I have a crush on one of my best friends, and I have for a long time. What do I do?

Long story short, I've known this girl for a little over three years. For two-and-a-half of those, I have had a crush on her.

Essentially everyone believes we are dating except for our friends. Most of my friends know that I have a crush on her.

I can't really keep this up anymore. It is taking way too big of an emotional toll on me.

(I'm 14 and she's 13, so proper dating is a little out of the question. Can't really go anywhere, ya know?)

I just need to know what to do, like, should I talk to her about it? What should I say?

Updates:
So, from what I can tell from the current responses, it's a damned if I do, damned if I don't situation, right?

Wonderful.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • While I believe that you should never hold back about how you feel about someone, life's too short to not tell people you care about them... I would be apprehensive about telling a guy friend I have a crush on him. I would need to have a sign from him that he felt the same way.

    A while back I told a guy friend I had feelings for him. He didn't feel the same way. Gradually he distanced himself from me and the relationshipddidn't remain the same. He is a good person and backed off to prevent me clinging to false hope.

    So before you tell her, be prepared for it to affect your friendship... if she doesn't feel the same way..

    I can't be just friends with a guy I have a crush on. It's far too painful. I couldn't bare watching someone I love... love someone else.

    So if you tell her it could end the friendship , if you don't , then when she does meet a guy it will be painful for you. So you have to decide which is more painful... she may feel the same way and the only way to know for sure is to be honest about how you feel.

    You just have to decide which decision will be more painful. Risking losing her friendship if she doesn't feel the same, or risk having to watch her be with someone else

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    • Okay, it is worth noting that I am almost completely certain that she knows that I like her. My friends are not subtle people.

      The problem is talking to her about it, really.

    • Just tell her you have strong feelings for her and you are attracted to her in a romantic way. She will feel flattered and hopefully she feels the same way! Good luck! 😊

Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't go thinking you can salvage your friendship. It was doomed the moment you developed feelings. There is no coming back from this. You either progress into a relationship, or the friendship will be destroyed. You may as well take the risk. Its a 50% of the friendship failing if you make a move, its a 100% chance of the friendship failing if you DON'T make a move. You have nothing to lose, but a lot to potentially gain.

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    • I don't know, this has been working for two and a half years now. That's a pretty long-ass time for something to work when it apparently shouldn't.

    • I'm not saying it will happen now, but your feelings continue to hurt you until you can't take it anymore, and you discard the friendship for your own good. The friendship is going to end either way, you may as well choose the path in which you could possibly keep her.

What Girls Said 6

  • Tell her that you've had feelings for her for awhile now and you're wondering if she feels the same.

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  • if you really like her tell her. If you're afraid that it will ruin your friendship with her, take the risk and actually tell her. If you like her a lot she's worth the risk.

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  • Ask him out but you should wait until your 18.

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  • I'm 15 - does she know you like her? And are you wanting to be more than friends? As simple as that if you like her, just be straight up with her, tell her, and then ask her if she feels the same way, OR try to find out from her friends if she likes you, then if you know she likes you, go for it, and ask her out. That simple.

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    • Everybody knows that I like her, including her. That is not really up for question.

      Asking her female friends is hard, as the only time I see her female friends is when they are with her. She only has three close female friends and two close male friends, of which I am one. The other male friend knows that I like her (He is my friend as well), but he doesn't know if she likes me. I am not friends with her female friends.

  • Go for other girls, if she get's jealous, she probably likes you and you can then tell her you like her.

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  • Dont tell her, wait for her to make he move. I've been in this exact situation... dont ruin your friendship with her, it made me push my guy friend away.

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    • It's been two and a half years though... I figure that if she was going to make a move, she'd have done it by now.

    • then she probably doesn't like you.. so either ruin the friendship or keep your feelings to yourself. your gonna make it awkward and weird if u tell her and she does not feel the same

    • i am not joking when i say I've been in the exact same situation. my best friend had a crush on me for like almost 2 years, he told me i didn't feel the same way, and it made me uncomfortable soi pushed him away.

What Guys Said 9

  • Tell her what you told us. "So, [her name], wanna know something? I've had a huge crush on you for the past 2 and a half years. Yep. Whaddya think of that?"

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  • Is there any reason why you shouldn't talk to her?

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    • First of all, I essentially never get a moment to speak with her alone, and if other people overheard me talking to her about it, that shit would spread like wildfire. Everyone has been, and still is, convinced that we are dating for the past 3 years, so if I say it, and someone hears it, I will NEVER hear the end of it.

  • At your age you're setting a precedence for all future interactions with the opposite sex. Do nothing and you'll always do nothing. Don't be that guy- mold yourself into your ideal self and learn to take risks.

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  • So, ask her out and tell her what's up. What are you waiting for?

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  • You're very young. One thing that i realized is that you've to LEAD, as man. No matter it is talking to her, ask her out, ask for her phone numbers, Generally, most of the time.

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  • Be like "Yo girl meet me by the swings I gotta ask you something". and just like that confess your feelings. Then let life run its course

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  • What is the basis for your attraction to her?

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  • You should tell her how you feel :)

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  • Ask her out. She'll appreciate anything that you would do to her on a first date and both of you know that you are way too young to drive and get her to places so I hope she'll understand but ask her out and day by day talk about feelings for each other and etc.

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