Who's in the wrong here? Me or him?

He basically asked me how far I'd go and I basically said I'd kiss but I wouldn't do anything sexual then he was like...
(He's the grey btw)

Who's in the wrong here? Me or him?

  • He's out of order
    56% (20)51% (22)53% (42)Vote
  • You are out of order
    44% (16)49% (21)47% (37)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
He asked me my view on handjobs... This poll is silly

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think either of you are in the wrong. I think you misunderstood what he was saying and he misunderstood what you were saying. This is a typical example of how the male and female brain sees the same situation differently because they are wired differently.

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    • this ^ I will add texting is a potion for something to be taken out of context, you can't hear someone's tone when talking through text.

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    • @BarbaraP Thank you for your support.

    • Thank you for MHA

Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, I think he's out of order based on your update. I've seen guys do this before, he's trying to blur the lines of what is or isn't sexual and then deny that he has any bad intentions. I've had guys tell me they want to seduce me and shit but turn around and claim it's not sexual, it's just him trying to play mind games. Just tell him that you officially have a "No sex conversation" rule from now on to "avoid misunderstandings"

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What Guys Said 26

  • DOES HE HAVE TO SAY AHA BETWEEN EACH DAMN LETTER?

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  • He's out of order, using 'aha' too often... as far as kissing is concerned, kissing can be the entrĂ©e to something sexual... but kissing in and of itself is not necessarily a sexual act, just as watching someone dancing isn't... but then kissing could be sexual, depending on what I was kissing, and how I was kissing, and maybe even where my hands are, how my body is positioned in relation to hers and hers to mine... so I would say that the argument touch on a topic without getting into the details, the minutiae of the act to determine whether the act in question would be sexual or not, and that's where you are both wrong... I would call it 'surface argument'.

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  • I think neither of the options of your poll is correct... to be honest I think it was a fairly innocent discussion but the problem is that this is the sort of discussion which is easier under 4 eyes.
    Than you can really discuss these things and any misunderstanding will quickly get sorted out.
    I think he feels offended because you interpreted it as him wanting to get into sexual contact whereas his intention may have been to carefully ask you what was okay and what not.
    I would send him a short message saying you feel uncomfortable about probably having misunderstood him and suggest you talk it out :D

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  • I think it was just miscommunication on both y'all s parts, neither one of you were really in the right or wrong.

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  • To me it looked like he was trying to convince you to believe his definition of "sexual." He wasn't focused on the point of what you were trying to say: how you felt about kissing and going beyond.

    What does aha and xxxx mean? 😮 I'm curious lol

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  • i love how every time he says something rude he lightens it by adding "aha"

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  • I mean, if he REALLY knew and accepted where you stood on his subject, then why would he ask? To me it seems there's some kind of hidden intention, either he wanted you to "give in" and try to change your stand-point or else he's checking up on how long he has to "wait for it," which if the latter is the case, he's a dick. This isn't just "general interest."

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  • Texting is bad for this.
    He's right though. There's looking at someone:
    https://i.imgur.com/d2SPYy8h.jpg

    And then there's looking at someone in a sexual way:
    http://i.imgur.com/4VuDB.gif

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    • Ewwwww this gif makes me laugh every time I see it but at the same time it's so gross 😂

  • I think he is getting at something else... ie:handjobs

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  • I can see both sides off this.
    Anything can be sexual if you make it that way.
    we all have different views and understandings off things.

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  • Seems neutral neither of you are there isn't always a right or wrong.

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  • difficult to see on a text... but if he's asking you about handjobs I think he's obvs wanting more.
    what you mean he's 'grey btw' ?
    gotta admit text was difficult to read cos of the constant 'aha' :-(

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  • Seems like he is out of order, you have made things pretty clear with him... and what's with so many xxxxx in convo lol xxx

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  • I just voted random, there is no objective wrong here, it's opinion.

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  • Anything can be sexual for different people.
    I can see both sides of this.

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  • He sounds like a fuckboi.

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  • When he hears sexual, he thimks sex-ual

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  • I'm not even quite sure where this is going.

    Kissing can be sexual. He's right, like he said, so can dancing, anything can be sexual in the right context.

    Is this about how far you would go with each other? So he want's a handjob is that it?

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  • he is going to stop talking to u soon believe me u sound like a boring and dramatic person

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  • Based on what you put up, I don't really see where he was wrong.

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  • I see kissing as sexual, at least making out anyway, so I sort of agree with him.

    However I get the impression that you'd discussed what you were comfortable doing with him before and now he's asking about hand jobs and trying to blur the lines between what's sexual and non-sexual. I wouldn't believe the bit about not trying to get in your knickers...

    You asked this a few days ago so hopefully you've resolved this?

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    • Well sort of... we did end up making out and things did get quite heated but he tried to push my hand down and I had to pull it away... really annoyed me since everything we talked about

    • Have you been seeing him long?

