Losing interest or very stressed?

I have been dating this guy for six weeks and its all been going great until about a week ago. He is extremely busy- works at a big corporate accounting firm during the week, is a server at a restaurant on the weekends and is studying for his CPA so he barely has free time. We have seen each other at least once a week but this past week i have definitely been the proactive one and he has responded positviely but i have been the one initiating contact and setting up time to hang out. He has not texted me like he used to. He has voiced that he feels overworked and is stressed about his test in two weeks. I am scared that his lack of proactiveness means he is not interested but maybe he is just stressed and trying to sort everything else so I am thinking I give him some breathing room and if he wants to see me he will. Advice on this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Look gal as u said he has been extremely busy and stressed out so u can expect less response from him.. u 2 have been dating for six weeks now so he also can expect some understanding from u.. give him some time.. we guys gets busy often and expect our girls to understand and support them.. u r doing right thing by initiating in these situation so keep it up.. nd he will be more interested in u after that..

    • Ok so you don't think it would be annoying of me in a few days just to be like hey hope the studying is going ok or should I just completely not contact him and if he likes me enough he will reach out when he can?

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    • ok awesome. Ya over the past week when its been me initiating more of the convos than he has- which was a first given the first four weeks of seeing him. He was very responsive, answered fast and genuinely answered me enthusiastically and seemed to feel sort of bad when he didn't set a concrete plan until I sort of prodded him in which he did right away. Hanging out hasn't felt weird either. My point is that I don't think he won't respond I think he is too nice to do that. Its just how long does he being reactive not proactive start to mean something. Don't think I can clarify that until after this test is over in two weeks.

    • Yeah right.. You should clarify that but only after he becomes free..

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think he just has so much in life right now that its best for him to take care of his business. You tell him that you feel un-cared but totally understand how crazy his schedule is and you plan on giving him space. If he wants to he can come vist.

    • I feel like maybe instead of voicing that I feel sort of neglected in this maybe I just sort use my actions give some space check in periodically so he knows I haven't completely faded away and if he wants to make moves he will. I'm scared to be that straightforward so early into seeing him and to cause another drama when he already has so much happening

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    • Ya I know you're right I'm scared to scare him off. If he is actually uninterested it'll just be highly embarrassing but I guess better to find out than pine over this!

    • yeah I mean... instead of wondering just do it!


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What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds like he has a lot going on. I wouldn't worry about it unless it lasts after things calm down at work

    • Ya definitely understand that. Should I just stop initiating any contact like give maximum space or sort of like text maybe after some days have passed if I haven't heard from him? So go radio silent or show him im still interested and understand the amount of pressure he's under.

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    • oh ok haha glad I clarified! alright so maybe in a few days if I don't hear from him i'll send something of that nature. Like casual and supportive and not needy or crazy

    • Yeah just be casual about it. dont make a big deal or like you're making a huge sacrifice, just a I'm here when you have time, but I know you have a lot on your plate kind of message

What Girls Said 1

  • Yes. Give him some room. I've been through this. If he feels he's being pulled in all directions for his work and commitments to be pulled by one more thing (you), may be his breaking point. Have you slept together yet?

    • Yes we have and it was pretty early on into seeing each other. After we slept together weeks ago his pursuit of me actually got stronger. Just this past week it's been like really nothing initiated from him. We went out Saturday night - after he worked at the restaurant in the day and studied a bit in the evening so I see some "effort" to see me beyond his schedule. Should I text him in a few days like hope your studying is going ok or really just go radio silence and wait for him to reach out?

    • Yeah text him in a few days and wish him well with studying and his test but don't ask him out or to get together... Yet.

    • Ok got it. I'm scared that if he really had lost interest my texts will be super annoying but I'm not sure it's the case because he does respond to my texts fast and enthusiastically and did suggest seeing each other Saturday when I asked so I'm not sure he would even do that if he wanted this to be done. I'm going to take your advice and if I don't hear from him maybe Friday I'll shoot a text