How would you feel if you dated someone who flirted around?

Well I was dating a guy who fit me right, had the things I was looking for and we clicked really great but not even a whole month into our dating I caught him openly flirting on social media. I looked past it because we were just dating but maybe a month later it happened again and then again and again. Like he would leave a flirty comment on a girl's picture who I assume he probably was talking to. Even though we were just dating I sort of felt cheated on because the day before I was just meeting his friends or something like that you know. When he kissed me in front of his friends it no longer felt right. I'm not sure if I was overreacting?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It depends on what he was doing... I am naturally flirty and openly talk and tease anyone, it just so happens when I do this with a girl it is perceived as flirty. But that is just who I am and I think it makes daily life more fun.

    Now I don't know what he was doing on social media as I don't really get into all that, maybe it was stepping over a line- but for me, being friendly and forward with people is just who I am, and I should not have to change something so foundation for myself for someone, it should be a naturally fit- maybe you are just not as much of a fit as you thought...

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    • In my opinion it was stepping the line. I have considered that perhaps he does not like me as much as I like him but what he does tells me that he does. He always stay in touch, plan dates etc. but who knows.

    • Well if you consider it to be over the line, the only thing that matters here is if he is willing to change for you or not. You can't make him, and he may not feel the need to. you just have to tell him, be confident and tot he point and see what he says.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Flirting with other people is a major turn-off to me. It's just one of those things that really bothers me. Like, either be committed or don't be in a relationship with me. In my honest opinion, flirting with other people is not cheating but it is certainly disrespectful to your partner and it would lead me to believe that the guy doesn't care about me very much.

    So, it's totally understandable that you would be upset about that. Some people are just flirts by nature and they may not mean any harm by it. However, it's definitely something that can cause tension in a relationship so if you still want to be with him then I think you need to talk to him about this.

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What Guys Said 18

  • I would have felt the same way I that situation. It is not a matter of whether you were overreacting. That bothered you and you responded to it. You do not need to justify your feelings about this. Regardless of what others may think, this felt wrong for you and you have the right to act on your feelings.

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  • I just went through this, so rather than say what I would normally say, I'm going to suggest that you say something to him about it. I caught the girl I'm seeing on Tinder on Friday, after we had made fairly clear (yes, fairly, not crystal) that we would not see anyone else. We got into a huge fight that, during which she told me that she "knew" I was seeing and talking to other girls (which I wasn't), and that she went on Tinder to boost her confidence and to spite me. She thought that whenever I told her I didn't respond to her night time text because I fell asleep on my couch (which was literally ALWAYS true), that I was really with another girl. "You don't think I know what you're doing?" she said.

    Button line, I really, really wish she had said something to me if she thought that's what I was doing. We could have cleared it up and made our boundaries a little more clear and official. Instead, she let it fester for weeks and it culminated in a huge blow up.

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    • To clarify, by "say something," I mean talk about whether the two of your are seeing other people and whether you want to moving forward. Make your boundaries clear. I do NOT mean to criticize him, attack him, accuse him, or get angry. THAT would be a bad idea.

    • PS did I really say "button line" instead of "bottom line" and not notice it until now?

  • No, he's clearly not serious about any LTR with you, at least not now, so don't pressure him, and don't get your hopes up, or you'll be in for a bruising, emotionally.

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    • He hasn't even given me a chance. Not even a full month into our dating he was already flirting, no way he can tell by three weeks if he's serious about me. Now it's been more than a month though.

  • No one would feel the same. He's not taking you seriously. Time to move on to better. A day with the right person is better than a lifetime with the wrong so seek better and you will find. x

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  • I wouldn't date someone who was flirting around while we were dating. if they want to flirt they can be single and flirt all they want

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  • Talk to him!

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  • I don't think you're overreacting.. I think people in relationships should act more dedicated even if it's "just dating". Maybe I'm old fashioned but I would only date a woman with the intention of getting serious with her. I don't play around. I'm all or nothing.

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  • Let alone dating. Of a girl flirtsnwith me and them I see her flirting with another, she does not get ANY attention from me again. I ignore her big time.

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    • *If a girl flirts with me then*

      (Even this, I had to correct twice. Not sure if its Android or my phone... It makes up its own words)

  • I think he is not serious, and he is just enjoying with you but not serious for future relation. But still you can give him chance as sometimes guys love her girl a lot but flirt with other girls too just for fun Or show off. So you confirm this first. But if it's something else then he must b fooling you around, better to leave.

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  • I would just stop dating them. Flirting with someone else while dating is just serious disrespect.

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  • Yes. You are over-reacting a little bit. He has not exclusive with you yet so he can flirt more with other opposite sex.

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  • I wouldn't date a girl like that... No fucking way

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  • Overreacting or not if its something that bothers you its not going to suddenly get better. Tell him how you feel. If he cares about you he should stop. Either way if he doesn't know it hearts you there is no reason to stop what he is doing and he will probably assume your okay with it.

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  • Yep, he's a fuckboi.

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  • Dating means im knowing you, not loving you. .. u gotta know the difference here

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  • That sucks... I hate when I see that...

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  • you're not the one in the wrong.

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  • You aren't overreacting because he is your boyfriend he shouldn't be doing this calling others honey or darling :-)

    Things like that is wrong

    You should tell me if he doesn't listen ask him why he thinks it would be ok if you call guys babe?

    Any help?

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    • He's not my boyfriend.

    • Dating only means two people are getting to know eachother with possible other perks. Boyfriend and girlfriend is a union between two people in agreement. This hasn't even touched boyfriend girlfriend yet haha.

