes sense to be straight forward.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that is just you and let me tell you why. Much of this depends on what you feel for the guy. I've been to bed with guys on the first date but it was lust and I used him as much as he used me. He was hot. And there have been others too. Every guy will try to sleep with you even before the first day when he knocks on the door to see if your home. Just accept it. So you control the situation as I assume you already knew. If you really had a good time and you want to see the guy again when he drops you off throw your arms around him give him a hug, a genuine hug and say I really enjoyed your company. I hope you asked me out again. And that's it

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What Guys Said 11

  • I really think that it depends on the girl. If I had a genuine connection with that girl, I wouldn't lose respect for her for sleeping with me on the first date. If we were just trying to use each other for sex, then there was no respect for each other in the first place.

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    • okay okay makes sence. for you. just curious. can you gain respect for a girl with just reaing good things about her. or do you judge baised off of first hand knowlege?

  • Lol well its different from guy to guy but most guys prefer if she didn't had sex the first time

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    • okay. but what about before sex? like kissing and groping over the clothes. fair game?

    • Yes for sure

    • okay thanks for being honest!

  • I wouldn't disrespect a woman just because we had sex after first date. And I wouldn't respect a woman just because she haven't sleep with me after one date.

    Respect isn't something that has anythin with sex.

    And why are these rules are applied only to women? I don't see guys asking 'How far should I go for her to take me seriously?'

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    • I've also wondered why women only worry about it too. but there is just always been the view of a guy who has had many partners is cool. and a women who has had many is a slut

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    • @asker generally not, but there are exceptions.

    • @tyber1 heem okay interesting

  • You dont even kiss the first date. Anything else if he trys anything you walk for good

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    • If a girl wants me to do anhything more then a kiss when we are new I am walking out on her

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    • That's justified to slap them hard right in the face

    • No but they can say they want things like foreplay

  • Yes as far as I'm concerned even kissing with a stranger is going to far, kissing is still an intimate act.

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    • but what if there was a 3 month long of flirting and talking everyday process before the first date ever happened? then they aren't a stranger more like a friend

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    • I don't think that you lose much, must of those guys looking for one night stands anyway.

    • yeah i just feel like. you effing serious.. its like a child throwing a tantrum

  • Making out is pretty rare, but not necessarily taboo in my opinion

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  • Personally I would say if you really want complete respect, at least 3 dates before sex, making out after the second mmaybe

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    • okay okay sounds reasonable. but for guys does an invitation to come inside immediatly mean sex is also being offered? because i dont like kissing in public and like i dont have a car...

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    • hmmmm so frustrating

  • You could go all the way and a guy could still respect you. I'd respect a woman if she'd went all the way with me.

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  • If we have sex early on, not only will I not respect her less, I will like her more.

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    • but early on for you is when?

    • 1st or 2nd date, unless we're basically strangers.

  • May be not more than 100 miles.

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  • There is no sexual act which could cause me to lose any respect for a girl. Any loss of respect will come from decisions and the character she displays in other areas. I think guys who lose respect for a woman over sex are insecure.

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    • okay its good to know thanks

What Girls Said 4

  • i won't make out on a first date. most ill get to is a kiss on the cheek. i tend to take my time with the physical stuff now [ive learned from my mistakes] and I'm not changing that for anyone.

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    • im. sorry you had troubles with it before. i wish there wasn't the issue of we should or shouldn't wait...

  • Well I don't know. But I think you lose the respect when your not in a relatioship and you just have sex... bc he could totally leave.

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  • If it's JUST meeting someone, like not a friend first, not a co-worker, then yeah, I wouldn't even be into kissing that fast... have a few hours just talking, it's normal.

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    • yeah i feel more comfortable with that

  • Just take your time. No shame in waiting!

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    • well there is no specific guy right now. i was just having a convo with my gay male friend about the differneces between first date expectations.

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