I been talking to this girl for over a quarter of a year. Well everything was going good, (Even though we have had a hard time getting on dates due to her busy schedule). Well as soon as she found this person signed DNR, she shut down to me acting very distant and cold. Not messaging me anymore, and when I messaged her she would answer for a bit, then ignore me.
This went on for a week, until I asked what was up. She said started working full time as well, and that thing are pretty messed up in her head. Then she said she likes me a lot, but just wants to be friends. So I figured it was over, told her to say in touch and didn’t talk to her again.
Well a few weeks later after no contact, she starts talking to me again asking how I was. She told me she had her up and downs. Then asked what I was up to, which I said I treated myself out to a movie and a dinner. Which she asked why I didn’t ask her. We talked for a few weeks, but it just didn’t seem the same.
I was starting all the conversations and leading them. (But the last one before she started getting distant again, she blew my phone up that night, then the next day she ignored me) She wouldn’t ask me how my day went or any questions. Any time I hinted her up to do something to get to know each other better she seem to ignore it, but not responding to it. Until I changed the subject.
Now she acting the same as before distant and cold, but responding most of the time, it doesn't last long though because she doesn't keep it going. That family member is in the hospital now and doesn’t sound that great. I been trying to support her and say I am here for her, but all I get is a thank you.
Should I just let her be and not keep messaging her every few days, and just wait? Like send I message saying that, I hope your grandfather is doing well and I am always here if you need anything. Talk for a bit if she replies and tell her not to be a stranger or text me sometime. I just don't know.
Most Helpful Girl
Instead of messaging, maybe sending flowers? Constant messaging might seem annoying, and she may want to be alone. Losing someone is rough. She may be in a dark and gloomy place right now. If it was me, a simple gesture like going into an office or going home and seeing some pretty flowers would cheer me up instead of seeing a lot of unread messages. Just give her some space right now. People deal with things differently.0
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Most Helpful Guy
I think the problem is your talking too much to a grieving person. Some people shutdown when depressed and, don't talk to anybody. I would say get her by herself and hold her and cuddle her. Talk to her but don't push it. Sometimes sitting in silence is best.0