    • Twice lol

  • You both are stupid

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  • $20 says you give in and give him a Bj the first opportunity you get.

    Your playing hard to get. How exciting. U watch. He will fire in under 3 minutes.

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    • Excuse me no. Don't be so rude anon man, I went to his and he tried to get sexual but I told him no. I have absolutely zero interest in sucking his willy- there's no desire to succumb to.

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    • The rag? I've got more class than you have in your little finger pal, don't talk to me or anyone else like such a dick.

    • You really must be ragging it ! Wow.
      Don't you think it's time to put a fresh one up in there? Your getting toxic I think.

  • Of course it can be sexual. But apparently he does feel it is and you don't. It's entirely possible for two people to experience the same thing differently...

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  • Kissing is indeed sexual and way more intimate than putting a penis in a vagina. I don't see either one of you out of order but he most certainly will not be satisfied in your relationship. You are not ready for sex, he seems to be pushy and ready for sex and in this early point in your relationship you two seem to have no future.

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  • Doesn't seem like anybody is in the wrong here. I think you just had different opinions on the matter.

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What Girls Said 19

  • I don't want to say one person is out of hand per se, but I think it's more of a misunderstanding between the two of you. You don't view kissing as something sexual, whereas he does. He's just trying to make that point, while you're trying to make yours. Lips are actually an erogenous zone, the same as breasts/nipples, and genitals. I know it's your mouth so it doesn't seem like much, but kissing is a sexual act because it involves an erogenous zone. It might not do anything for you, but for others it is quite arousing. This isn't necessarily a case of right and wrong between the two of you, just a difference in opinion. Kissing can be sexual, but it could also be nonsexual (ex: a mother's kiss on her child's forehead.) Same with a hug, there's a difference in a hug between friends and a sensual embrace between two lovers. If you're attracted to this boy, and kiss him on the lips in that way then yes, it would be sexual. If it's a friendly short peck on the cheek, not so much.

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  • He laughs way too much... it was quite distracting.
    Y'all weren't understanding each other. But he wasn't trying to sway you going off of this little bit. When people are talking with a romantic interest, sex happens to be on the mind and sometimes you talk about it. It is the human way. He knows where you stand, you've told him enough that he probably won't forget. Now talking and flirting is what happens. You can talk about sexual things and not have to do them. And yes kissing can be sexual... it is a way of intimacy. If you feel absolutely nothing, no attraction, then you are kissing the wrong guy. Kissing... not a couple second kiss or a peck on the lips, I mean a real kiss. A minute or longer with tongue could make your knees weak, give you goose bumps, turn you on etc. Those are the kisses to look for and those reactions are in fact sexual.

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  • As far a i know he is right. I mean i know many people over here would just say that he i wrong for the sake of getting the MHO. But if you take a look , you will get to know that 'sexual' doesn't always mean that you touch those parts and all the things that make you horny can be said as sexual.

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  • haahah! Itwas so obvious this guys just thirsty! I would have delete his ass ASAP! Who the hell does he think he is!

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  • what is this "aha" business... he sounds like a magician.

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  • Dang, he got u good. Hahahaha!!! Just a misunderstanding tho... nothing to worry about :)

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  • Yes, I've seen this too. He wants to push the envelope, and he'll try to downplay anything sexual so you'll feel like you're making too big of a deal and play along.

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  • Looks like a misinterpretation from both parties and a lack of understanding from each person. You could ask him what he meant by sexual, and he could of asked why you don't see certain things sexual and other things, you do.

    There was no need for him to talk about that topic (let alone bringing it up). If you were clear about it from the get go, i think he is just trying to find a way to talk about it and hopefully change your mind about sexual things.

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  • i think that you are out of order

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  • You're getting defensive when he's just saying that te little things women do can be very sexy. A small kiss, a certain look in his eyes, the touch of a hand et.

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    • He asked me if I'd give a hand job.,,

    • Oh well that changes things a bit lol. You should've mentioned that prior and I'm sure you would've gotten different answers.

    • Haha sorry I didn't want to be so vulgar

  • He's out of order. Also what the F is with the "aha"? He is trying to flip the script and guilt trip you now.

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    • It means "haha" basically. Yeah I think so too, manipulative.

    • Oh yeah I know. I just found it annoying he kept adding it to every response. I knew a guy who ended every text message with "lol". :P

  • aha I don't think either of you were in the wrong aha. Just tell him kissing only, nothing else (or whatever it is that you are ok with).

    ... aha

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  • Neither of you seem in the wrong

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  • It looks like you over reacted when he said kissing could be sexual.

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  • If you have to ask, he's too mature for you.

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  • Sounds like a misunderstanding "aha"
    (Seriously how many times can you say aha in one conversation)

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  • I remember when I was like that. Lol

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  • I think he's right, tbh. You just misunderstood though, that's all :)

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  • You share different opinions on something, I don't see how it's wrong in this case. Neither of you is wrong.

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