If I ask a guy out should I pay?

I went out with this guy and he paid we had a great time. He asked me out again but I had to work and I really wanted to go I'm not quite sure if he knows that I really wanted to go but any ways he is taking way to long to ask me out again so I'm thinking about taking the intiative and asking him out myself. he's the type of guy who will want to pay should I let him or should I pay since I would be asking? I'm totally fine with me paying I'm just not sure how it should go. I need all the help I can get so if y'all could give me date ideas as well that would be perfect.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • the guy should come prepared to pay... but you need to be prepared also... when it comes time for the check... and you are waiting... if he asks then he's got it... if you ask for the check... see if he takes it from you... but be prepared... and he might pay if he likes you... if he doesn't by that by no means signifies he inst attracted to you... basically be prepared.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Foot the bill.
    It's not whether he's a gentleman or not that he has to pay. I find it awkward that a guy should always foot a bill. It makes me feel lesser. A lot of girls also take it for granted that a man has to be the payer, but that idea comes from the fact that men would be the breadwinner. Because of that, girls also feel good when a guy pays. It's "manly".
    True, it's mentally and financially lighter to get a free meal, but I would rather go dutch, or french, else, on alternating dates, foot the whole bill. Basically, I don't want to impose on him too much. Also, if I am earning, I can afford and would rather be independent.

    If he insists, be more insistant. If he's too persistent, then let him take it.

    Last time I went out for a lunch, the guy was a payer. He shot me down when I offered to pay half. But for desserts, we went to a different place, and I shot him down and payed the whole bill. He had this look on his face, "OH NO, I'm making her pay!" But I don't want him to think that he needs to be the payer all the time. That's unfair. Guys should feel light too at times. Also, he shouldn't feel ashamed that a girl was paying the bill. Wtf does that mean, you know?

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What Guys Said 16

  • Im the type of guy who doesn't like to be leached when im taking a girl out. He has already paid on your first date so why should he pay again. At least split it, that is what I do. I don't know why most women think its okay to make the man pay for everything. If you alteast pay for half it would show him that your not trying to take advantage of him.

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  • You've already gone on the first date, so the next dates should be split. If he says he has it, say you should split it. Unless he keeps insisting, don't let him pay, you don't wanna give the impression you're using him for his money.

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  • You should pay since you are asking. However, it is highly likely that he will either pay for himself or foot the whole bill.

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  • I think if you asked him out, you should totally offer to pay the whole thing, he will most likely disagree and at least want to pay his half if not the whole thing!

    But even if you end up paying the whole thing, that's fine too, right?

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  • Invite him, and before you go, ask him that as you asked him you feel you should pay. If he protests just let him.

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  • Well, he agreed to the date, so he should pay half I think, I don't think its fair for either of you to expect the other to pay full.

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  • If you can afford it, pay for it. If you can't, and he's a good guy, he'll understand.

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  • Technically the one who takes the other out would pay, since you asked him out that would be you. Though I would probably pay anyways if it were me.

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  • Seems fair. A lot of women use the 'he asked' thing as an excuse to make the guy pay without seeming sexist. I'm glad some are genuine at least.

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  • I think the payer should be the inviter. Ask him out, and you pay. If he wants to set up a plan for the two of you, he pays. What do you think?

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  • when it comes u say you want pay and u pay it. if u want it.. if he really really dont let you pay you come back. but its good a girl pay i think make feel like the value more the time they spend together

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  • Better split the bill.

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  • The real man won't let his girl to pay

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  • No you shouldn't. Especially if your gonna put out

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  • The guy should never, ever pay.

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  • Shoulda offered on the first date. maybe 50/50 this time

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What Girls Said 3

  • I think its sweet it show you care about him! Maybe even buy him some flowers.

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  • Yea offer, insist.
    If he is rigid about it, tell him to split.
    And if he still doesn t accept, fine let him pay.
    But I d tell him I won t go out next time with you if you keep paying for me.
    I mean it s sweet 1st 2nd time, then I start to feel awkward and like I owe him smthng.

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  • Because you askes him be prepared to pay but if he is a gentleman he will not allow you to pay.

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    • Usually, the argument for men paying the whole bill is that "he asked her out", now you would be sexist enough to impose a gender role on him despite the fact that she asked him out? (acting out of her "gender role") That... is disgusting.

    • @Bookwik thanks for ur opinion on the matter ☺

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