What Girls Said 22

  • Although I don't think he is doing something completely wrong, I do think it is unattractive to do to go around flirting with girls on social media in itself. Don't feel like your feelings are wrong or unjustified for this, some people may be okay with this and others won't be. It depends on the person. So, I would say analyze where you think this relationship is going and what you want out of it, is it stagnant or do you feel like you're progressing to a more serious commitment?

    And most important is communication, talk to him about this and that it bothers you. He will respect your feelings if he truly cares, and if not, well I would say this guy isn't worth dating anymore to be quite honest.

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  • I would feel so insecure because they probably already have many girls after him. I think you should tell him you don't like it at all. Or can he explain himself!

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  • Nah, I wouldn't like it either. Unless the two of you are just casually dating I feel like dating has a certain level of commitment in it where they shouldn't be directing their attention elsewhere.

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    • This. unless you guys aren't fully committed, this isn't cool. I would peace if someone did this. Its a lack of respect honestly. you shouldn't have to be told to control yourself by your girlfriend. that just screams infidelity / wandering eyes. you deserve someone better honestly.

    • Agreed. No we weren't committed but in dating you're hoping for that at one point so to me this is a bit of a red flag, it makes me take a step back. I haven't dated before only gone from friends to relationship.

  • I'm a flirty person myself. I just like to interact in that way but it really doesn't mean that im less serious about the boy im dating. Its completly seperated for me. If you are in a relationship and he still does this, you can tell him that it bothers you. But for now i wouldn't take it too seriously.

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  • This! This is why I don't date! :D

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  • I wouldn't be able to do it. I'm a possessive person to an extent. It'd be a lot like this:

    http://i.imgur.com/dBgr1oV.jpg

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  • Unfollow him on social media and see if it helps... Just to share, my friends with benefits does not flirt on social media at all, but my goodness!!! When he's out and about taking care of business, and I am on the phone with him, he flirts with just about EVERY woman he interacts with. Do I get a twinge of jealousy? Yes (even though he's not my man) I make comments, and he even jokes with me about my reaction to the interaction (sometimes before I respond). I would also note that we are not exclusive, so he feels comfy with this behavior. I told him you'll stop when you read in the paper that the Walgreens cashier was attacked by a knife wielding woman who screamed "he's mine" before the slashing (he knows I'm just joking when I say these things) men like to test your level of security, as well as your self confidence... If you won't unfollow him, give him a taste of his own medicine, and watch his reaction! ie: a VERY handsome guy (1 I crushed on in HS) recently started following me on FaceBk I've noticed that my friends with benefits hardly ever liked any of my pics, or commented before this guy was added to my friend list! Now, if the guy likes a pic, he likes the pic! He also has began to question my whereabouts frequently! And I believe he may be jealous😉

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  • I wouldn't feel comfortable with someone flirting around if they were dating me... I'm probably old fashioned, but I like being respected... you should too.

    He needs to realize that you are the one that he is dating and decided to date. If you continue to see him, you should set this straight before you go on to something that means something more to you. It would save you a lot of pain.

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  • well you should probably talk about it... about what would be considered as cheating to him. if you two dont have the same definition... its best to break it off.

    like for you it seems that you would consider flirting as cheating already but to him it might not be cheating until he sleeps or kisses one of them.

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  • I'd make him so angry he'd probably start shouting or something.
    I'd also flirt with other guys right in front of him and ruin his rep.
    Any eye for an eye -shrugs-

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  • i wouldn't date him anymore...

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  • Are you exclusive or not? If you aren't and haven't had the talk then yes it is technically ok. And it still hurts.

    I agree that is shows he isn't ready to be serious with you. If that is what you want right now, end it.

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    • No we aren't committed and I haven't talked to him about it but if I flirt with another guy he gets jealous for sure. Not that I go around and flirt with other guys I just tested him two times by doing this hah.

  • There might be a high possibility of him only dating you in order to conquer you private parts and than book it.
    No idea how far you have gone, but there are plenty of panty hunters male/female out there.
    If he already did this repeatedly I'd say your relationship has no basis.
    Just dump him, move on with lifr and think of him as an รท@%#%$^.
    My condolences xC !

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  • you are not overreacting url. he either needs to go or change.

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  • I wouldn't tolerate it.

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  • Betrayed and hurt

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  • What do you mean by dating? Going on dates, or an exclusive partnership?

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    • Going on dates every now and then. Seeing each other.

    • Yeah, he's not taking you seriously. Move on, or you're just going to end up getting hurt by investing time and emotions into someone who is making a fool of you.

  • I dated a guy who flirted so much, I could not deal with it.. not so easy

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  • bye, we're done!

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  • Tough one.. He really shouldn't be flirting around because if you're his girl he should only act that way with you. Maybe talk to him about it and lets hope that he understands.

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  • I don't like people acting like that. It's just stupid. If you like someone, be with that person, but only with them! Don't hurt them, have eyes only for them. And if you aren't ready to do this, just step away, and let that person find someone that will treat them way better than you. Don't break their heart like that

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  • I'm not so sure about these type of guys. There are many type of flirts. All I know is that... those guys are usually the players. I mean if I had a boyfriend and if he was constantly flirting with other girls... I would assume that he still is living the single life. To be in a relationship you must be committed. I mean talking to girls is different than flirting with them. It would be okay if it was a casual talk you know. But if he's all up on the girls, shit I'd dump him right away. I wouldn't waste my time on a guy that doesn't appreciate his one and only girl. Guys need to stop flirting with girls if they are in a relationship. It just brings confusion and overthinking. It's not very nice.

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